Why did the fish's parents get upset over the fish's grades on its school report card?
Grades were all below C level.
Why was the pirate proud of his son’s most recent report card?
<pirate voice> Because he got all C’s
What did the pirate's son's report card say?
I am scraping the ice off my car using my credit card
There has to be a better way to do it, coz I’m only getting 10% off
Why was the SD card laughing
He had 128 gigglebites of storage
Went to see the new Thor movie for my friend’s birthday and one of them gave him a card and wrote Thor themed puns.
Plans changed. Tried to reopen my tab at the bar. Bartender says, “No problem, I just need your card again.”
Drunkenly I responded, “I’m wearing a jacket, not a sweater”
TRIVIA: Many people know that Nintendo began in the 19th century as a playing card company, but few know that another major video game company started out treating erectile dysfunction.
On my last day at the football club, everyone in the team wrote a drunken message for me on an 10-foot tall red card.
Someone glued every card in the deck together, so now it's just a block of cardboard.
I'm having trouble dealing with it.
What did the stamp say to the Christmas card?
Stick with me and we’ll go places!
I toured a business card plant, but when I got to the factory floor, they wanted to charge me to see it.
They said it was paper view.
I'll play a card game with you, but only if you let me hand out the cards.
I want to make sure we're playing under I-deal conditions.
What credit card is exclusively for use at coffee shops in the US?
The American Expresso Card
What did the cash say to the card after their breakup?
Found my wife sticking my credit card in the outlet…
It’s ok she was just trying to charge it before going shopping.
My best friend gave me this today because I'm obsessed with pigs & it is the best card I've ever gotten.
reddit.com/gallery/lkaalp
Two women were sharing the same ID card
Father’s Day was near when I brought my three-year-old son, u/AndreT_NY Jr, to the card store. Inside, I showed him the cards for dads and told him to pick one.
When I looked back, u/AndreT_NY Jr was picking up one card after another, opening them up and quickly shoving them back into slots, every which way. “u/AndreT_NY Jr, what are you doing?” I asked.
“Haven’t you found a nice card for Daddy yet?”
“No,” he replied. “I’m looking for one with money in it.”
what did Ishmael write inside the card he sent to Ahab in the hospital?
Today at the toy store, my daughter and I walked past the card games. I said, "shhhh..."
"we don't talk about Uno."
Big eye roll.
I had my credit card stolen the other day.
But I didn't bother to report it, since the thief is spending less than my wife.
Hey friends! In support of the LGBTQ+ community I wanted to design a punny pride greeting card and I am so happy with how it turned out :D let me know what you think!
I forgot to pay my water bill again so the city sent me a card.
I was going through the checkout when my card didn't work. The cashier said that I should try the card again.
I looked down at my shirt and said, "but I like my polo".
I had to explain it, but once she got it she thought it was hilarious. I'm very proud of this joke.
I got carded at the liquor store and my blockbuster card accidentally fell out.
The cashier said never mind.
Do you know what happened to the credit card that slipped on the floor?
My report card is like Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer.
i taped my sons report card to the ceiling,
I'm on the fence about the COVID-19 vaccine, but the free stuff you can get for showing your vaccination card looks really nice.
I guess it's worth a shot.
A card game got held at the bottom of the sea, and all the predators came to get in.
But after the last flop, when the tide was high, all the big whales and card sharks folded fin by fin--and there was a clamor! Because the tuna that schooled them was just a Bluefin.
I renamed my phone's SIM card to Titanic and only after telling everyone did the updating issues resolve.
I guess loose lips synch chips
The birthday card my brother got me
Teacher: Felix, when is the boiling point reached? Felix: Just after my father reads my report card.
My dad is going through heart failure, and the first text that I get from him after sending him a card says:
“No more corny jokes, now just corn-orary jokes”
I’m glad he still has his sense of humor through these tough times
I went to the rock-wall place but my debit card was declined, so I had to pay with the coins in my car’s center console.
It was my climb-it change.
My kids came out of school and told my partner they have made cards for her for Mother's Day. I asked for a card, but they said I had to wait until Father's Day. I told my boy I had made a card for him, and he could have it the day after tomorrow,
I went into the kitchen this morning and there was a "Get better soon" card on the table for me. I called out to my wife asking what it was for because I wasn't sick.
She shouted back from the other room "It's an ultimatum."
A kid was teaching me to play the card game from Solo, and he said each round you get dealt a new hand.
"Oh, kinda like Luke?"
I was so proud of myself for that one.
Why did the fish have a bad report card?
because his teacher was crappe
Waitress needed to rerun a debit card at the bar I was working at.
The waitress went up to the customer and said, "Hey, I'm sorry about this but for some reason your card didn't read, I'm going to need your card again."
I overheard this from behind the bar and said, "Amber, it's the middle of the summer, why in the world would this guy have his cardigan."
That was the first and only time I ever got a tip from a guy I never served or talked to.
Nice valentines card from the us navy
We gave my Dad a birthday card that said he could party till the cows come home.
He said he utter-ly loved it!!
When can card games break the laws of thermodynamics?
Why was the little boy’s report card wet?
All his grades were below C level
What did the pirate get on his report card?
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