Why do Cows wear the bells
Because their horns don't work.
Β―_(γ)_/Β―
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︎ Dec 01 2020
A bell curve walked into a plastic surgeon's office and said "Doctor, I don't like the way I look"
And the doctor said, "You look normal to me".
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︎ Dec 21 2020
Why couldn't they ring the jinge bells this holiday season?
Why couldn't they ring the jinge bells this holiday season?
There was noel
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︎ Dec 06 2020
Did you hear about the aggressive Bell Ringer?
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︎ Dec 07 2020
I went to go see the liberty bell...
It wasn't all that it was cracked up to be
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︎ Nov 28 2020
There was an inventor in the late 1800s who despised bells, he designed a device that would eliminate every bell in the world.
He was later awarded the Nobel prize
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︎ Aug 07 2020
A priest in a big church in Paris has a job interview with a new bell ringer. The priest asks βwhy should I hire you?β The applicant responded βI have a special talent!β
βOh, and what is this special talent?β Asked the priest.
The applicant walked up to the bells and slammed his face into the bell.
At first the priest was taken aback, but the sound from the bells was heavenly!
βYouβre hired!!β He exclaimed.
The applicant jumped around in excitement and slipped, falling off the side of the belfry to the ground below.
The priest ran downstairs and outside to the sidewalk where the bell ringer lay dead.
A bystander asked βwho is he?β
The priest responded βI donβt know his name, but his face sure rings a bell!β
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︎ Jul 19 2020
My friend bought a new door bell the other day, I asked whatβs it called.
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︎ Jul 07 2020
An Inventor in the 1800s created a device that instantly eliminated all bells in the world.
He was later awarded the Nobel prize for his scientific achievements.
edit:OC
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︎ Dec 13 2019
Why doesn't the bell ring at the gym?
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︎ May 02 2020
What's the deal with a door and a bell?
On their own they are not really cute, but together they are adorable!
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︎ Jan 11 2020
What did the pot smoking church bell say at 1 AM?
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︎ Feb 26 2020
What's brown and swings from the bell tower ?
The lunch bag of Notre Dame
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︎ Mar 19 2020
Do you know what the people who cracked the liberty bell deserve?
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︎ Nov 23 2019
Quasimodo is suing Notre Dame Cathedral for the damage to his back from all the Bell-ringing.
I think he might be getting a big lump sum.
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︎ Nov 20 2019
What is the horse's name in the song "Jingle Bells"
Bob...bells on "Bob's" tail ring
Credit: heard it the other day and made me laugh
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︎ Dec 03 2019
Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
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︎ Nov 05 2018
What do you call Bell when she's acting stupid at the gym?
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︎ Jul 21 2019
Why do farmers hang bells around the necks off their cows?
Because the horns doesnt work
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︎ Apr 21 2019
The person who invented knock knock jokes deserves a no-bell prize
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︎ May 24 2019
You know why they named it the βbellβ
Because it has a nice ring to it
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︎ Mar 01 2019
Why did the scientist install a knocker on his door? He wanted to win the No-bell prize!
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︎ Mar 17 2019
Why did the scientiet remove the bell outside his house?
Cause he wanted a nobel prize
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︎ Aug 28 2019
A church recently sustained a lot of damage, and had to hire a contractor in order to replace all of it's bells which were destroyed. After completing the work, all of the contractors were promptly arrested.
They were charged with re-belling.
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︎ Aug 21 2019
The inventor of the "knock knock" joke should receive a "No-Bell" prize
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︎ Nov 26 2014
Checking in at a hotel and the front desk agent tells me they donβt have a bell hop for the night.
I told her they should get the Nobel Prize.
She just stared at me blankly for 8 seconds until she said.... βcheck out is at 10β
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︎ Jan 10 2019
I told my friend to get two bell peppers at the store
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︎ Jan 05 2019
The person who invented the knocker probably got a no-bell prize.
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︎ Dec 17 2018
I have a bell in the bathroom that predicts what I'm going to do in there next
I sit on the toilet, strike the bell, and it goes, "Dung!"
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︎ Apr 29 2018
I was sitting in the toilet at Taco Bell and it reminded me of my divorce.
It was extremely messy and involved a lot of paperwork.
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︎ Sep 11 2018
There's a wash basin with a faucet on your front porch ringing the bell...
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︎ Sep 12 2018
Why is Taco Bell the best place to workout?
Anyone can get a 12 pack.
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︎ Dec 04 2018
A man with no arms walks into a church and asked the priest if he could be the new bell ringer.
The priest said he was unsure if he could hire him, but would give him a chance. The man went to the bell tower and started running into the bells head first to make the most beautiful sounds the priest had ever heard. Unfortunately, on his second attempt the man missed the bell and fell out of the tower and died. The priest ran outside to the body and asked the gathering crowd if anyone knew who he was and they all said no, but his face did ring a bell.
A few minutes later another man walked up and claimed that the armless man was a dead ringer for his brother.
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︎ May 21 2015
What do you call drooling people who ring the bells outside of stores during the Holidays?
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︎ Dec 19 2017
Did you hear about the curious case of the Mafia don who required his family members and advisors to ring a bell before entering his office?
He was found dead with a brass handle in his hand.
Theyβre calling it the Mystery of the Knock-Less Mobster.
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︎ Mar 29 2016
School didn't ring a bell the entire day.
They were trying to earn a Nobel Peace Prize
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︎ Nov 02 2016
Talking with my friend before the bell this morning
Him: Dude you know what's intense?
Me: Camping?
I laughed for a good 5 minutes
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︎ May 19 2014
For Whom the Bell Tolls
Pops recently got a new touchdown bell after breaking his getting far too excited over a football game. I came home from work the other day and before I can fully get through the door he rings the bell in my face, looks dead at me and says, "You are for whom it tolls."
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︎ Oct 22 2013
Went to taco bell with the family
they had the spider web halloween decorations up and my dad said:
you should really clean up in here, there's spider webs everywhere.
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︎ Oct 09 2013
My dad put bells on the washroom door
Every time someone uses the washroom he yells "I can hear you tinkling!"
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︎ Dec 24 2014
Got the drive-thru girl at Taco Bell..
I pulled up and she said, "what can I get you?" And I replied, "I'll just have a moment for now."
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︎ Sep 25 2014
Does the name "Pavlov" ring a bell?
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︎ Jun 19 2019
I went to see the Liberty Bell the other day.
Itβs not all itβs cracked up to be.
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︎ May 06 2019
I went to see the Liberty Bell the other day.
Itβs not all itβs cracked up to be.
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︎ Nov 24 2018
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