Perfect for the kids - what do you call a bear with no teeth?!
What do you call a polar bear in the jungle?
Why couldn’t the teddy bear finish his cake...
...because he was already stuffed!
I love the phrase "Bear with me."
It could mean "please be patient" or the "heist at the zoo" was successful.
What did the bear say to her date?
I'll be down in a minute I'm bearly dressed
So a bear walks out of the woods onto a golf course
The golfers didn't want to bear with him about the whereabouts of Tiger Woods and ran towards another bearing.
What happens if a polar bear sits too long on the ice?
Did you hear about the redneck who stepped in a bear trap at the hoedown?
I guess it was a real shindigger
Why was the little bear grumpy?
His mother wouldn’t panda to him
I guess people are just going crazy about the exterior of that new cargo ship that was named for the bear from the Jungle Book.
Personally, I’m tired of the hullabaloo.
I accidentally played 'dad' instead of 'dead' when the bear attacked..
Now, it can ride a bike without stabilisers.
Polar bears have been introduced in the Antarctic. What are these polar bears now called?
My roomba went out my front door and a pack of bears attacked it, an eagle carried it away to the ocean, and a shark finished it off.
Imagine being held at gunpoint by (bear with me) a literate animal, and the only hope of rescue is (BEAR WITH ME) posting a coded message on social media.
wHo the hEll would beLieve such a thing can hapPen.
A bear goes to the bar and says "can I get one whiskey..................and one coke"
The bartender asked "why the big pause"
The bear replies "I was born with them"
What’s the best way to trap a polar bear?
First drill a hole in the ice and line it with green peas. When the polar bear comes to take a pea, kick him in the icehole!
(Told to me by my dad at dinner this evening)
Which bear is the most condescending?
Grizzly bear walks into a bar. Says to the bartender "i'll have a whiskey..................on the rocks, please" bartender asks "whats with the big pause?"
Grizzly looks perplexed and replies "Ive had them all my life"
How did the polar bear catch a penguin?
Because it was bipolar...
Courtesy of my wife: what’s the bear minimum?
Goldilocks, running from the 3 bears, finds herself in a dead end with nothing but a bag of ice. Papa bear is Drunk and scary. What happens next?
A Goldy-smack with a cold sack in a cul de sac, which is more than a bear with beer could bare.
Why did the bear leave the forest he was living in?
Because it was unbearable to live there anymore...
What did the polar bear eat after the dentist fixed his tooth?
A big bear goes into a bar and slaps down a $20 bill and says to the bartender,"give me a gin and................tonic"
The bartender replies, "Why the big paws?"
The bear couldn't decide whether to go north or south for the winter
How does Fozzy the Bear cook his food?
How to Catch a Polar Bear: 1)Find a frozen lake 2)Dig a hole in the ice 3)Surround the hole with frozen peas 4)Hide nearby.
When the bear stops to take a pea, kick it in the ice hole!
Did you hear about all the Bears getting sick in China?
The polar bear was acting weird at the zoo
Why do polar bears live only in the north pole?
Because if it also lived in the south pole it would be bipolar
As the bears ripen, they become heavier and eventually fall off 😁
What kind of bears makes the best politicians?
Bear walks into a bar. Bartender says - “what’ll you have?” Bear says “I’ll have a beer......... and...................... um.............. a bourbon.” Bartender says “alright. Say what’s with the big pause?”
Bear says “oh these? I was born with em.”
A bear walks into a bar and says "I want a gin.........and tonic." Bartender asks "why the big pause?"
Bear: holds up paws "cuz I'm a bear"
Why teddy bears don't go to the gym?
They don't wanna get ripped
What do you call a polar bear in the jungle?
I accidentally played 'Dad' instead of 'Dead', when the bear attacked.
Now it can ride a bike without stabilisers.
What kind of bear is the most condescending?
What bear is the most condescending?
Why couldn't the teddy bear finish his cake?
Bear walks into a bar and says to the bartender: "One whiskey and ................... one coke.
"Why the big pause?" - says the bartender.
"I don't know. I was born with them" - says the bear.
What is the bear minimum?
To catch a polar bear you surround a hole in the ice with peas
Then, when he goes to take a pea you kick him in the ice hole.
Why didn't the teddy bear eat any dinner?
They were already stuffed!
Why couldn't the teddy bear eat his dessert?
Why couldn’t the teddy bear finish his birthday cake?
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