Australian tennis star Bernard Tomic's sister, Ana, agreeing with her friend Ally about the positions of body parts
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︎ Dec 01 2020
I was watching an Australian cooking show the other day
Every time the chef made a meringue, the audience clapped. I was confused. I always thought Australians boo meringue.
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︎ Oct 27 2020
What do you call a vengeful Australian spell caster who lives on the beach?
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︎ Nov 16 2020
What is the difference between an Australian pop star and Jesus on the toilet?
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︎ Sep 04 2020
An American, an Armenian, an Australian, an Austrian, a Burmese, a Chinese, a Canadian, a Dutchman, a Dane, an Englishman, an Estonian, a German, a Japanese, a Korean, a Mexican, a Nepalese, a Pole, a Russian, and a Welshman all walk into a posh bar. The doorman says sorry, we have standards.
You canβt come in without a Thai.
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︎ Sep 23 2020
I was watching an Australian cooking show, and the audience clapped when the chef made meringue
I was quite surprised, as Australians normally boo meringue.
Originally posted by u/knowthe_numbers
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︎ Aug 26 2020
Luck rituals in the Australian Open.
I was golfing in the Australian Open for the first time. I noticed all the pros were putting various condiments on their clubs. Salt on a putter, brown sauce on a driver, ketchup on a 9-iron.
I my caddy why they were doing it, and he explained that an Australian thing for good luck.
Now, by that time I had already shot straight into a sand trap so I said to him: "Too bad I didn't know about it. I really could use some of that luck right about now."
He just smiled...
...and gave me a vegemite sand-wedge.
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︎ Sep 22 2020
He gets a mini heart-attack when the Australian waiter says "Check, Mate"
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︎ May 11 2020
This morning, I told my Australian friend that the store was having a sale, and that he should check it out. He looked up at me, took out his earphones and said...
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︎ Jun 08 2020
Watching an Australian cooking show and the chef made some meringue and the crowd cheered!
Surprising since most Aussies like to boo meringue.
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︎ Apr 03 2020
A man from Prague and his friend were playing chess at a restaurant when an Australian waiter interrupts their game. The waiter says, "have a check, mate. Your Czech mate is about to be in checkmate... oh, and here's the cheque, mate."
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︎ May 31 2020
Who is the Australian Frankenstein's favourite music artist?
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︎ Aug 13 2020
What did the Australian chess player say after he finished his meal?
"Can I have the check, mate?"
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︎ Jul 22 2020
What did the Australian say to the toilet?
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︎ May 19 2020
What's the favourite type of cake of Australians?
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︎ Apr 05 2020
Today while discussing game meats and a kangaroo stew I made a few years back, my coworker pointed out that with the Australian wild fires you wonβt be able to get much kangaroo meat these days...
My reply without missing a beat β youβll be able to buy it, you just wonβt be able to buy it rare.
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︎ Jan 10 2020
Why are Australian dad jokes the best?
Because they are koala tea.
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︎ Feb 18 2020
For all the Australianβs convenience so they can see the top meme without having to look upside down.
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︎ May 13 2019
Have you heard of the new Australian earphones that let everyone down?
They were noice-cancelling.
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︎ Jan 20 2020
Why couldnβt the Australian general win the war on bread?
Because it was stale, mate.
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︎ Nov 27 2017
I heard that thereβs an Australian tea harvested from the tops of Eucalyptus trees
Itβs pretty high koala tea
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︎ Jul 25 2019
Why didn't the Australian marsupial climb down the tree to drink the beverage waiting for him on the ground?
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︎ Jan 30 2020
I don't understand why the Australian authorities haven't called out the lady sheep to deal with the fires. Everyday, when I was a child, Smokey the Bear was on TV telling me,
"Only EWE can prevent forest fires."
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︎ Jan 08 2020
An Australian chess player went into a restaurant and ordered food. After having his food , the waiter asked him "Cash or Credit , Sir?"
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︎ Oct 22 2019
The Royal Australian Mint has game
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︎ Apr 03 2019
Can an Australian with poor vision clearly see the moon?
No, but a "good eye might".
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︎ Oct 27 2019
I can't believe the results of the Australian Election this year.
Bill really got the shorten of the stick.
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︎ Nov 02 2019
What did the Australian cowboy charge for kangaroo rides?
A Buckaroo
(My 3 year old came to me with that one this morning)
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︎ Sep 27 2019
What did the Australian chess champion say to his waitor when he was finished with his lunch?
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︎ Jun 14 2019
Why couldnβt the Australian marsupial find a job?
Because he was underKoalafied.
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︎ Jul 24 2019
I was applying for Australian citizenship and the interviewer asked whether I had a criminal record.
I replied: "No. Is that still a requirement?"
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︎ Apr 13 2019
What did the Australian baseball coach say to the batter?
Good eye, mate. Good eye...
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︎ Aug 12 2019
What did the Australian Chess player say about the mouldy bread?
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︎ May 24 2019
What did the Australian child say on their 8th birthday?
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︎ Oct 31 2018
What did the incredulous Australian anteater say to his child?
Are euchidding me?
Told to my 2 month old daughter who thought this was hilarious! Or... maybe she just smiles reflexively... either way....!
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︎ May 15 2019
Australians are importing kitchen worktops from the UK...
....they call them pommigranites.
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︎ Jun 17 2019
The kids asked me why our Alexa in the basement has an Australian accent
Me: "Because the basement is down under the house"
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︎ Jan 13 2019
What does the vegan Australian eat?
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︎ Dec 13 2018
I was watching an Australian cooking show recently and the audience began applauding when the chef made meringue. Which is odd because...
...Australians usually boo meringue
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︎ Aug 17 2020
I was watching an Australian cooking show when the audience started applauding when the chef made a meringue.
I was shocked. Usually Australians boo meringue.
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︎ Aug 01 2020
I was watching an Australian show and the audience applauded when the host made a lemon meringue.
I was confused because I thought Australians usually boo meringue.
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︎ Aug 14 2020
I was watching an Australian cooking show, and the audience applauded when the chef made a meringue.
I was surprised. Usually Australians boo meringue.
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︎ Mar 24 2020
What did the Australian grandmaster say when he finished his meal?
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︎ Jul 12 2020
I was watching an Australian cooking show and the audience started applauding when the chef made a meringue.
I was shocked. Usually Australians boo meringue.
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︎ Jan 23 2020
I was watching an Australian cooking show, and the audience applauded the chef for making a perfect meringue.
I was surprised, as Australian's usually boo meringue.
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︎ Apr 04 2020
I was watching an Australian cooking show and was surprised when the audience cheered the meringue.
Australians usually boo-meringue.
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︎ Apr 13 2020
I was watching an Australian cooking show and people started cheering when the chef made a meringue.
I was shocked, Australians usually boo meringue.
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︎ Jan 21 2020
How does an Australian chess player ask for the bill?
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︎ Jun 28 2018
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