Australian tennis star Bernard Tomic's sister, Ana, agreeing with her friend Ally about the positions of body parts

Ana Tomic: Ally, correct

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2020
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I was watching an Australian cooking show the other day

Every time the chef made a meringue, the audience clapped. I was confused. I always thought Australians boo meringue.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kriskidd21
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2020
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What do you call a vengeful Australian spell caster who lives on the beach?

A vege-smite sand witch!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rivethart
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2020
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What is the difference between an Australian pop star and Jesus on the toilet?

One has shoaly hits

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πŸ‘€︎ u/QuaccAttacc420
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2020
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An American, an Armenian, an Australian, an Austrian, a Burmese, a Chinese, a Canadian, a Dutchman, a Dane, an Englishman, an Estonian, a German, a Japanese, a Korean, a Mexican, a Nepalese, a Pole, a Russian, and a Welshman all walk into a posh bar. The doorman says sorry, we have standards.

You can’t come in without a Thai.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rocknocker
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2020
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I was watching an Australian cooking show, and the audience clapped when the chef made meringue

I was quite surprised, as Australians normally boo meringue.

Originally posted by u/knowthe_numbers

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πŸ‘€︎ u/_methematician
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2020
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Luck rituals in the Australian Open.

I was golfing in the Australian Open for the first time. I noticed all the pros were putting various condiments on their clubs. Salt on a putter, brown sauce on a driver, ketchup on a 9-iron.

I my caddy why they were doing it, and he explained that an Australian thing for good luck.

Now, by that time I had already shot straight into a sand trap so I said to him: "Too bad I didn't know about it. I really could use some of that luck right about now."

He just smiled...

...and gave me a vegemite sand-wedge.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BrianBoyko
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2020
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He gets a mini heart-attack when the Australian waiter says "Check, Mate"
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πŸ‘€︎ u/stunner19
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2020
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This morning, I told my Australian friend that the store was having a sale, and that he should check it out. He looked up at me, took out his earphones and said...

"Good I might"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/-taco-rice-
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2020
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Watching an Australian cooking show and the chef made some meringue and the crowd cheered!

Surprising since most Aussies like to boo meringue.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hoosierdaddiesx
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2020
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A man from Prague and his friend were playing chess at a restaurant when an Australian waiter interrupts their game. The waiter says, "have a check, mate. Your Czech mate is about to be in checkmate... oh, and here's the cheque, mate."
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Repluse
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2020
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Who is the Australian Frankenstein's favourite music artist?

Rihanna, mate.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ribdunge
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2020
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What did the Australian chess player say after he finished his meal?

"Can I have the check, mate?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Desunator
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2020
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What did the Australian say to the toilet?

Bidet mate.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dancunn
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2020
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What's the favourite type of cake of Australians?

Upside-down Cake

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πŸ‘€︎ u/halfbloodprince07
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2020
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Today while discussing game meats and a kangaroo stew I made a few years back, my coworker pointed out that with the Australian wild fires you won’t be able to get much kangaroo meat these days...

My reply without missing a beat β€” you’ll be able to buy it, you just won’t be able to buy it rare.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sockyg
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2020
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Why are Australian dad jokes the best?

Because they are koala tea.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tungur_Knivur2020
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2020
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For all the Australian’s convenience so they can see the top meme without having to look upside down.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BMSAwesomeness
πŸ“…︎ May 13 2019
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Have you heard of the new Australian earphones that let everyone down?

They were noice-cancelling.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lpalokan
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2020
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Why couldn’t the Australian general win the war on bread?

Because it was stale, mate.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/praesespilsbaas
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2017
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I heard that there’s an Australian tea harvested from the tops of Eucalyptus trees

It’s pretty high koala tea

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dd0sed
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2019
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Why didn't the Australian marsupial climb down the tree to drink the beverage waiting for him on the ground?

It was Low Koala Tea

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Talon184
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2020
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I don't understand why the Australian authorities haven't called out the lady sheep to deal with the fires. Everyday, when I was a child, Smokey the Bear was on TV telling me,

"Only EWE can prevent forest fires."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/slowshot
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2020
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An Australian chess player went into a restaurant and ordered food. After having his food , the waiter asked him "Cash or Credit , Sir?"

He said "Cheque , mate"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PanPitza
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2019
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The Royal Australian Mint has game
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πŸ‘€︎ u/purejawgz
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2019
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Can an Australian with poor vision clearly see the moon?

No, but a "good eye might".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/seudonim
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2019
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Native Australians were the first to develop the six pack muscle in their belly.

Ab originals.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sodomicity
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2018
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I can't believe the results of the Australian Election this year.

Bill really got the shorten of the stick.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/darthmonks
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2019
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What did the Australian cowboy charge for kangaroo rides?

A Buckaroo

(My 3 year old came to me with that one this morning)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KiwiCandle
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2019
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What did the Australian chess champion say to his waitor when he was finished with his lunch?

Checkmate.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DJOK9R
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2019
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Why couldn’t the Australian marsupial find a job?

Because he was underKoalafied.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KIrvine77
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2019
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I was applying for Australian citizenship and the interviewer asked whether I had a criminal record.

I replied: "No. Is that still a requirement?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BassWizard420
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13 2019
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What did the Australian baseball coach say to the batter?

Good eye, mate. Good eye...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FartyFartyMcFly
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2019
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What did the Australian Chess player say about the mouldy bread?

Stalemate

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SoloKnightNJO
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2019
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What did the Australian child say on their 8th birthday?

Oi mate!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/--Giraffe--
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2018
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What did the incredulous Australian anteater say to his child?

Are euchidding me?

Told to my 2 month old daughter who thought this was hilarious! Or... maybe she just smiles reflexively... either way....!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/montebella2017
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2019
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Australians are importing kitchen worktops from the UK...

....they call them pommigranites.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cwwspurs
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2019
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The kids asked me why our Alexa in the basement has an Australian accent

Me: "Because the basement is down under the house"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nerd_of_gods
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2019
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What does the vegan Australian eat?

Veggie, mate.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/f_tothe_p
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2018
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I was watching an Australian cooking show recently and the audience began applauding when the chef made meringue. Which is odd because...

...Australians usually boo meringue

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Alastrel3000
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2020
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I was watching an Australian cooking show when the audience started applauding when the chef made a meringue.

I was shocked. Usually Australians boo meringue.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2020
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I was watching an Australian show and the audience applauded when the host made a lemon meringue.

I was confused because I thought Australians usually boo meringue.

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πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2020
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I was watching an Australian cooking show, and the audience applauded when the chef made a meringue.

I was surprised. Usually Australians boo meringue.

πŸ‘︎ 276
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2020
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What did the Australian grandmaster say when he finished his meal?

Check, mate

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Arebee936
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2020
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I was watching an Australian cooking show and the audience started applauding when the chef made a meringue.

I was shocked. Usually Australians boo meringue.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2020
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I was watching an Australian cooking show, and the audience applauded the chef for making a perfect meringue.

I was surprised, as Australian's usually boo meringue.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/holiestofrollers
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2020
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I was watching an Australian cooking show and was surprised when the audience cheered the meringue.

Australians usually boo-meringue.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bu11et_farmer
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13 2020
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I was watching an Australian cooking show and people started cheering when the chef made a meringue.

I was shocked, Australians usually boo meringue.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2020
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How does an Australian chess player ask for the bill?

Check mate!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/_BlNG_
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2018
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