A Kung Fu student asks his teacher, "Master, why does my ability not improve? I'm always defeated." And the master, pensive and forever patient, answers, "My dear pupil, have you seen the gulls flying by the setting sun and their wings seeming like flames?"
"Yes, my master, I have."
"And a waterfall, spilling mightly over the stones without taking anything out of its proper place?"
"Yes, my master, I have witnessed it."
"And the moon, when it touches the calm water to reflect all its enormous beauty?"
"Yes, my master, I have also seen this marvelous phenomenon."
"That is the problem. You keep watching all this shit instead of training."
Why is 6 afraid of 7? (The answer is not what you're thinking)
Not what you're thinking.
My dad had a burning question about grammar and I didn't know the answer so I came here to ask it.
His question was, "Is 'buttcheeks' one word?"
"Or should I spread them apart?"
Every day I come home and ask my dog how his day was, and every day he always gives the same answer...
I guess it's time to answer the call of Nature..💩
My dad's answer to what came first, the chicken or the egg?
The one you ordered first.
We have a joke calendar and we missed this week, my wife was having me guess the answers and we ended up accidentally creating this gem: what do you call a cow that was just born?
A guy is walking through the woods one day when he comes across a suitcase. He takes a look inside, only to find a fox and her cubs. So he calls the ASPCA and tells the woman who answers what he’s found...
She says, “Oh, that’s horrible. Are they moving?”
The guy replies, “I don’t know, but that would explain the suitcase.”
Violins is never the answer
I've been on edge today searching for the answer.
I usually use Chrome, but today I'm on Edge.
The answer is what happened
The DJs at prom don't techno for an answer
I was on a game show and the final question was "What do you call a 3D painting made out of plaster?" I couldn't think of the answer and I was worried I'd lose all of the money. Then I got it right!
Confucius knew the answers to all of life’s questions.
The same cannot be said of his twin brother, Confusion.
A woman in the shower hears the doorbell. "It's the blind man". So she answers the door naked...
"Nice bewbs! Now where do you want me to hang the blind?"
Still can’t find the answer
I asked my daughter which state she likes most in the USA, but she didn't answer!
It's ok, Alaska again later.
Answer the question woman!
Think of a number between 5 and 15. Multiply by 2, add 3, and subtract 7 from the answer. Now close your eyes.
I asked my friend what he was doing with all the cement he bought. He didn't give me a concrete answer.
I think the President has all the answers on COVID-19...
My son turned 21 today and as we were about to share our first drink together, I wisely advised him, "Remember, vodka may not be the answer..."
"...but it’s worth a shot."
Ok babe, I have a question. I'm pretty sure the answer is no...
...but what is the opposite of yes?
What is the best gift you can give someone? Answer: a broken drum...
A cowboy comes to his boss his ranch and says 'thats all 50 cows boss'. The boss answers 'how did you get 50? I only got 48!'
The cowboy answers 'I know, I rounded them up.'
A tough one found on the Punderland home on Balboa Island. (Answer in comments)
I wanted to know how to build big muscular shoulders. I tried asking a guy with big traps at the gym, but I still have no answer...
...every time I ask him, he just shrugs.
Drugs are never the answer.
But it is a five letter clue for a crossword puzzle.
Which Witcher character knows the answers to all quiz questions?
Danger, Fear, and Panic came knocking at my door. It'd been ten years since the last visit, and all holding clipboards, were ready to begin the inquisition. Nervously, I opened the door and prepared myself to answer their calling.
Your mom had to get a tuberculosis test for work. I guess we'll finally have an answer to the age-old question . . .
What's worse than a person with all the answers?
Why Couldn't the Rope Answer the Phone?
Because it was all tied up!
I had a frightening math joke where the answer comes out to 4.
But I'm 2^2 to even say it.
The answer to an addition problem is the...
Can't answer the question
My wife: I'm not in any kind of state to be answering questions like that!
Me: What questions DO they answer in Florida?
I'm positive about the answer
42 is the answer because it is very fortuitous.
Alcohol is not the answer!!
It helps forget the question though
Every day I come home and ask my dog how his day was, and every day he always gives the same answer...
Why is 6 afraid of 7? (The answer is not what you are thinking)
Not what you are thinking.
My son turned 21 today and as we were about to share our first drink together, I wisely advised him, "Remember, vodka may not be the answer..."
"...but it’s worth a shot."
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