The Adults Puns

A list of puns related to "The Adults"

When I was young, my parents used to buy all my sports gear but now that I’m an adult I figured I should splurge and buy myself a nice hockey stick. When I went looking at the store I realized that my parents would only buy me low quality, inexpensive sticks to save money.

Cheapskates!........cheap helmets, cheap gloves...

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👤︎ u/deathorcharcoal
📅︎ Nov 01 2020
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My nickname in the adult film industry used to be Tri-Pod..

I was the best camera man they ever had.

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👤︎ u/BeastWhiteKid
📅︎ Sep 14 2020
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You know you're an adult when you look at the ceiling after hearing a dad joke

Because you groan-up.

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👤︎ u/zigbigidorlu
📅︎ Sep 04 2020
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One thing is almost certain about the adult entertainment industry in light of covid-19:

It's going tits up.

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👤︎ u/place_of_desolation
📅︎ Mar 25 2020
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What is the difference between a baby and an adult???

It Depends...

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👤︎ u/bad11ama
📅︎ Apr 03 2020
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MOM: Look at all this work! I can't believe I have to be an adult for the rest of my life!

DAD: Not really hon. After 70 you can pretend to be senile, and be a kid again.

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👤︎ u/Jan_Tik
📅︎ Dec 13 2019
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One of the particpants at an adult foster care home dropped this bomb.

I work at a house and take care of two gentlemen with mental disabilities who live there. One of them dropped this gem today:

Him: What would happen if I didn't have a mouth? I couldn't talk. What would happen if I didn't have a nose? I couldn't smell. What would happen if I didn't have any ears? I couldn't see. Me: Do you mean you couldn't hear? Him: No, my hat would fall down and cover my eyes.

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👤︎ u/Calebshmaleb
📅︎ Nov 26 2015
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What animal is not born yet but can also be an adult at the same time

Womb bat

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👤︎ u/Ol-CAt
📅︎ Sep 26 2019
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Why couldn't the young pirate see the adult movie?

Two eyepatches.

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👤︎ u/isthisusernametakenr
📅︎ Aug 25 2018
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What the Fonz' favorite adult beverage?

Chardonn-Aaaay!

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👤︎ u/caferreri11
📅︎ Oct 09 2018
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An adult finds a lost kid and asks him “Do you know your mom’s number?” The kid says he does and then tells him

“My mom is number one”.

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👤︎ u/Papau_Dude
📅︎ Dec 18 2018
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Why can’t baby ants walk to the store to get milk, but adults can?

Because they lack toes in toddler ants.

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👤︎ u/BigRike
📅︎ Jul 28 2018
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Did you hear about the new adult math store?

You can go and watch Möbius strip.

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👤︎ u/larmoejr
📅︎ Nov 20 2017
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I've gone with without shaving for a while, for the first time in my adult life.

At first I wasn't sure whether I liked the beard, but it's growing on me.

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👤︎ u/YoureAMuenster
📅︎ Sep 07 2018
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It's only natural that us adults stare at our phones all the time...

because as babies, we were taught to stare at the mobiles above our cribs.

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👤︎ u/OK_Compooper
📅︎ Dec 08 2016
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I always hear about "adult supervision", but I still have roughly the same eyesight as when I was a kid. When do I get the grownup super-powered vision?
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👤︎ u/geak78
📅︎ Jun 14 2017
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Microsoft's search engine is the best one for adult entertainment (porn). But after I used it, I cleared my browser history. I might have a disorder, because...

I Binged and purged.

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👤︎ u/pjabrony
📅︎ Apr 08 2015
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Which has the higher body temperature, an adult otter or an otter pup?

The pup - it's just a little otter.

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👤︎ u/Bigfoothobbit
📅︎ Jan 20 2017
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When we passed the adult store...

There was a sign on an adult store that said "Blow Out Sale!"

Dad: I think they mean "Blow Up Sale!"

He repeated it every time we went passed until they took it down.

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👤︎ u/JoeSvo
📅︎ Aug 27 2013
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