My dentist removed my teeth

That was very demolarising

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rairishu
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2021
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I always wanted to keep my wisdom teeth but I just went to the dentist and it looks like they're gonna have to be removed

To be honest this is pretty demolarizing

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MyHandsAreOrange
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2021
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I went to the dentist the other day. He took one look at my teeth and said he needed to do an impression.

To be honest, his Sinatra wasn't that bad.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GodNamedBob
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2020
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I told the dentist my teeth were hurting so he told me to go home and drink some Whiskey

So I gave it a shot

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FrescoIX
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2020
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Dentist: This is extraordinary! You don’t seem to have any teeth at all!

Woman: I’m here for a smear test

Dentist: oh that’s next door!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LTAD2108
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2020
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My dentist sold his socks after checking my teeth

he had incisor information

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hotsprings1234
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2020
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I was worried my dentist wouldn’t clean my teeth properly.

Every wall in his his office was covered in plaque.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/boogerknows
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2019
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My wife had two crowns put on her teeth yesterday. She was complaining about the pain and the dentist gave her some medication for it. We are talking later and she said that she waited too long between the first and second pill and her teeth started to ache again. I asked her what time that was.

She said she didn't remember.

I asked her if it was around tooth hurty!

She got mad and hit me in the arm and stopped talking to me for a while.

Totally worth it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/blackdragon8577
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2018
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How does a dentist check a crocodiles teeth ?

Very carefully.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gemking321
πŸ“…︎ May 13 2019
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My new dentist called me and said that he needs to make another mold of my teeth.

He made a terrible first impression.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2019
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I went to the dentist yesterday because I had hair growing around my teeth.

He went through it with a fine-tooth comb.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/itsthearistocrat
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2018
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I went to my dentist the other day and he told me I had 70’s teeth.

Dentist: β€œThey’re groOoOoOvy”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ShayShayRian
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2019
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I went to a dentist who enjoys golf to get my teeth checked.

He said I had a hole in one.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rinat1234567890
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2018
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A man went to the Dentist's

The Dentist said: "Wow your teeth are disgusting."

The man cried

Then..

The Dentist said: "Geez.. you don't have to be that sensiteeth."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hanemun
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2021
🚨︎ report
We will never run out of puns now!

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/communist_scumbag
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
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Why do dentists call them "Dental x-rays" when they could just call them...

...Tooth pics

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Roxroxx
πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2019
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My Dad Goes To The Dentist

When he gets there, the Dentist asks, "Are you here for your teeth appointment?"

"No," Dad replies. "I'm here for my teeth alignment. Why would I need pointy teeth?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LavaWolf800
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2020
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Seen at a dentist's office
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porkchop_d_clown
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2018
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I dad jokes my dentist while she was actively working on me.

Scene- Me, at dentist, having teeth removed. She was having a bit of trouble with some of them and this was while she had instruments in my mouth. There's some pain after maximum amount of anesthetic she can give me. Asks me how I'm doing.

Me- There is some pain in the teeth after numbing but it isn't anything I can handle.

Dentist- Last time you were here we didn't have a problem but this time your teeth are being a major pain in the butt.

Me- My teeth are a pain in the butt? No wonder people say I talk out of my ass way too much.

She had to stop for a bit to finish laughing.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nodnarb232001
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2020
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At the dentist's office the other day....

Me: "Doc, whenever I brush my teeth, I get the feeling that there is a 10 cent coin, nearby."

Dentist: "Are you brushing with Sense-a-dime?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pj566
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2020
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My dad's reaction to whenever the time is 2:30 or anywhere near 2:30 for the last 24 years I've known him...

"Uhp! Time to go to the dentist."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/doodiewizard
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2013
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Puns for Kids

The funniest and shortest puns for kids, you always remember while teaching children puns, try to choose the short ones because they are easy for them to remember and register.

Puns for Kids

Why are teddy bears never hungry? They are always stuffed!


What do you get when you cross a snake and a pie? A pie-thon!


Where do polar bears vote? The North Poll.


What did the judge say when the skunk walked into the court room? Odor in the court!


Two silkworms had a race. They ended up in a tie.


Why are fish so smart? Because they live in schools.


The streets in the capital of Afghanistan are paved with Kabulstones.


How does a lion greet the other animals in the field? Pleased to eat you.


What do you get when a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn? An egg roll!


No matter how much you push the envelope, it will still be stationery.


Why did the turkey cross the road? To prove he wasn’t chicken!


What musical is about a train conductor? β€œMy Fare, Lady”.


A man drowned in a bowl of muesli. A strong currant pulled him in.


What do you get from a pampered cow? Spoiled milk.


What animals are on legal documents? Seals!


Why did the lion spit out the clown? Because he tasted funny!


Why did the bumble bee leave the house? It heard the school was having a spelling bee.


Being struck by lightning is really a shocking experience!


How do celebrities stay cool? They have many fans!


Why do fish live in salt water? Because pepper makes them sneeze!


Dockyard: A physician’s garden.


What did the angry mother say to the boiling pot of spaghetti? Simmer down!


The lights were too bright at the Chinese restaurant so the manager decided to dim sum.


β€œWhat’s purple and 5000 miles long?” β€œOoh! I know! The Grape Wall of China!”


Every calendar’s days are numbered.


This duck walks into a bar and orders a beer. β€œFour bucks,” says the bartender. β€œPut it on my bill.”


I used to be twins. My mother has a picture of me when I was two.


What sound do porcupines make when they kiss? Ouch!


When does a well-dressed lion look like a weed? When he’s a dandelion (dandy lion).


Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a-salted.


A bicycle can’t stand on its own because it is

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Punsville
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2017
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[Long] a brush with death

Credit to u/echonight . This is a cross post from r/askreddit

There are two identical twin brothers that live together. One happens to be a well-respected dentist, and the other can't seem to keep a job. Instead of actively looking for work, he likes to sit around at home. One Saturday, the dentist is hungry, and puts his brother on the spot. He tells him to get off his lazy behind and go get them some food. After some protest, the lazy brother takes the car and leaves for the store. In the meantime, the dentist takes a nap on his day off. He turns off his phone so he won't be interrupted.

About 30 minutes later, the lazy brother gets into a head-on collision in the intersection by the grocery store. His vital signs are fading; he's unconscious and barely moving. An ambulance picks him up and rushes him to the hospital. He ends up in the Emergency Room under observation, but his condition is critical. They try calling his dentist brother, but he doesn't pick up because his phone is off.

The dentist wakes to a knock on the door. Suspecting a solicitor, he ignores it, but the knocking continues. Eventually, he resolves to get up and yell at the person at the door. When he does, he reveals--- the grim reaper. He is just as he appears in movies; a full skeleton underneath a tattered cloak.

The grim reaper swears. "Oh no! This always happens with identical twins".

"What do you mean?" asks the dentist.

"Well... if you must know, your brother was in a critical car accident, and I've come to take him to the underworld. I'm afraid his time on Earth has ended. I'll take my leave now."

The dentist is noticeably upset. He says "Wait! Isn't there some way I can challenge you for my brother's life? After all, YOU made the mistake. Certainly there must be a way I can bargain for his life."

The grim reaper asks "What do you have in mind?"

The dentist thinks. "How about a challenge? If I beat you, you let my brother go free."

The grim reaper laughs. "I will beat you in any challenge. What challenge do you propose?"

The dentist smiles. "I propose we see who has the cleanest teeth. 5 minute of brushing each, then we decide."

"Very well" says the grim reaper, who makes his way to the bathroom.

Once there, he pulls back his tattered cloak to reveal his skull. It's glistening. He takes a toothbrush from the bathroom, loads it with toothpaste, and brushes. After 5 minutes, the shiniest teeth anyone has ever seen glisten and make the room bright. The grim reaper gr

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/spartan-44
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2017
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Dadjoked the dentist just now.

My wife, our newborn, and I came to the dentist for my wife's appointment. The Doctor leans over the front desk and starts making those noises women make when babies are seen.

Doc: awwww he's soooo cute! How's he doing?

Me: well actually doctor, that's why we're here. You see, he was born without teeth.. and we're kinda worried about that.

It took them (the doctor, assistant, and my wife) a few seconds to realize I was trying (failing) to make a joke. You should've seen my big dopey smile :-)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nankilslas
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2015
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Got the Girl at the Dentist this Morning

Went into the dentist for tooth pain, was told they are going to extract my upper wisdom teeth. The receptionist scheduled me two weeks from now at 2:30.

"Huh, that's funny."
"What's funny?"
"My appointment. It's tooth hurty."

Groaning and laughter ensued.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/spoonman33
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2016
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Took my daughter to her first dentist appointment.

She is a very typical girly-girl -- loves princesses and pink stuff. The dentist says "Let's see those pretty princess teeth!" to which my natural response was "I hope none of them need a crown!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ohenry78
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2015
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Got my brother

My brother went in to discuss getting his wisdom teeth removed with his dentist. He was talking about the meeting with my parents and he got to the point about where he talked about anesthetic. He said that he was just going to have them numb the area around his teeth. Then my parents were saying that they are surprised he wasn't going under. This is where i struck, saying that "it would be foolish to go to Australia to get his teeth pulled".

Groaning ensued

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Onlyusemeusername
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2015
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At the Dentist's Office

A carpenter walks into a dentist's office. He had somehow managed to lodge a nail into one of his teeth.

The dentist had to fight tooth and nail to get it out.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MegaZeroX7
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2015
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I've just been dadjoked. Send help.

Dad:(Talking about his dentist appointment) They told me I'm getting false teeth.

Me: Oh yeah? That's good, it'll make things a lot eaiser for you.

Dad: Yeah I know. They'll be like the stars and come out at night. (Does dadjoke laugh like Mister Krabs)

I left the room in the middle of our conversation.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/iammilke
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2015
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Dad joked my step daughter

So my step daughter is recovering from having here wisdom teeth pulled 3 days ago.

She just asked "so how do I brush my teeth"? (Her dentist gave special instructions).

I replied "with a tooth brush".

She flips me off. God I love my kids.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dragonstar982
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2014
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As a new dad, I figure I should start coming up with some of my own jokes

How can you do math with your teeth?

When you go to the dentist and he gives you a shot some of your teeth will be numb and others will be number!

[this is the best wording I could come up with]

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kr3ml1n
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2013
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My new dentist called me back in to make another mold of my teeth.

Needless to say, he made a terrible first impression.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2018
🚨︎ report
A giant list of puns from r/copypasta

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
514 Dad Jokes

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Josvys
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2019
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I was at the dentist today

I was at the dentist waiting for my dad to get done. The dentist asks my dad "are your teeth sensitive?"

"Only when you call them mean names"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Diptura
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2015
🚨︎ report
Dentist

So my dad takes me to the dentist to have my wisdom teeth out. When I wake up from being knocked out, the nurse guides me down the hallway. To the waiting room where my dad is waiting. I'm really out of it so the nurse is having a hard time since I'm a big guy. The nurses says to my dad, "With your son being so big, what happens if he falls over?". My dad looks at her and says "I don't know about you, but I'm getting the hell out of the way!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/totalarnage
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2013
🚨︎ report

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