T X Puns

I don’t know why.

Because they're all not 'C's.

I would rocket

She saw right through me

Happy No L!

I need someone to console me.

But catscan

but my cats-can.

So he can fit into his spaceship.

http://i.imgur.com/MWj4PLz.jpg

WATER p-q-r-s-t-u-v-w-x-y-z

Because they are always looking for the next x and they don’t know y.

second hand stores!

Can’t find his X, he doesn’t know Y either

Please stop asking us to find your x

She is not coming back and don’t ask y

I told the X-ray tech that dogs can’t use the more advanced imaging machines like us, but cat scan.

... E deer, F deer, G deer, H deer, I deer, J deer, K deer, L deer, M deer, N deer, P deer, Q deer, R deer, S deer, T deer, U deer, V deer, W deer, X deer, Y deer and Z deer.

Wait.. did I miss one out? O deer

No he didn't, he's only 3. And you know what else? He's not real. Just like all of these posts with click-bait titles of, "My X year old told me this", to get attention and farm karma.

If your joke is so weak that you need to invoke my-child-said-this, then just don't post.

Seriously, just stop.

Obligatory dad jokes tax:

I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck. My lawyer thinks he can get me five.

I stayed in a really old hotel last night. They sent me a wake-up letter.

‘yes but just to prove you’ve been paying attention I’d like you to recite the alphabet first’

So with his best effort the boy replies ‘A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O Q R S T U V W X Y Z’

The teacher says ‘very good but what happened to the P?’

‘Well this took so long it’s running down my leg’

So, Bill and Melinda Gates are getting a divorce She gets the house and He gets the Windows!

According to Melinda Gates, Bill just didn't Excel at his marriage. Apparently he had no Power Points while arguing, but he always had to have the last Word And now that he no longer had Access to her heart, the Outlook was not looking good for them. They couldn’t work together as Teams On the Surface they were a perfect couple, but deep down there was hardly any Kinect. He kept everything hidden like an X-Box and she never found it re- Azuring. The main reason she divorced Bill Gates because he was in Office365 days.

He’s always looking for his x, and when he isn’t he’s asking y.

So I'm having lunch with the family, and a girl walks in with a Google t shirt.

My dad leans in to me and whispers, "You should go ask that girl if she's 'searching' for you..."

Edit: told my dad about the turnout of this post during dinner and he told me he'd turn my Moto X phone into a Moto Ex phone if I kept using it during family meals. Looks like the fun never ends...

I am creating a new account on my ps3 and i don’t want to be generic in what i choose as i can’t change it after it is created so would it be possible to get some ideas of pun based usernames

And my name is sophie so anything including sophie or soph would be even better x

Her X always comes first and She doesn’t know y.

The only ones who didn't respond were the letters T, X and Y.

So W and Z ordered 23 catered meals: 2 for them and 21 for their guests.

The wedding was great, but there was trouble at the reception. The letter T came, even though she didn't RSVP.

When the meals were being passed out, the chef served the groom (W) and bride (Z) first, then asked everyone else to line up alphabetically to come get their prepared plates. As the last two letters approached the chef, he said "there must be a mistake. I only have one meal left." Just then, T grabbed the last meal, and rudely said to the other letter "Sucks to be U."

Grimes: Do you ever notice that X Æ A-12 doesn’t have that distinct baby smell? Elon: Yea, he’s got a certain musk to him.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xSf00ewCiko&feature=youtu.be&t=180

Includes all the important aspects of a good dad joke:

• Innocent setup by unsuspecting teammate
• Perfect delivery of terrible dad joke
• High five from another shameless dad nearby
• Look of severe disapproval from contest judge who can't believe you just did that in front of your entire country

First, of course, he had to take an eye sight test The optician showed him a card with letters "C Z W I X N O S T A C Z" Optician: "Can you read this?" "Read it?" the Polish man replied, "I know the guy!"

NO L, NO L, NO L, NO L, NO L, NO L...

No-el no-L

But catscan.

But catscan.

Why did A, B, C, D, F, G, H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y and Z all get sent to the principal's office?

Because they were naughty! (Not "E")

Student: A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, phosphorus, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, Z.

Teacher: How did you say phosphorus instead of L, M, N, O, and P?

Student: Because phosphorus is EL-EM-EN-TAL P.

I received A, B, C, D, F, G, H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, and Z.

I'm missing the iron E.

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Bourgeoisie.

Home A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, L, M, N, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, Z

No home o