Frank, a subordinate clause with a dangling participle, walks into a bar...

The bartender says β€œThis is the Type O Bar. We don’t serve A-positives here!”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pippingigi
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2020
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Who brings a linguist their Christmas presents?

Subordinate clause

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lawsonator85
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2021
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An overworked elf walks into a bar the day before Christmas

An overworked elf walks into a bar the day before Christmas and orders a beer. "Hey look everyone! It's an elf!" the bartender exclaims. "I'm sorry, but that phrase is now insensitive and politically incorrect," the elf says. "We prefer to be called subordinate clauses."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Firegoat1
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2020
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Santa’s helpers are technically subordinate clauses.
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πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2018
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Do you the official name of Santa’s Elves?

Subordinate Clauses

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheManCaveGamer2
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2020
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I work at the mall as Santa Claus during Christmas. I'm wearing the costume for most of the day, but sometimes my colleague takes my place while I take a break

I'm the main Claus and he's my subordinate Claus.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MokshK
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2020
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I for one, like Roman numerals
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrHarlz
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2019
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What are Santa's helpers called?

Subordinate clauses.

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2020
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What's the highest rank in the popcorn army?

Kernel

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ndemerson
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2018
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What does Santa call his little helpers?

subordinate clauses!

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2019
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I was advised to post these here. I apologize in advance.

What did members of the Politburo wear to keep cool in the summer?

A: Lenin suits

What did the Soviet General Secretary say when he slipped and fell on ice in front of the Kremlin?

A: That'll leave a Marx!

What did the Commissar say to the workers on the collective farm when they slacked off?

A: Stop Stalin and get to work!

What did the Chinese President say when he stubbed his toe?

A: Mao! That hurts!

An officer in the Iranian army is talking to a subordinate.

The officer says, "Private, I think it's gonna rain."

The private says, "You think so, sir? The sky is completely clear and the sun is shining."

20 minutes later it starts to rain, a total deluge ensues.

The private says, "That was an amazing prediction, sir!. It did rain!"

The officer looks at the private, pats him on the shoulder and says, "Private, Ayatollah you so."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/crookedletter
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2018
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A bit late but here goes anyway: what do you call the elf who checks Santa's grammar?

A subordinate claus!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/electric__frog
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2017
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Puns of Varying Quality on the Subject of Linguistics (created in a fit of procrastinative inspiration) some of which I thought someone, someday might appreciate.

Note: Quality Very Varying (I see what I did there) and sometimes subject to specialist knowledge. So I apologise in advance. Shame me with your better puns.

While I was languishing in the Language Centre, doing some semantics antics and considering how all the other linguistics students despised and derided me, I was accosted by a stout man with large glasses who made me a preposition. It was that I should collect terrible puns, to do with linguistics, in order to ingratiate myself yet further with the other linguistics students (including even the phonetics fanatics).

I'm struggling to think of a pun to do with grammaticality that both makes sense and "Is grandma tickly?" correct. I'm also stuck on 'morphologician'. (I'm not actually sure that's a particularly logical word for the subject, though I guess that's more for, er, more for a logician to worry about.)

The problem I have with writing about phonological variation is that one is constantly forced to choose between being fun or logical - very Asian!I always get in trouble with electricians, they think I'm calling them a 'dialectician' whereas in fact I'm just saying "Die, electrician."

I like pscycholinguistics – the only department of linguistics where it’s acceptable to wear a cycle helmet. My Australian accent is terrible but I like to think my Sath Efrican one is predicate. My favourite accent is Received Pronunciation, because it is the accent chiefly used by invisible Japanese people who are ordered online. When the first recipient of an invisible Japanese person got the parcel, they wrote a complaint saying "Received but can't see Asian" and the name stuck.

Why did the speakers whose native languages weren't English, but whose only shared language was English, but they weren't very good at it and kept on having to stop to think about it, stop talking to one another? They came to an agreement. (Get it? If not, write your answer on a pastecard and paste it to the below address.)

What did the 'a' say to the 'the'? "You definitely are ticklish, 'the'!"

Why was the small man eaten by the large bear, which was proportionately bigger than him? It had, er, relative claws.

I think the reason there are so many speakers of Russian is because they all partake in an activity called "copulae shun". (Ok, ok, I know, that was Pushkin it.)

I know a man called Hillary who can, might, should, did, must, shall and will ride an ox. We call him "Ox Hillary".

I always think the verb 'to be' in the senten

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kieuk
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2011
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We were talking about getting things done quickly...

Me: We have a short deadline, will you please help ensure this gets done on time for our client?

Subordinate: Alright, GenAric, I am going to be rushin' to get this done.

Me: Well, you can be Russian... I prefer to stay American.

Subordinate: Did I just get dad joked?

Me: grin

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GenAric
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2014
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Santa's little helpers

What do you call Santa's little helpers?

Subordinate Clauses.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GanZheng
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2018
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What do you call Santa's helpers?

Subordinate clauses

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πŸ‘€︎ u/marty___mcfly
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2018
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What do you call Santa's little helpers?

Subordinate Clauses! Merry Christmas

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MinorMynah
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2017
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What are Santa’s little helpers called?

Subordinate clauses.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2018
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