Sting Me Puns

Me: the reason why I'm asking is that you are a member of the Police

Officer: please, Don't stand so close to me

Every breath I take, Every move I make, Every bond I break, Every step I take, They are watching me. Every single day, Every word I say, Every game I play, Every night I stay, They are watching me. Every move I make, Every vow I break, Every smile I fake, Every claim I stake, They are watching me. Every move I make, Every vow I break, Every smile I fake, Every claim I stake, They are watching me

With friends like that, who needs anemones?

Sting told me to stop bothering him.

The man asks "is this good for wasps?"

The cashier says "no sir, it kills them"

Me: Why can’t Mirabel be in the photo her dad is and he’s normal? My son: He is special. His gift is being a Beasting Dad Me: Huh? My son: Get it cuz he gets stung by bees a lot? Bee Sting Dad??

"Don't worry;" says the doctor, "I'll put some cream on it."

"You will never find that bee. It must be miles away by now."

"No, you don't understand!" answers the doctor, "I'll put some cream on the place you were stung."

"Oh! It happened in the garden in back of my house."

"No, no, no!" says the doctor getting frustrated, "I mean on which part of your body did that bee sting you."

"On my finger!" screamed the man in pain. "The bee stung me on my finger and it really hurts."

"Which one?" the doctor.

"How am I supposed to know? All bees look the same to me!"

I had a little mishap with a pruning saw in the yard and asked my wife to patch my finger up. She's a nurse, so I figured she'd dress my wound better than I could. She started off with cleaning up the cut with a betadine swab.
Wife: "This might sting a little bit."
Me: Yup. Yup that stings.
Wife: Sing a song. It'll take your mind off of it.
Me: "Roooooxanne, you don't have to put on the red light, Those days are over you don't have to sell your body to the night..."
Wife: sideways look
Me: "Roooooxanne, you don't have to wear that dress tonight, Walk the streets for money you don't care if it's wrong or if it's right..."
Wife: sideways look
Me: "You know who sings that, right?"
Wife: "Yeah, the Police."
Me: "Who and the Police?"
Wife: "Sting?"
Me: "Yes it does."

They only listen to the Bee-side.

Bonus: what would be the perfect line-up for a bee concert?

The Beegees, Sting and Queen.

Bonus 2: Bees' favorite Spice Girls song?

Wannabee.

Bonus 3: Favorite classical artist?

Ludwig van Beethoven.

Bonus 4: Favorite cartoon?

Beevis and Buzzhead.

I'll stop now, before everyone flies off the handle and tells me to buzz off.

Son: "Dad, today at school, me and two friends got chased by 3 bees, 3 wasps, 3 mosquitoes and 3 yellow jackets."

Me: "Was it a sting operation?"

Me: Did it sting you?

Son: No

Me: Well at least it bee hived itself

Son: Daaaaaaddd, that is not funny

I'm 17 and live with my parents, and my sister, niece, and nephew (who is 6) were over for dinner tonight, and we were talking about grades.
Me: I think I have a B in AP Biology.
Nephew: I got a B once.
Dad: Did it sting you?
Us: -_-