Statesmen Quartet Puns

Do your worst!

Commentary by Prof. E. M., historian and archivist (Ginzberg University, 2021): This recently-discovered unpublished text was written by Safiye of Smyrna. Also known as “Safiye the Storyteller” or “Safiye Scheherazade,” Safiye of Smyrna was the most famous storytelling-girl of the 17th-century Ottoman court, and a seminal figure in the history of folklore and popular literature. Storytelling-girls (in Arabic, “qiyan” or “jariyah”; in Turkish, “cariye”) like Safiye would write notes like this to practice spinning tales, and to use as a script to rehearse and practice their performances. She considered herself to be an ascetic-concubine in the manner of the 8th-century Rabia Basri; however, in keeping with the trends in Sufi literature of her time and culture, she tended to explore spiritual themes through humour and satire rather than through Basri’s solemn style.

Safiye had a reputation as an ambitious woman, but she never had much interest in politics; whereas other harem-girls competed for the Sultan’s affection, Safiye aspired only to make her name as a great storyteller, poetess, musician, and literateur. She was a favourite of Bilqis Sultan (the Haseki mentioned in this story), who considered her a friend and a confidant. In fact, Bilqis was largely responsible for Safiye’s success; she granted Safiye generous patronage, funded the publication of her work in print, invited her to perform at court functions, employed her as a tutor of the Imperial princes and princesses, and so on. It is odd that Safiye would write a tale so unflattering towards her most important patron, especially if her intended audience was Bilqis’s rivals in the Harem.

Was Safiye secretly involved in some conspiracy against Bilqis Sultan? Personally, I think it’s unlikely; aside from this one text, there is little evidence to suggest that. Still, this newly-discovered story from her personal diaries complicates our historical understanding of Safiye of Smyrna, one of the most well-known and well-loved authors and musicians of the time.

Some Idle Gossip, shared by a Lady to amuse her Friends in the Harem:

Oh, how I hate gossip! A wicked, wicked sin it is; so deplorable, in fact, that in the Noble Qur’an, our Exalted Creator likens it to eating the flesh of one’s own dead brother! May Allah the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful forgive us and protect us from gossipping, and may He protect us from the flesh-eaters.

Indeed, I abhor gossip; but very well, yo

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

Pilot on me!!

Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.

This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.

If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.

Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.

They’re on standbi

What did 0 say to 8 ?

" Nice Belt "

So What did 3 say to 8 ?

" Hey, you two stop making out "

I won't be doing that today!

You take away their little brooms

This morning, my 4 year old daughter.

Daughter: I'm hungry

Me: nerves building, smile widening

Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.

She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.

Thank you all for listening.

There hasn't been a post all year!

It’s pronounced “Noel.”

After all his first name is No-vac

What, then, is Chinese rap?

Edit:

Notable mentions from the comments:

• Spanish/Swedish/Swiss/Serbian hits

• French/Finnish art

• Country/Canadian rap

• Chinese/Country/Canadian rock

• Turkish/Tunisian/Taiwanese rap

There hasn't been a single post this year!

(Happy 2022 from New Zealand)

Bob

So that I could frequently say, "I am going to walk 5 miles now."

Edit: My most popular post on Reddit! 😀 Thank you for the awards.

Just to clarify, 12345678

Me grabbing a soda from my (what I thought was) half full 12pk...

Notices there's only 2;

Me: "Awe man... This is a damn bird box!" Her: "What the hell does that mean?!" Me: (Pulls both cans out & shows them to her) "It's only got Toucans."

I'm not ashamed to admit the look on her face was glorious.

I was just sitting there doing nothing.

“BOOM”?!

"That's what they're fighting about."

Because his Visa didn’t work.

free

A happy Uncle.....

"Beauty, because beauty is in the eye of the bee-holder!"

I’d never seen him be 4.

Ice-olation.

She's only eleven and says she came up with that by herself. I'm so proud 😭😭😭

Because the audience only responds in a low ha

"No, it doesn't."

We couldn't afford a dog...