Spoon And Fork Puns

He called it Mister Spork.

I just woke up one day and didn't see the point anymore.

I found plenty of spoons and knives but I didn't stop, until I hit a fork in the road

Some guy waring silver drawers came up to me and told me to go fork myself. That wasn't very knife of him to say but spoon I shall get my revenge.

"Dad, neither of us are having anything that needs a knife. Why do you always grab one anyway?"

"A fork and a spoon just don't cut it."

and spooning lead to forking. Afterwards, I asked her why the teeth on sporks are so small. She said she didn't know so I said it is because they are tine-y.

Family: eating food

Brother and Sister arguing about who sits where

Me: Hey, both of you shut the fork up!

Dad looks at me proudly and smiles

Dad: Hey, that wasn't very knife

laughs and smiles at him

Me: What, too spoon?

mom just sighs and leaves the table and brother and sister stop the arguing

Saw someone I know that posted this on Facebook. They were on a road trip and they said to their dad, "Dad, keep left at the fork." And their dad replied, "Ok, what about the spoons and the knives?"

Our toddler is learning about opposites, but some concepts are proving trickier than others.

My wife: "I just don't understand why he can't tell the difference between a fork and a spoon."

Me: "it's a tricky distinction. Just give him some tine."

We were cuddling and I turn away a little bit because it's super hot in her room, but she pulls me back and says "come back, I like spooning".

My reply: "Honey, I like spooning as much as I like forking, but it's just too hot to do either of those things right now."

I saw a friend of mine said, "You know my uncle Charlie? Well, he's in the hospital. Some dude robbed him and he got knifed!"

I said, "Damn! That's forking terrible!"

He said, "Hey! It's too spoon to say that!"

Chinese dude here.

Every time we have dinner with extended family, we'll have a whole steamed fish as one of the courses.

My dad will usually be the person to cut up and distribute the fish among the family.

Every time he does that, he'll use the spoon and fork to make the fish mouth "thunder, thunder, THUNDERCATS! HOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" before cutting up the fish followed by this shit-eating grin around the table. No one above the age of 14 laughs.

The younger cousins find this funny and that's probably why my dad keeps doing it every freaking time.

Just my dad's thing.

The other night we were out to dinner. I picked up my silverware and told my daughter, "you know, I used to play the spoons in the forkestra, but I wasn't very good, so I got cut." She laughed, wife rolled her eyes, mission accomplished.