Spilled Drink Puns

I got punched.

"This is a Macbook Air not a Macbook Water."

Rag time

Yoo-hoo hoo in a bottle of rum!

It was a real tragi-tea!

The man says:" doctor, my hands don't stop shaking."

The doctor asked:"have you been drinking?"

Then the man replied:"no, I can't, because I spill all of it. "

A joke my dad told me

The kid kept screaming, screeching poorly-articulated profanities at the disinterested father. Over the screaming chaos, the father managed to order a water for himself, and an orange juice for his kid. The waitress came by with the drink, and within moments the kid smashed his cup onto the floor out of pure, unaimed toddler rage, spilling the drink all over the floor and the waitress.

The father apologized, but asked if the gremlin could still have a second orange juice, hoping the kid would miraculously calm down. The waitress conceded despite the terribly behaved toddler, and returned to the shrieking zone with a second orange juice. She had forgotten to clean up the puddle of orange juice however, and slipped. The cup of juice went straight into the kid's face, and like a fire extinguisher to a flame, the kid just went silent, as if a lesson had been learned. Everyone in the restaurant looked at the table in silence.

Juice twice had finally been served.

I've been sick with a fever for the last few days.

I was trying to get a drink from a water bottle, but I tilted it up too far and spilled it all over myself. I thought, "Great. Not only am I sick, but now I have a drinking problem."

Guy spilled his drink all over my buddy on a long flight. So weve come up with a few. Spilliam Shatner, Spilly Idol etc.

So last night I was at the movies with a few friends, seeing the Jungle Book. At one point during the movie, my friend Faith got up to get a refill on her popcorn and drink. When she got back, she complained to me that she tripped on the stairs and spilled her popcorn that she just had refilled. I looked her in the eye and said, "I guess you could say you Faith-planted".

I'd say, "Dad, I'm gonna go take a shower!" His response, "Why? Is one missing?"

My dad taught me early on that the phrase je t'adore in French translates to I love you. He also mentioned that je t'adore sounds (a little bit) like shut the door if you said it kinda quickly. So anytime someone tells my dad to "shut the door" he'd respond with, "I love you too!"

Not technically my dad, but still a dad. Every time my grandpa came to town when I was a kid after not seeing me for a little while, without fail, the first thing out of his mouth was, "Look at you, you gruesome child! You know, you grew some, child." I think the fact that he explained it every time was what really irked me.

Last time my dad knocked over his soda and it spilled all over his lap he immediately looked up at me grinning, "Well I guess drinks are on me tonight!"

He was drinking chocolate milk and apparently was taking as sip as I accelerated. He was mad that I made him spill it on himself and started to cry. As soon as I came to a stop, I looked him straight in the eyes and said "Son, there is no need to cry over spilled milk."

We're hanging out at the bar, and she accidentally drops her drink and spills it everywhere.

> Her: "I guess I've got a drinking problem" (solid Airplane reference)
Me: "Well, you clearly can't hold your liquor."

spills water down myself when drinking

Me: “Sorry, I have a drinking problem”

Her: “Hahahaha”

forget her dad has drinking problem

Me: “That is such a dad joke”

silence is deafening