Trying my hardest to heal here and this damn book tells me I have to change my physical appearance to keep him from cheating. "Go to the salon" etc. Ok-- so I did all that, changed my hair color like he asked, wore the clothes he wanted me to wear, etc and he STILL did it anyway? What is the difference between this advice and the pick-me dance? Isn't changing your appearance and all just a piss poor strategy of trying to control the WS's actions? How can you start off the book by telling the BS that it wasn't their fault the infidelity occurred but them tell them it's their responsibility to keep the WS captivated at all times or else?
Look-- I am all for maintaining/improving yourself and not "letting yourself go." I do go to the gym, etc-- but my WS doesn't keep enough money in the account for me to get my hair dyed or to get the boob job he would want me to have. I'm exhausted
Just because you may not have use for a hammer when beginning a project doesnβt mean you should throw out the whole toolbox! What doesnβt work today may be essential once youβve succeeded in tackling certain steps or specific issues.
Previously, breath work and such seemed completely useless, but after getting the right mix of medications down and beginning EMDR, the various tools i at first rejected have been monumental in terms of capitalizing on my progress.
Stockpile the things that arenβt working YET for when they may one day become an important part of your repertoire!
Hello lovely community, this past year I discovered sound healing - the power of sound to regulate and calm my nervous system. It has changed my life and I am committed so sharing this with more people. My ultimate aim is to work with other therapists but am looking to better understand the kind of person who is drawn to this experience. The protocol involves listening to modulated music with over-the-ear headphones for 1o days spread over two weeks. Because of how powerful it is, we meet on zoom to listen, and I am there as a facilitator in case anyone needs co-regulation. I will present on the protocol so you know more about what it is, how it works - but looking to find some people outside of my personal network.
Let me know if sound therapy helps you? Would you like to listen to a frequency sound to heal your mind- explore youtube account KDmoon to hear these sounds.
