Im sorry pun police
πŸ‘︎ 82
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πŸ‘€︎ u/supersem_2004
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2019
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I told my boss, β€œSorry I’m late. I was having computer issues.”

Boss: Hard drive?

Me: No, the commute was fine. It’s my laptop.

πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2020
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Sorry if this is a repost
πŸ‘︎ 111
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πŸ‘€︎ u/gdrumy88
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2021
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I'm so sorry.
πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hot_controller
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2020
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The barman says, β€œSorry, we don’t serve faster-than-light particles in here.”

A faster-than-light particle walks into a bar.

πŸ‘︎ 276
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πŸ‘€︎ u/snrckrd
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2020
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[oc sorry] What do you call a Jedi with anxiety?

Panakin Skywalker.

πŸ‘︎ 49
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RoscoeMG
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2021
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Sorry I've been so quiet here today. I've been keeping a close eye on the local news. Apparently there's a lad going around stabbing people with knitting needles.

Police say he may be following a pattern.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pdarigan
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2021
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I was bored, sorry
πŸ‘︎ 31
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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Majestic
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2020
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Doctor: I'm sorry but we have to remove half of your colon

Me; What?

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/gssn-nospace
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2021
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Sorry New York Jets, but you just can’t score touchdowns.

No offense.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/zedhead0628
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2021
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I stole this, sorry for the Roblox base
πŸ‘︎ 85
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Perkele1974
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2020
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Our dog has been a little under the weather so we took him in for a checkup. The vet picked him up, studied him for a bit, sighed and said, "I'm really sorry, but I'm gonna have to put him down." Tears welling in my eyes I sputtered, "Why!? What's wrong with him?"

The vet replied, "Nothing major, he's just really heavy!"

πŸ‘︎ 86
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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2020
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Prisoner: "I'm sorry I tried to escape. "

Guard: "I'm not mad. Just very disappointed. "

REMEMBER KIDS....NEVER LET YOUR GUARD DOWN.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2021
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Mernards. Sorry if this is a repost
πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RagefulRobin
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2020
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I’m sorry about posting another joke about Trump’s hair

But he had hell toupee

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PhoKit2
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2021
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I'm really sorry
πŸ‘︎ 71
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πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2020
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Sorry if offensive

What do you call a German who can’t see

A notsee

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OwnSpecialist8
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2020
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Ok m sorry to let everyone at r/dadjokes down.

I haven’t been able to tell a single dad joke all year

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jangooni
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2021
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I just thought of this today as I was driving... I’m sorry in advance πŸ˜‚ I saw this sign the other day, and it had rounded edges

It was kinda pointless...

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BooperdDooper48
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2020
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Dad: Sorry son I’m all out of dad jokes

Son: I thought your name was dad?

Dad: Well played.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mm401
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2020
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I'm sorry, I couldn't get this out of my head
πŸ‘︎ 42
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Demon69-420
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2020
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Sorry this is a day late, but I made a Christmas Puns advent calendar from QR codes and I wanted to share it with everyone. pdfhost.io/v/TQuSCzy.W_Ad…
πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Leron4551
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2020
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I’m sorry
πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jjshow2006
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2020
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Doctor: Here is your newborn baby but we are sorry that your wife didn’t make it

Me: Please bring me the one my wife made

πŸ‘︎ 91
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sorry4ThisBut
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2020
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Sorry guys , I just lost my Virg-
πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ananay83
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2020
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Sorry this isn’t really a joke but I wanted to say thanks

I just wanted to thank everyone here. My mom has been in the hospital with the virus and being able to send her jokes from here has made her laugh (we both really like puns!) so I just wanted to thank y’all for the fun jokes you post. I know it doesn’t seem like much but it has been very nice to be able to share them with her!

Edit: thank you so much for the awards and well wishes! I 100% did not expect this to blow up like it did and I’m so glad for y’all’s support!!

πŸ‘︎ 16k
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πŸ“…︎ May 23 2020
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Sorry
πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2020
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Nurse: Sorry for the waiting

My dad: No problem, I'm patient

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jacobwyc
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2020
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Sorry for self promotion.
πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/2JZ_LUV
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2020
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"Sorry I'm late" said the broom

"I over swept"

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrWulf360
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2020
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Rope walks into the bar. Bartender says, Sorry we don’t serve ropes here. Rope walks out, messes himself up, ties himself in a knot, and walks back into the bar. Bartender asked if he’s a rope!

Rope replies I’m a frayed knot.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FalseBlood8746
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2020
🚨︎ report
I am so sorry OP.
πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Stormbreaker636
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2020
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I answered the door today and a police officer said "I'm sorry, but it looks like your wife has been in a car accident."

I replied "yeah, but at least she has a nice personality."

πŸ‘︎ 42
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BinaryPeach
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2020
🚨︎ report
Man: I’m so sorry I’m late for my ship cleaning job. What are my responsibilities?

Boss: You mist the boat.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2020
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I’m sorry for such a miserable post
πŸ‘︎ 56
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ghost_Reaper123
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2020
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I feel sorry for girls in wheelchairs

Their boyfriends are always pushing them around and talking behind their backs.

πŸ‘︎ 45
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Strange_An0maly
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2020
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I feel sorry for my math teacher.

He’s always looking for his x, and when he isn’t he’s asking y.

πŸ‘︎ 43
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DestroyatronMk8
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2020
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sorry
πŸ‘︎ 28
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Snorumobiru
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2020
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I just wanted to show people one of my favorite tweets by SMII7Y (If this is a repost I am sorry)
πŸ‘︎ 63
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πŸ‘€︎ u/2worldSins
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Sorry to ruin your day

What is the difference between a weasel and a stoat?

A weasel is weasely wecognized and a stoat is stoatilly different

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/discosatan71
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2020
🚨︎ report
I heard this i while back don’t remember where its from, sorry if it seems butchered(longish)

One day a loving husband and father of 2 sons comes home, one of the sons asks him to come upstairs, so he comes upstairs and his son saysβ€œdad, im gay” the father, surprised says β€œwell, okay, i still support you son”.
The next day the father comes home to his other son asking him to come upstairs, he goes and the son also comes out as gay, the loving father says β€œboth you and your brother, i wont have any kids, but, i still support you”........ ........ ........ ........ ........ ........ The father then walks down stairs to go and play with the family dog(male) and finds him in the backyard humping the neighbors(also male) dog. The father walks back into the house and exclaims β€œDoes anyone in this house like women”.
His wife taps him on the sholder

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Zeek7Br-Ba
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2020
🚨︎ report
The doctor was taking a while so he said: Sorry for the wait

I respond: no problem I’m patient

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dragonflame716
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2020
🚨︎ report
I'm sorry to report that I lost both my feet to diabetes

I feel so defeeted.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/uneeq33
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2020
🚨︎ report
Sorry guys, this joke blows
πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/habsfan1112
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2020
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I'm sorry, but I'm extremely proud of this one, and nobody in the chat found it funny =(
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ennis88
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2020
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I'm sorry
πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/biom12
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2020
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Doctor: I'm sorry, but I had to remove your colon

Me why?

πŸ‘︎ 17k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/professorf
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2020
🚨︎ report
Prisoner: "I am sorry, I tried to escape."

Guard: "I'm not mad, just disappointed."

(Remember kids, never let your guard down)

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2020
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A hotdog walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender replies, "Sorry, we dont serve food here".
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2020
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