I guess nobody Reddit.
Which was really strange, since I'd thought that I had left her at home looking after the kids.
A trophy
Bought-a-Bing, Bought-a-boom
They both got six months.
Married
But I have no idea how to tell if a lemon is in a relationship or not
Question: What about Married one?
State-of-the-Ark technology
Now that I listen to full albums, I hardly ever leave the house.
He was sailing on the seven C’s
Age 6 they were separated in a successful 13hr surgery. Later in life they went to prison for armed robbery. They served 10yrs. Afterwards they wrote their book about being ex-con joined twins.
He scored a home run every single at bat, and always the exact same way. Way over right field, too high for anyone to reach, and it always landed in exactly the 17th row of the stands, give or take a couple feet.
He earned the nickname “the machine” for how consistently he hit the exact same spot every time. Right field, 17th row, every single time. He did this for 20 years before he retired. Tickets to the 2-3 seats that the ball always landed on sold for over $2k a pop by the time he retired because you were guaranteed at least a couple home run balls.
And the day he retired a reporter asked him “How does it feel to be retiring as the greatest hitter of all time?”
Hugh just looked at the reporter puzzled. “What do you mean?” He said.
The reporter clarified “literally over 5,000 times you went to the plate and hit a home run to right field, 17th row of the stands!”
Hugh looked dejected and disappointed “yeah, my greatest failure...”
“What do you mean?” Said the reporter incredulously.
Hugh let’s out a long sigh, and looked down at the ground quietly for a moment before finally speaking.
“I’ve been aiming left this whole time”
She responded, “ because you are ugly!”
“...cereal killer.”
He painted loads of them
...that only happens once in a blue moon.
And it makes it easier to slam the door and run so I don’t have to pay for dinner.
He was absolutely delighted.
But I don’t see what’s wrong with being a cereal monogamist.
Yes my horse is a Mustang and it mustang somewhere!
That's alot of information to swallow.
We are in a very serious relationship.
Then I started listening to full albums, and hardly ever left my room.
They're all married with children.....
A chill pill.
She was giving my niece (3) and nephew (6) a bath. When they were done, the kids used their towels as capes and were running around naked yelling 'we are super heroes!!' My sister responded with, 'I don't think think there are any naked superheroes... Except maybe The Flash.'
A receding hare line.
I guess I'm just looking for love in all the wrong paces.
“Because you’re ugly.”
I think he wanted s'more.
He kept missing his punchlines.
"Slayer?"
"No, I just shook my head."
They're my 9 to 5.
In my opinion we should beat the shit out of constipated people because:
-
Laxatives are an unhealthy way of dealing with feces. On the other hand, beating the shit out of someone is a good way to practice sports activities like, running, grip strength, punching techniques etc.
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Other methods of dealing with feces take alot of money. Laxatives aren't cheap in our flawed healthcare system! On the other hand, there are people that are willing to pay you to beat the shit out of you. By using this method you can become richer and deal with your shitty problems.
-
Constipation requires being in the bathroom for a long time. This can be very lonely for the people involved. However, beating the shit out of others can be done in any place. Your home, the local park, or even the shady street corner! Not only that it's a very social activity, requiring a minimum of at least 2 people, but usually done in groups of 2-5 people.
Although some people might say, that beating the shit out of each other is violent, most of them have never been to a public toilet and hence are unable to realize how much more painful and violent the alternative is.
In summery, beating the shit out of people is a good, legitimate, and affordable alternative to laxatives and is a better, more progressive way, to deal with constipation.
They never ate an undercooked bat.
Then you've never eaten an undercooked bat before.
I am glad that I am not a fully grown elephant
The zookeeper told me it was bread in captivity.
He was a Marshal artist.
A trophy!!!
