Separable State Puns

The punanimous Declaration of the thirteen United States of Pun-merica, When in the Course of human pun-ventures, it becomes necessary for one people to loosen the comical bands which have connected them with another, and to assume among the wits of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Yaws of Pun-Nature and of Nature's Pun entitle them, a decent respect to the punchlines of mankind requires that they should declare the pun-riddled causes which propel them to the separation.

We hold these puns to be self-evident, that all wordplay is created equal, that they are endowed by their Pun-ator with certain un-pun-able Rights, among these are Life, Linguistic-erty and the pursuit of Puntasticness.--That to secure these rights, Pun-ernments are playfully instituted among Puns, deriving their just laughter from the consent of the amused, --That whenever any Form of Pun-ernment becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Write of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to pull out new Wordmanship, laying its fun-dation on such punster principles and organizing its powers in such playful form as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Laugh-ety and Happiness. Prun-dence, indeed, will dictate that Pun-ernments long established should not be changed for pun-light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shown, that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while pun-evils are sufferable, than to set-write themselves by abolishing the language forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long laugh-track of abuses and usurp-puns, pursuing invariably the same Pun-jectives evince a design to reduce them under absolute Pun-potism, it is their right, it is their pun-ty, to chuckle off such Word-rule, and to provide new Punderful Guards for their pun-ture posterity.--Such has been the pun-ient sufferance of these Pun-olonies; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former Systems of Punnery. The history of the present Pun-King of Great Pun-Ain is a history of repeated punchlines and usurp-puns, all having in jest the establishment of an absolute Pun-ranny over these States. To prove this, let Facts be fun-bmitted to a candid whirl of wordplay.

Slightly long story. Tl:dr had to blurt out a couple of quick Dad Jokes today and nailed it.

Longer version I was wearing my favorite shirt today, in big letters it says: “DAD JOKES: that’s how EYE ROLL”… we were ate a state park with a lake, nice family spot. Near the parking lot at a busy trail crossing on our way in some random guy says “I used to work at the Pepsi factory but I got canned.” It took me a beat or two to realize he was talking to me, our groups had passed each other so I turned back and said “I got fired from the orange juice factory. I couldn’t concentrate!” Everyone laughed and off we went.

Hours later on our way back to the parking lot, same trail crossing. Random (different) guy turns to me and says “Why did Norway put barcodes on the side of their ships?” Ready for that one (thanks r/dadjokes) I respond with “So they can Scandinavian!” The pressure is on, so I turned back and said “What’s a pirates favorite letter?” He says “Arrr” of course. I said “What’s his second favorite letter?” No answer so I give them “P - because it’s like R but is missing a leg!”

Everyone laughs, as we go our separate ways I heard someone in their group say “Oh, he was good!” Perfect day!

Thanks for listening, I just had to share. Always be ready with a couple quick ones!

It's due to the separation of birch and state.

I asked, "Why do you care about the NSA monitoring church gatherings?"

He retorted, "Well, separation of church and state."