How did Vikings send secret messages?

Norse code

πŸ‘︎ 349
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Blindeye0505
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2020
🚨︎ report
Send me a message if you want to build a boat...

I Noah guy.

πŸ‘︎ 30
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/andersonfmly
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Not a joke per se, but definitely fits - I texted my daughter "in a bottle" and then waited for her to ask "what's this I don't get it. How come out of the blue you just randomly send me the message 'in a...' ... I hate you"

Had potential to misfire but worked perfectly.

Also, the other day my wife left a Monster energy drink under her bed, and we waited for her to come and ask "ok who put this monster under my bed?"

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/evilbrent
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2019
🚨︎ report
When you send a picture of a newborn and your messages app says β€œdelivered”
πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VaiterZen
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2019
🚨︎ report
How do spies send secret messages in the forest?

Moss code

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Gl3nnsth3man
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the new fabric that can send text messages?

It's immaterial.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/hotsprings1234
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2019
🚨︎ report
When you mess up a coded message and have to send it again

Re morse

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FlyScript
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2018
🚨︎ report
My dad finally found he can send jokes via text message. Someone kill me now.

My pop just dropped this one via text message:

I used Red Bull instead of water to make my coffee this morning... Got half way to work before I realized I forgot my car.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/XKMLP
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2013
🚨︎ report
People ask me why I still work as a mailman,on such low salary.

I tell them : "Its not about the money; Its about sending a message"

πŸ‘︎ 48
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/rhshi14
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2021
🚨︎ report
I’ll tell you a corona virus joke now...

But you will have to wait two weeks to see if you got it.

Edit: Thanks for the gold!

πŸ‘︎ 881
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Zuckerschneggle
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2020
🚨︎ report
Spooktober!?
πŸ‘︎ 7k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/rym2031g
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2019
🚨︎ report
Who led the Jewish people across a semi permeable membrane?

Os-Moses.

πŸ‘︎ 11k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2019
🚨︎ report
Spring is in the air
πŸ‘︎ 23k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2019
🚨︎ report
Atoms
πŸ‘︎ 1k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Lynderzfarm
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2019
🚨︎ report
Can any body help me?

Can anyone help? There’s a bloke in this subreddit who calls himself Buster and he’s driving me mad with constant private messages. Day after day he sends me youtube videos of 70’s glam rockers The Sweet. Does anyone know the way, there's got to be a way to block Buster.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/shady7977
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2020
🚨︎ report
Dad Jokes

It was a brisk Saturday morning when Gerald arrived at β€œThe CafΓ©,” a hip coffee shop right down the street. Wearing his large, burly black coat, he stared hesitantly at his watch. Thick glasses adorned his bright blue eyes, his gaze like starlight in a clear night sky. He was waiting, intently twiddling his thumbs. After a buzz of his phone, the message from Dad popped up: β€œParking now, be there in 5.”

β€œDad,” he whispered under his breath, swiping the message away to once again reveal the image on his lock-screen: a hazy picture of an ultrasound.

Gerald had not spoken to his father for three years. They had had a falling out, over which he did not remember. To him it was a competition of who could wait the longest without calling or sending a text. Who could wait the longest: him without a father, or his father without a son? The idea of friction in the relationship hurt like a thorn; piercing his soul more and more everyday. Until recently, out of the blue, β€œDad” popped up on his phone. The rest is history. The rest leads to that Saturday morning, at The CafΓ©.

Bang! A car door rang out not too far from where Gerald stood. Gerald saw him. His father wore his tweed jacket like a coat of armor. His strut was now weaker than before they stopped talking; a weakness evident in his cane which supported every right step. His shortly trimmed white beard juxtaposed against his uncut, curly grey hair gave him the image of a wise wizard from a fairytale. He used to be that figure to Gerald, yet instead of a nice ancient being acting like a stone to keep him grounded, Gerald had felt as though his father was a rock pulling him deeper and deeper into a sea of monotony. Holding him back from his true potential. Maybe that was why he left? He still did not know.

β€œHello, son,” came the withered voice Gerald had sook for so long, yet now that it had arrived wanted to avoid. β€œI can’t believe it’s been so long!”

β€œYeah,” said Gerald, allowing a smile to grace his face. β€œToo long!”

Then they hugged, signifying a change in their relationship. Gerald had hoped something could happen to bring them closer together. He did not want to go on wondering what could have been. The regret and sadness weighed him down. Before starting a new family, Gerald wanted to be reacquainted with his own.

After finding their table and sitting down, the two began to discuss life. It was like old friends catching up after a long break. Although it took some time, Gerald began to warm u

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sullyrr
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2020
🚨︎ report
A person asked a mailman, β€œwhy do you work as a mailman, it gives so little money?”

The mailman responds β€œIt’s not about the money, it’s about sending a message”

πŸ‘︎ 93
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bambiartistic
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2020
🚨︎ report
Obi wan and Anakin meet at a force ghost party.

Obi wan: Okay Anakin, answer this. Imagine, I am on a planet, very far away from yours. And I was out of range of all forms of communication.

Anakin: Okay...and?

Obi wan: And there was an urgent message, that you had to send me. How would you send it, when no messaging service would get to me?

Anakin: Simple. I would send it with sand. It gets everywhere.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Clone_Writer
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2020
🚨︎ report
How do you find Will Smith in the snow?

You look for the fresh prints

πŸ‘︎ 3k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Drakesfjord
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2016
🚨︎ report
We have a new design! What do you guys think about it?

Hey, since we (the new mods) joined the sub 1,5 months ago we've made some changes, mostly with the rules and some backend stuff. Now I also updated the icon (slightly) and the banner (on redesign and mobile), too.

What do you guys think about it?

Do you like it? ( Yes/No ). What could be improved about it?

Also, are you happy with how we're moderating the subreddit? Are we too strict with the rules or toulouse too loose? Do the rules even make sense?

We want to improve this subreddit and we need your feedback for that, so feel free to speak your mind!

You can either simply leave a comment down here in the thread or send us a message.

Looking forward to your feedback and have a nice day! :)

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/yayoletsgo
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2019
🚨︎ report
Texted my family a post on the front page and my dad shot back with this. Should have seen it coming
πŸ‘︎ 1k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/curly_Q
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2013
🚨︎ report
Honey Story

I hadn't put my own picture up on my dating profile, just a picture of my pickup. But that's okay, because she'd just put a picture of her dog. I sent her a message, something almost-clever like "your dog can ride in my pickup any time," and she responded.

We clicked pretty quickly, and started chatting regularly. Every day, sometimes throughout the day. Slowly we learned more about each other. Her dog's name was Daisy. My truck's name was Dodge Ram (I apologized for my lack of creativity). She was a CPA. I was a beekeeper.

And at this, she stumbled. "If we ever meet in real-life, I want you to know that I could never date a beekeeper." But we were still far away from that point, so it was moot.

But time went on, and we gradually became closer to that point. More personal information. What firm she worked for. Where my farm was. Names of relatives. Names of high schools. All the things that just come up in conversation eventually if you talk to someone long enough.

But, oddly, after all this time, neither of us had thought to send any pictures. Until one day I got a message from her: "I never thought I'd say this, but I really do want to meet you in person. I think we have a rare connection, and I don't want to squander it. I want to send you my picture, and I want you to send me yours, but I'm telling you, I can never date a beekeeper."

I couldn't imagine a life without my bees. But I also couldn't imagine a life without her. Tentatively, reluctantly, I clicked on the image attached to her message.

Then I saw her face. Now I'm a bee leaver.

πŸ‘︎ 38
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/fishamaphone
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2018
🚨︎ report
PSA: don't forget the " took you a year to respond" joke.

Now that 2019 is around the corner, you can achieve ultimate dad stats by sending a message to your contacts near the end of 2018. Then, send "Why did you wait a year to respond ?".

This only works once a year so be prepared.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MegaDankAccount
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2018
🚨︎ report
So I dadjoked the hell out of my dadjoking boss

My boss is a good guy and a good boss, but he always says the same 5 or so jokes (he has two young kids). Anytime he pulls up to a job that we've been working on its "you aren't done yet?" or its "great job, but why are they upside down". Every time someone walks up to a job they get a loud "shhhh, here they come". I can go on and on, he has comedy routines for almost every situation.

So that's what I have to deal with.

Last weekend he took a mini-vacation, and brought me back a bottle of hot sauce (I'm something of a heatseeker) and the bottle was layer with all sorts of sexual innuendo that it'll get you hard and great at sex.

The other day I send him a text message around lunch time that only said "I have to go to the emergency room." Not 30 seconds pass and I get a phone call from him.

Boss: "What happened?"

Me: "Well, this morning I put some of that hot sauce you gave me on my eggs, and I've had an erection lasting more than four hours."

Boss: dryly "Ha. Ha. Haaa."

Meanwhile my coworker is dying of laughter and I'm trying to keep it together.

I've told everyone about this the past couple days.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ejh3k
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2019
🚨︎ report
I asked my boyfriend for a new water pitcher...

He sends me a text message with a picture of running water in our sink.

πŸ‘︎ 125
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/phantomcellphone
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2016
🚨︎ report
Girlfriend hit me with a classic one

Trying to send a flirty message, I sent her "They call me SjaakAfhaak, but you can call me tonight ;)".

To which she replied: "Hi tonight!"

I think I should keep her

πŸ‘︎ 169
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SjaakAfhaak
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2017
🚨︎ report
I just sold my car and this was my add

Hi Folks, If you are a linguist then I am selling your dream car! I’m selling an Accent, a 2004 Hyundai Accent to be precise. Even if you don’t know a bunch of languages, this car is still great for you.

Just like me, it’s been around the birthday block a few times, but there’s still lots of life left in both of us, I guarantee! If you are looking for the perfect body, seek out a surgeon. If you’re looking for a car that will love you just the way you are, this is it. Now I know what you’re thinking, β€œI bet this is a junker”, but you’d be wrong. Next to my wife this is the best body I’ve ever had my hands on.

What’s wrong with it mechanically you ask? Nothing! It drives great, A/C & heat still work like a dream, breaks work, transmission shifts good, and the 1.6L engine runs great. With its age, the engine has had some parts replaced. All the belts have recently been changed, that happens with age as I just went up a few sizes myself. The washer fluid pump has been changed because it’s important to be able to have a good cry once in a while. I did an oil change in the summer and depending on how long it takes for this car to finds it’s new match, I will do another in the next month or so.

Since beauty is in the eye of the beholder, I’ll give you a run down of what the interior is like. It’s what’s on the inside that matters anyway right? I am the 3rd owner of this car and the previous owner was a smoker. I don’t believe there is a cigarette smell anymore but the cloth seats do have little holes in them. I mean hey, when you play with fire you get burnt right? The stereo head unit has been replaced with a modern Pioneer as the original just wasn’t in tune with my musical needs as a Dj. The only real problem this pretty young thing has is the passenger rear seatbelt does not retract. Since I have two mini controllers I taxi around, I’ve had car seats in the back and have had no reason to replace the seatbelt yet. A new one is only a cool $250 from Hyundai but will take some time for delivery. There are still 4 working seatbelts in the car so if you’re traveling with another couple, I’m sure they’ll love to cuddle up in the middle and behind you, the driver.

The trunk is spacious enough for the average trunk but just doesn’t work out so well for hauling Dj gear. The rear seats fold as easy a poker player having their bluff called, so it will give you extra room. Not much more that I can think of to tell you about but take a look at the plethora of p

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DjBWren
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2017
🚨︎ report
A little history...

In the late '60s the government was developing ARPANET and the developers were trying to find a way for users on the system to communicate with each other.

The scientists involved came up with an electronic messaging system that they called the Tickle.

Tickles could be used to send important code updates, meeting invitations, or even just little jokes all along the network.

The DOD heard about these Tickles and asked for a briefing to determine their military potential. At a high-level meeting of generals and admirals, the lead developer presented the Tickle concept.

The ranking General asked for a demonstration and the lead scientist said "Sure, I'll send you a test Tickle."

And that's how E-mail was born.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SkipperMcGoo
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2018
🚨︎ report
My Mom was on the Phone...

She was using voice to text on her smartphone to send a message to someone. She said " Ok we will be there tonight should we bring anything?" I assumed that meant we were going to someone's house for dinner and asked my dad, "Who is she talking to?"(Wanting to know where we were going to eat.)

His immediate response, "The phone, stupid."

God dammit Dad.

πŸ‘︎ 185
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Kartoonist
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2013
🚨︎ report
An update after the trial.

The trial has been going on for over 12 days now and we thought you guys should know what we are doing. After reading your comments and messages it looks like you guys like the sub as a self-posts only sub, so the mods have decided, after throughly discussing it, that it is a good idea to remain this way for the foreseeable future.

If you guys have any more suggestions to improve your dadjoking experience, let us know in the comments or send the mods a message.

πŸ‘︎ 48
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/parin89
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2013
🚨︎ report
So I made a Free Dad Joke iMessage Sticker App

I know this isn't a joke, my apologies. However, I figured i'd give this a shot hoping many subscribers here would enjoy a Dad Jokes Sticker app

This is my first attempt at an iMessage Sticker App so I definitely plan on improving and updating the app over the next few weeks! Send me your favorite dad jokes, suggestions or screenshots using the app!

Thanks!

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/rickytw100
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2017
🚨︎ report
I need help writing airplane puns for a message on a dating site.

So the person's profile only talks about airplanes. I wanted to send a message totally jammed packed with airplane puns but I don't have that many. It's probably a fake profile but I still think it would be fun.

Here's what I have so far. Hey Girl. Most of the girls on this website are so 'plane' but you're the exception. I have a 'terminal' illness and hope to meet my copilot before I go. Just kidding. My health is 'A oK47'. I was just 'play'n' around. Just to let you know I have some baggage from some 'turbulence' in a previous relationship but Shirley I can get past it. My previous relationship taught me that two wrongs don't make a right. However, two Wrights made an airplane. I hope a new relationship can 'takeoff' with you though. I would be a great boyfriend. I have financial 'security' and could buy you anything you want with my 'visa'. Have you seen the movie, "Planes, Trains, and Automobiles"? It's really good, except for the train and automobile parts.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/richrawl
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2018
🚨︎ report
How did Vikings send secret messages?

Norse code.

πŸ‘︎ 53
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/the_houser
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2020
🚨︎ report
How did Vikings send secret messages?

Norse code

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/engineerwho_
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2020
🚨︎ report
How did the Vikings send secret messages?

By using Norse code

πŸ‘︎ 55
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/pandacoat
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2020
🚨︎ report
How do Vikings send messages ?

With Norse Code!

πŸ‘︎ 43
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/frugatti_cuse
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2020
🚨︎ report
How did Vikings send secret messages?

They used norse code.

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2019
🚨︎ report
How do spies send secret messages in the forest?

By moss code.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/_mono_no_aware
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2019
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.