PART FIVE HUNDRED AND NINETY-SEVEN
[Previous Chapter] [Next Chapter] [The Beginning] [Patreon+2]
Sunday
Boyd was seriously in love with the new gym. What Rachel had neglected to tell them, but they found on their own, was that the gym did indeed have an elevator for those who couldn’t make it up the stairs. On each of the floors, it was located between the men’s locker room and the exit doors, where people could make discreet entrances and exits without drawing attention to themselves.
He spotted it on the third floor, only after they were taken through what had to be the most familiar style of training ground he had seen outside of the military. Sandbags. Tyres. Massive coils of rope. Around three sides of the walls was an agility course wide enough for two people, consisting of a cargo net climb, a double beam, a low net to crawl under, a balance beam, a shale army crawl, a sloping wall with a rope, a vertical ladder and finally, a good, old fashioned assault wall.
The only thing missing was the sand, the mud, and a screaming drill sergeant.
And the part that bore repeating? It was a two-man course.
After Lucas introduced him to the free weights and the weight machines on the fourth floor, Boyd returned the favour here.
It hadn’t been quite the walkover he’d expected and watching the way Lucas pounced on the assault wall seconds behind him, Boyd was forced to remember his boyfriend’s love of parkour.
Lucas landed on the mat beside him mere seconds after Boyd’s feet contacted the firm gel and he doubled over at the waist, panting as he pressed his hands into his knees. “God, damn, Boyd. I did not see you as someone that light on your feet.”
Boyd was tempted to dig deep and pretend the course hadn’t fazed him in the least, but he couldn’t bring himself to do it. Resting his back against the assault wall, he sucked in sharp breaths through a broad grin. “I guess it is like riding a bike after all,” he puffed, looking over the familiar course. Parkour had only gotten Lucas so far. There were tricks to not getting tangl
... keep reading on reddit ➡I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.
Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.
The nurse asked the rabbit, “what is your blood type?”
“I am probably a type O” said the rabbit.
Mentos
(I will see myself out)
The doctor says it terminal.
Alot of great jokes get posted here! However just because you have a joke, doesn't mean it's a dad joke.
THIS IS NOT ABOUT NSFW, THIS IS ABOUT LONG JOKES, BLONDE JOKES, SEXUAL JOKES, KNOCK KNOCK JOKES, POLITICAL JOKES, ETC BEING POSTED IN A DAD JOKE SUB
Try telling these sexual jokes that get posted here, to your kid and see how your spouse likes it.. if that goes well, Try telling one of your friends kid about your sex life being like Coca cola, first it was normal, than light and now zero , and see if the parents are OK with you telling their kid the "dad joke"
I'm not even referencing the NSFW, I'm saying Dad jokes are corny, and sometimes painful, not sexual
So check out r/jokes for all types of jokes
r/unclejokes for dirty jokes
r/3amjokes for real weird and alot of OC
r/cleandadjokes If your really sick of seeing not dad jokes in r/dadjokes
Punchline !
Edit: this is not a post about NSFW , This is about jokes, knock knock jokes, blonde jokes, political jokes etc being posted in a dad joke sub
Edit 2: don't touch the thermostat
Do your worst!
How the hell am I suppose to know when it’s raining in Sweden?
We told her she can lean on us for support. Although, we are going to have to change her driver's license, her height is going down by a foot. I don't want to go too far out on a limb here but it better not be a hack job.
Ants don’t even have the concept fathers, let alone a good dad joke. Keep r/ants out of my r/dadjokes.
But no, seriously. I understand rule 7 is great to have intelligent discussion, but sometimes it feels like 1 in 10 posts here is someone getting upset about the jokes on this sub. Let the mods deal with it, they regulate the sub.
They were cooked in Greece.
I'm surprised it hasn't decade.
He lost May
Now that I listen to albums, I hardly ever leave the house.
Said if she ever hosts a gender reveal party, when it comes time to pop the balloon she'll spray everyone with water.
Gender is fluid.
Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says "is it just me, or is it hot in here?"
Then the other muffin says "AHH, TALKING MUFFIN!!!"
Don't you know a good pun is its own reword?
But let me give it a shot.
For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.
I said "hey look, an escaPEA"
No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!
Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂
It really does, I swear!
He’s the new temp.
And now I’m cannelloni
Because she wanted to see the task manager.
And boy are my arms legs.
But that’s comparing apples to oranges
Amy
Put it on my bill
Heard they've been doing some shady business.
but then I remembered it was ground this morning.
Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale
Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments
They’re on standbi
A play on words.
