Secret Recipe Puns

It operates on a knead to know basis.

I got drunk and spilled the beans.

That’s when I knew it was Thyme.

Then she spilled the beans.

It will be called wikileeks.com

All the employees must sign a naan-disclosure agreement.

Yeah. I'll leave now.

I'd tell you but, it's on a knead to dough basis

Before they'd tell me their secret recipes, I had to sign a Naan-Disclosure Agreement

He's been practicing for this role for months. He goes down to the opera house on the day of the audition, only to find he's come down with a sore throat and can't hit his notes anymore. In a panic, he asks one of the directors if they can postpone his audition.

"I'm sorry," says the director, "but we can't delay an audition for just one performer. That would set a bad precedent. Instead, I'll let you in on a little opera house secret." The director pours the man a cup of warm, smelly liquid. "Drink this. It's a special tea to help your throat. The recipe has been passed down for decades in this opera company, and I guarantee it will make you able to sing again."

The man wrinkles up his nose and takes a swig. "Euch! This is... awful! What's in this tea anyways?"

"Well, it's a secret herbal tea blend made with... well... fish broth." The director replies. "Tuna, specifically. We've found it helps soothe the throat better than any other fish we've tried."

Sure enough the man is able to sing again! He hits all his notes and gives an exemplary performance.

At the end of the auditions, he finds the director that gave him the tea. "So... what did you think? Did I get the part or not?" He asks.

"I'm sorry," said the director, "you performed well, but we've decided to give the part to someone else."

"That's OK," the man says, "I'm just really grateful for the Opera-Tuna-Tea."

It's a nice little place that serves Indian food, and some Canadian stuff, like pizza. We ordered their Hawaiian special, and loved it. I told my wife the texture of the crust lead me to think they used Indian flatbread for it.

She replied "So that is the secret ingredient?"

"Could be," I answered. "But it's naan of your business what their recipe is."

So my wife and I were making some fried chicken wings tonight. So I asked her:

Me: "Did you make these from a recipe?"

Her: "Well I didn't just WING it!"

Me: "Haaaaaaaaaaaa!!!! I see what you did there."

Her: "What?" she thinks for a bit and then just gives me a stare.

Later on in the conversation we're discussing how it's been a long day and wings sound good.

Me: "Wings and Alcohol sound like a great combo for today."

Her: "Well it is FRIday."

Me: "Heyoooooo!!!! Nice one."

Her: she just glares at me

....

I secretly think she's an awesome dad. Either that or my puns are infiltrating every corner of her mind.

Our secret recipe for holy water: take two liters water, and boil the hell out of it!

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