Sample Point Puns

I now have so much respect for all the jokes in here,

So i just became a dad on Friday to a beautiful baby girl and my story goes like this.

Today a Midwife came into the room where my wife and I were and started with a speech " Hi my name is !editingoutinfo! I was wondering if i can take a blood sample from the baby, It's voluntary, it's for statistics and it gets sent out to a lab and they test for all rare conditions, they are going to test her genes and..."

At which point i stopped her and said "we haven't got any jeans for her, everyone has been buying her pink dresses"

she gave me a pity laugh and said "ohh the dad jokes are starting already"

What is happening to me?

While sitting in the emergency room:

Dad: "I see they left a stool sample." *points -> http://imgur.com/F7PwGT2

My father in law is a vegetarian. Apparently at one point he was at the grocery store and a lady there was giving out samples of meatballs or something.

Woman: Would you like a sample?

Father in law: No thanks, I'm a vegetarian.

Woman (not giving up): It's low sodium!

Father in law: Well, I'm still a vegetarian, and I would have to put salt on it.