What did rosemary say when sage proposed?

It’s about thyme

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DaMole1977
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2021
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Dad can you make me potatoes with rosemary

Who’s Rose-Mary? Is she gonna do most of the cooking?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Migeistabello
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2019
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I bought a book at the spice store today.

It’s about thyme.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/csteinbergrules
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2020
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Rosemary is brought home to new fridge.

She observes the other herbs with much interest and notes one herb stands out as the clear leader of the pack. She asks her only friend so far Marjoram who that is. Marjoram says: β€œIn here, he’s kind of a big Dill.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/citizenvane
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2019
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Herbal essentials

Noted researcher Rosemary Fuller was involved in a lab accident today. She's working on the theory that herb-based formulas can actually reverse or accelerate the aging process. Parsley, for example, has been shown to cause rapid aging, and recent efforts have shown good results with oregano-based anti-aging serums. Ms Fuller was, unfortunately, standing near a vat of simmering oregano serum when a nearby researcher nudged her and she fell in! It appeared at first that the anti-aging serum would cause her to de-age down to nothing. Now, though, it looks like she'll be all right. The Parsley's aged Rosemary in time.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/berenaltorin
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2020
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My dad told me I should put my dried herbs in an airtight container....

...he gave me some sage advice.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/stoneyzepplin
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2018
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An old friend dad joked me at his restaurant

Me to friend: You work fourteen hour shifts, make everything from scratch, and tend your own vegetable and herb garden. Where do you find the time?

Friend: Right next to the rosemary.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Z-Freak
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2015
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What are the four seasons?

Spring, Summer, Pumpkin, and Winter

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πŸ‘€︎ u/buckeyespud
πŸ“…︎ Sep 13 2017
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Which is the most inviting spice?

Cumin!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nemo_Griff
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2017
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Pun-Off Over.

So my dad and I were having a pun-off using spices as our source material. ("Did not see that cumin," etc. etc.)

I finally stump him and he tries "I poppyseed what you did there." I tell him that poppyseed is not a spice (not sure about this but I sounded sure of myself) and ask him to name at least one thing that has ever been spiced with poppyseed.

His reply... "Mommy-seed"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Toasty_Burger
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2014
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Brainstorming food/movie theme nights. It es-kale-lated quickly. Only thing in my Bumble profile now.

When Harry Met Salad

What About Ke-Bob

Cumin to America

Weekend at Bearneaise II

Steakin I, II, & III

A Few Good Salmon

You’ve Got Kale

Shawshank Re-Dim Sum

Romancing the Scone

An Γ‰clair to Remember

Roman Hollandaise

Glazed and Confused

Bill & Ted’s Eggcellent Adventure

The Evil Bread

Kiss Kiss Bang Bang Shrimp

Fondue the Right Thing

Ribeyes Wide Shut

Mignons

Plante of the Grapes

Spider Manchu

Sushis All That

A Wok to Remember

Marsala-la Land

Apocalypse Cow

Die Chard

Die Chard with a Vinaigrette

Hogan’s Gyros

The Sand Latkes

A League of their Macaroni

Revenge of the Curds

Rush S’More

Braising Arizona

Demolition Ham

10 Things I hate About Ewe

Saladin

Oliver and Com-penne

Dirty Rotten Chanterelles

Sex and the Satay

The Truth About Cats & Hotdogs

Morella Enchanted

Provolone Together

Clear and Pheasant Danger

The Big Chili

LΓ©mon: The Professional

Ava-Tartare

Hocous Pocous

High Fi-Deli Meat

Madagascargot

The Fifth Elementos

Muensters Inc.

There’s Something About Rosemary

I Am Ham

Quiche Lorraine Man

Barley & Me

Lentil Giants

Peggy SoufflΓ© Got Married

Face Stroganoff

Con GruyΓ©re

Fast Times at Porridgemont High

Bok Choys in the Hood

Papillonion

Requinoa for a Dream

Serial Cardamom

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kat_fogg
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2019
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Why should Simon and Garfunkel rule the World?

Because then at least the Trains would run on Parsley, Sage, Rosemary AND Thyme!

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2019
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Girlfriend was talking about her coworker...

"I don't know why Rosemary hates me so much. " honey, I have some sage advice for you... If you want Rosemary to like you you just have to give her thyme. Go about it gingerly."

Bright side, the couch is comfy

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hepatitisbees
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2016
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My wife cooked me a great breakfast this morning. She was bragging about it.

After a great steak & eggs + side dishes breakfast...

Wife: Man. I'm so great. Cooking requires more creativity and skill than baking. You're just reading measurements with baking. With baking, all you need is time - a lot of time.

Me: What about basil or rosemary?

Wife: Huh?

Me: Basil or rosemary?

Wife: Huh?

A few seconds later, she gets it, sighs, then laughs. A few more seconds later...

Wife: I can't believe you're still laughing at your own joke.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/claytondufresne
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2015
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Typical family dinner

My brother - "I was cooking with rosemary today" Dad - "Who's she?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Macanri
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2015
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I took my father out for an early father's day dinner

We got our meals (both ordered the porterhouse) and it comes with a sprig of thyme as garnish on the plate. He picks it up and puts it on his shoulder and sings "Thyme it's on my side, yes it is." The server proceeds to tell us it is rosemary, and he started singing "Rosemary is on my side, yes it is." Laughter and eye rolls ensure.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/steakfatt
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2015
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Got dad on Father's Day

My Dad and I were making a batch of herb roasted nuts for my grandfather which requires meticulously picking apart fresh thyme and rosemary for chopping.

My Dad: the best part is our hands will smell great for the rest of the day!

Me: yeah, we've got too much thyme on our hands!

Dad: Hey! That's my job!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TunaBoots
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19 2016
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so my mom got some new house plants...

I walk in the front door, and said, "Hey mom, hey dad- huh, it smells like rosemary in here."

Dad says "I wouldn't know what she smells like, i'm a married man."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/asian_noodle_soup
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2013
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Best dad jokes are told by Dads!

This happened when my parents first started dating. My Dad went over to my mums with a bit of back pain. My mum was a nurse and apparently Rosemary is good for that kind of thing. Mum: "Would you like to take a bath with Rosemary?" Dad: "I guess she'll do"

Bonus Dad Joke: When my dad has back pain, I like set him up and say: "How long have you had a weak back?" to which he replies, "Oh since about a week back"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pourpiednoir
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2014
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My mom still won't talk to me

So my mom sent me a text asking if we had basil, thyme, rosemary, and sage. I didn't respond then she texted me again saying she's going to the store, and I need to check now. I texted her back 'I'm running out of thyme to tell you?' It's been half an hour and hasn't answered

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sgtpepper95
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2014
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