Rongotai Puns

Vaccination rates by suburb

I know that this map is mainly just the airport and Lyall bay industrial but does no one live in that area? What about Moa point? That must have more than 39 residents. If it is just 39 residents, why not just absorb it into another region?

Hi,

I'm moving to Wellington soon from Australia. Whats this school like? What's its reputation like?

Cheers!

Hi guys and girls, I am looking to buy a house in Wellington (from the other side of the world, go figure - I'm an expat who'll return home one day soon!) and need some local knowledge please.. Are there areas of Rongotai or Miramar you would avoid looking to buy in because of noise from the airport? What kind of sound buffering do they have in place at the airport (eg dunes)?

I can see quite a few adjacent streets that are all residential areas very close by and I wonder how affected they are and what that typically does to house rental/purchase prices.

Thanks!

Today is a special occasion. Right here, right now you will be able to collect your copy of ‘Freedom without cost - ACT Party manifesto 2019’ (Free for all members of young ACT and full paying ACT Party members!) This manifesto has been the result of hours of work, days of meeting with business leaders, weeks of drafting new copies and months of meeting and consulting with ACT members from across NZ on how they should have their say. We have to say, it’s pretty darn neat!

Some policies you may note is the focus on shifting tax away from being ‘progressive.’ This term we’ve seen outrageous use of tax collection and tax expenditure on the New Zealand public and ACT will not stand for it. This is why we proposed massive tax cuts across most brackets and lowering the corporate tax rate to spur job growth, especially down here in Wellington where it is well overdue. When you leave college, we want you to be earning more - we want you to afford a decent living without having tax after tax affect your personal life. This is why we have decided ultimately to propose one of the most radicalised tax policies in Parliament.

We are facing a crisis of common sense. Labour and the Greens are putting New Zealanders at risk. We cannot allow them to continue governing this nation - when they see an opportunity for tax, when they see the opportunity to take more from hardworking Kiwis, they will take it. Someone needs to stand up and stop them - and that someone we firmly believe holds the ACT banner. With your support in electorates all over the country, we can unseat this wasteful Government. The ACT manifesto is New Zealand’s golden ticket for much better economic management rather than all this wasteful spending in areas we have no interest in investing in.

manifesto

Jesus, what a shambles.

Every question was a shite patsy question, a question relating to an incredibly minor interest, or just fucking racist.

The candidates were mostly woefully unprepared, several were "joke" candidates who actively wasted time. One exception was a guy dressed as a climate elephant who started by saying "don't vote for me". At least he didn't fuck around and take more than a couple of seconds. The rest wanted to ban the financial system and suchlike, and spoke at length on the matter...

The three majors - Russel Norman, Annette King, Chris Finlayson - were the only ones worth listening to and I'd say only King seemed adequate.

Finlayson spent 3 minutes screaming at everyone that they were wrong. At one point he rhetorically asked the audience "Who insulated thousands of homes?". An audience member replied: "the Greens!". I can see why he's in on the National list.

Some Anglican woman went off her nut at him for being a bad Catholic and not following Pope Francis. It was a bizarre introduction to conflict between faith for me, a South Islander from a relatively irreligious area.

Thank fuck for political discussion on reddit.

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

The nurse asked the rabbit, “what is your blood type?”

“I am probably a type O” said the rabbit.

The doctor says it terminal.

Alot of great jokes get posted here! However just because you have a joke, doesn't mean it's a dad joke.

THIS IS NOT ABOUT NSFW, THIS IS ABOUT LONG JOKES, BLONDE JOKES, SEXUAL JOKES, KNOCK KNOCK JOKES, POLITICAL JOKES, ETC BEING POSTED IN A DAD JOKE SUB

Try telling these sexual jokes that get posted here, to your kid and see how your spouse likes it.. if that goes well, Try telling one of your friends kid about your sex life being like Coca cola, first it was normal, than light and now zero , and see if the parents are OK with you telling their kid the "dad joke"

I'm not even referencing the NSFW, I'm saying Dad jokes are corny, and sometimes painful, not sexual

So check out r/jokes for all types of jokes

r/unclejokes for dirty jokes

r/3amjokes for real weird and alot of OC

r/cleandadjokes If your really sick of seeing not dad jokes in r/dadjokes

Punchline !

Edit: this is not a post about NSFW , This is about jokes, knock knock jokes, blonde jokes, political jokes etc being posted in a dad joke sub

Edit 2: don't touch the thermostat

Do your worst!

How the hell am I suppose to know when it’s raining in Sweden?

Mathematical puns makes me number

We told her she can lean on us for support. Although, we are going to have to change her driver's license, her height is going down by a foot. I don't want to go too far out on a limb here but it better not be a hack job.

Ants don’t even have the concept fathers, let alone a good dad joke. Keep r/ants out of my r/dadjokes.

But no, seriously. I understand rule 7 is great to have intelligent discussion, but sometimes it feels like 1 in 10 posts here is someone getting upset about the jokes on this sub. Let the mods deal with it, they regulate the sub.

They were cooked in Greece.

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

He lost May

Now that I listen to albums, I hardly ever leave the house.

Don't you know a good pun is its own reword?

Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says "is it just me, or is it hot in here?"

Then the other muffin says "AHH, TALKING MUFFIN!!!"

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

And now I’m cannelloni

Said if she ever hosts a gender reveal party, when it comes time to pop the balloon she'll spray everyone with water.

Gender is fluid.

Because she wanted to see the task manager.

And boy are my arms legs.

But that’s comparing apples to oranges

Put it on my bill

Amy

Heard they've been doing some shady business.

but then I remembered it was ground this morning.

Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale

Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments