A new study revealed that humans eat more bananas than monkeys.

It makes sense, I don't think I've ever eaten a monkey.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/I_hate_IVT
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2022
🚨︎ report
My wife makes me want to dress like a revealing woman

She brings out the breast in me

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/incredibleinkpen
πŸ“…︎ May 13 2022
🚨︎ report
Disney reveals that the upcoming "Kenobi" series will be streamed exclusively in Flash player

It will be titled Adobe Wan Kenobi

πŸ‘︎ 66
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πŸ‘€︎ u/iamapizza
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2022
🚨︎ report
Today my girlfriend revealed not only she wants to breakup with me, but also she wants to move in with her lesbian girlfriend.

Guess this is Good-bi.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/azn_fraz_268
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15 2022
🚨︎ report
When wearing a bikini, women reveal 90 % of their body.

Men are so polite they only look at the covered parts.

πŸ‘︎ 494
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DatabaseSolid
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2021
🚨︎ report
Arranged a gender reveal party today

Don't know why everyone screamed when i pulled my pants down. How else am i gonna reveal my gender!

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Stuck_In_2009
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2022
🚨︎ report
Recent survey revealed

6 out of 7 dwarf’s aren’t happy.

πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2021
🚨︎ report
I told my wife: Your underwear are far too revealing

She replied: Wear your own then

πŸ‘︎ 346
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πŸ‘€︎ u/StarvedAsian
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2021
🚨︎ report
Girlfriend got me good. Never been more proud of her.

Said if she ever hosts a gender reveal party, when it comes time to pop the balloon she'll spray everyone with water.

Gender is fluid.

πŸ‘︎ 12k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mannheimd
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2022
🚨︎ report
What was the biggest gender reveal of all time?

When Japan found out the U.S.A had a Little Boy.

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Helpfulfriend96
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2021
🚨︎ report
"Your underwear is much too tight and very revealing." I said to my wife.

She said, "Wear your own then, dickhead."

πŸ‘︎ 19k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a rodent that never reveal its self?

Anonymouse 🐭

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Good-Football385
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2021
🚨︎ report
How the neighbors advertise their gender reveal.
πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Aydien1211
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2021
🚨︎ report
So the doctor sat me down and gently revealed to me me that my child is a boy trapped in a girls body...

...Until my wife gives birth that is. Only three more months to go!

πŸ‘︎ 14k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RealTheAsh
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2020
🚨︎ report
When Bruce became Caitlyn

did they have a Jenner reveal party?

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2022
🚨︎ report
The makers of Pepsi have finally revealed how they're able to determine when each can of their product will expire

They carbondate it

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/eagleboy444
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2021
🚨︎ report
I went to a gender reveal party

I thought it'd be more revealing if I didn't wear pants.

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JokesRetoldBadly
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2021
🚨︎ report
When the Cuckoo Killer's house collapsed on top of the officer, revealing all the evidence against the Killer, he knew he had one the case

The bird den of proof fell on him, after all

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Magnificent-Moe
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2021
🚨︎ report
Why wouldn’t the martial artist reveal his secret technique?

It was KungFudential information.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Ezyx400
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2021
🚨︎ report
Baby gender reveal at my family reunion

My brother’s wife has been pregnant for five months and decided that they wanted to reveal the gender of the baby at our family reunion of about 40 people.

One night, after just finishing up a BBQ, my brother and his wife stand up and announce to the family that they are going to have a little baby girl. Everyone starts cheering, naturally.

Once the cheers die down a little I shout out, β€œDo you have a name for the baby yet?”

My brother replies, β€œYeah. Liana Noelle.”

Everyone starts to β€œOoohhh” and β€œAhhhh” and proclaim how pretty of a name it is.

Then after a moment I shout, β€œHow the hell are you supposed to spell Liana with no L?”

πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mzahit29
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the boxer cover up his battle scar?

He didn't want to reveal the punchline.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AstroAwesome12345
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2022
🚨︎ report
My grandfather grew up in a small town.

His best friend, Roy, was known around town for having an adventurous streak that a small town just couldn't satisfy. Roy yearned to travel the world, to rub shoulders with the well-to-do, and to squeeze every drop of excitement he could out of life. While most young folk in town, my grandpa included, were resigned to their lot, Roy was driven by his dream. He worked incredibly hard, taking every hired-hand and handy-man job he could find. He would walk five miles each way to clean a gutter if there was a nickel to be made. His hometown was always spotless, because Roy would pick up every glass bottle he saw to get the deposit back, and every can he found would get turned in for recycling.

The years stretched on. Grandpa settled down with his high school sweetheart in a one-room cottage and had my dad, and not much else. Roy kept hurrying from one job to the next, never spending a dime on a date. Everyone would just roll their eyes and quietly gossip about how poor Roy's obsession was robbing him of a real life.

One day, Roy showed up at Grandpa's house, all decked out in a brand new khaki safari kit, complete with helmet, binoculars, and elephant gun, and announced that he had finally saved up enough for passage to Africa to go big game hunting. He was especially proud of the fine leather boots he was sporting. "Indestructable" he called them, totally impenetrable to water, wind, and snow. No trench-foot for him while he tracked rhinos on the savannah!

Grandpa congratulated Roy on his achievement and wished him bon voyage. Over the next three months, the town felt Roy's absence. Litter lay where it fell, gutters overflowed in heavy rain, small-time farmers rose that bit earlier and bedded that bit later to cover the work Roy used to help with. Of course, the gossipers just turned their chat from how Roy needed a dose of reality to how thoughtless it was of him to just up and leave. Most folks were convinced Roy was gone for good. After all, how could he come back from such a high-falutin' adventure to his tiny, no-account hometown?

But return Roy did, and everyone crowded around at the bar to hear his account of his safari. To their surprise, Roy told them that, for all the time he had been away, he only bagged one trophy that was currently on a slow boat back. It turned out, once Roy got a close-up look at the elephants, rhinos, giraffes, gazelles, and all the fine animals of the African savannah, he lost all heart for hunting. He just couldn't imagi

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AllylTeapot
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2022
🚨︎ report
I had an awkward dinner with my son before his date...

I asked him what her name was while we had Buffalo burgers, and he revealed his name. I made sure to cut the dinner short after that. My wife thought it was because I was ashamed of him, but that wasn't true at all.

I was just excited to say "Bye son" to my Bi-son after he finished eating his Bison.

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Eat_to_Complete
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17 2022
🚨︎ report
An urban legend that was revealed on the movie Legally Blonde.

Guy 1: I heard that the main character kept stabbing people on the set filming Legally Blonde. I can't remember her full name. It was Reese..... something. She just kept attacking people one by one but I don't know who it was.

Guy 2: Witherspoon

Guy 1: No...... with her knife. Who would be that stupid to use a spoon to hurt over.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/macman1604
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2021
🚨︎ report
I'm currently watching a documentary on the bikini.

It comes in two parts and it's very revealing.

πŸ‘︎ 31
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wimpykidfan37
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2021
🚨︎ report
A new study reveals that listening to a Queen album might be bad for your health.

Because of the unusually high Mercury content.

πŸ‘︎ 5k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2018
🚨︎ report
The shocking truth of why 6 was afraid of 7 revealed here.

7 was a Registered 6 offender.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/God_Smith82
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2021
🚨︎ report
Three boys go into a haunted house

They snuck from their beds in the middle of the night and met in the gloomy darkness in front of the house, shivering in the cold.

The first boy said in a loud whisper, "You guys bring anything?" He slid a gun out of his pocket. The second boy nodded and revealed a knife. The third boy pulled out a flashlight.

"You didn't bring a weapon?" the first boy asked. He shrugged and replied, "Sorry". And as if to prove it, he turned his pockets out to show nothing but stray lint and a pack of cough drops.

They crept in. The door shut behind them. It was pitch black and stone quiet. They were suddenly starting to regret this dare. The flash light clicked on. The aggressive darkness and inky black yielded with grudging compliance but always seeming to push back. They moved cautiously onward amid the dust and cobwebs. The floor creaked. They breathed in tight, quick breaths. You could hear a pin drop.

Suddenly, there was a deep moan. "OOOOOOOOUUUUU". It seemed from below them. The house had been abandoned for years. Who or what could make such a sound? The boys looked at each other, but continued on, hearts pounding in their chests.

As they proceeded into the kitchen they encountered a swarm of flies. Buzzing and beating their necks and faces, they rushed and stumbled to the door on the other side, not stopping to see what they were truly feasting on. They slammed the door behind them. Maybe a dead body? But no way were they going back to find out. And again came the sound, "ooooOOOOOooooOOUUU" but louder this time, and closer.

They proceeded through the dark into the dining room. They found a fully set, ornate dining table covered in cob webs. Dust-covered regal goblets, pitchers and silverware adorned the table. Spiders crept over ivory plates. Clearly a house of privilege and set for a grand feast which never happened.

Or, perhaps, met a fatal end?

They pushed on. But again that unearthly howl.

"oooooOOOOOOOOOOOUuuuuUUUUuuUUOOOOooo".

They found the basement staircase, and from below, the sounds seemed to be emanating. Could they proceed? Would they? Did they dare? Two of the boys looked at each other, faces filled with worry.

But the third said confidently, "We're going down there." Not wanting to seem the weaker, the other two boys steeled themselves and nodded.

The stairs creaked and groaned evily under their feet. The rickety banister shook in angry defiance. Insects and vermin scattered underneath them with every step. They were descending into hel

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 90
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πŸ‘€︎ u/billbixbyakahulk
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2021
🚨︎ report
Vegans and Vegetarians can not have gender reveal parties

Because you must first veal before you can reveal.

And yes, I just said this to my wife. She can't wait until our kids are teenagers and I can tell these jokes in front of their friends.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/frumpybuffalo
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2021
🚨︎ report
finally got the logic
πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Leaper29th
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2020
🚨︎ report
Wanting to impress my son at the zoo today, I revealed to him, "Used to be best friends with a giraffe, but we had a falling out." Puzzled, he asked, "What happened?" I shook my head, "I don't know really, but I felt..."

"He was always looking down on me!"

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2021
🚨︎ report
Dad are we pyromaniacs?

Yes we arson

πŸ‘︎ 33
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kagiles530
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2021
🚨︎ report
The parents that started the wildfire with their gender reveal party announced what they will name their baby.

Bernie.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/stefan715
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2020
🚨︎ report
Studies have revealed that cows produce much more milk when the farmers talk to them.

It's a case of, in one ear and out of the uddet

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2021
🚨︎ report
So I heard these gender reveal parties are...

real hot right now.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JonnyRocks
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2020
🚨︎ report
If I see another gender reveal bomb meme...

Boy, I’m gonna blow up

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/swim_and_drive
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2020
🚨︎ report
I went to a gender reveal party the other day

It was great, but I can’t work out why I was the only naked person there.

πŸ‘︎ 51
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dandan_56
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2020
🚨︎ report
I said to my wife β€œI hate to tell you this babe, but your bathing suit is too revealing and tight”

She said β€œthen wear your own one then”

πŸ‘︎ 101
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bigpapastu
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2020
🚨︎ report
The truth has been revealed
πŸ‘︎ 27
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2020
🚨︎ report
My brother and his wife won’t speak to me following their gender reveal party.

Apparently it refers to the baby.

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Brucemoose1
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2020
🚨︎ report
As we were getting ready to go to the beach, I reluctantly said to my wife, "I hate to say this honey, but your bikini is kinda tight and revealing." She giggled and said...

"Well then, you'd better wear your own!"

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2020
🚨︎ report
This must be the soupervisor
πŸ‘︎ 5k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/moses10960
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2019
🚨︎ report
It has been revealed that Germany has the lowest rate of Coronavirus in the world

It's because they wash their Hans

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/drezyb
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2020
🚨︎ report
A recent survey just revealled

6 out of 7 dwarfs aren't happy

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2022
🚨︎ report
The biggest gender reveal was in Japan...

They had a little boy.

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Parkwad
πŸ“…︎ Sep 13 2020
🚨︎ report
Baby gender reveal at my family reunion

My brother’s wife has been pregnant for five months and decided that they wanted to reveal the gender of the baby at our family reunion of about 40 people.

One night, after just finishing up a BBQ, my brother and his wife stand up and announce to the family that they are going to have a little baby girl. Everyone starts cheering, naturally.

Once the cheers die down a little I shout out, β€œDo you have a name for the baby yet?”

My brother replies, β€œYeah. Liana Noelle.”

Everyone starts to β€œOoohhh” and β€œAhhhh” and proclaim how pretty of a name it is.

Then after a moment I shout, β€œHow the hell are you supposed to spell Liana with no L?”


Edit (10/22/2014): Probably won't be seen or noticed by anyone, but my baby niece was just born today! She's on the opposite side of the country, but I can't wait to meet her!

πŸ‘︎ 8k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Ted_E_Bear
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2014
🚨︎ report
Why am I the only person naked at this gender reveal party?
πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/rocketshoe21
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2020
🚨︎ report

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