Reflecting on Prince Philip death, I was chatting with the Mrs and I said, I know I’m getting a little older, but I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull the plug.

She got up, unplugged my laptop and threw out my beer….

EDIT: Thanks for the kind awards... My first ever! ❀️

πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2021
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I was standing in front of the bathroom mirror one evening admiring my reflection, when I posed this question to my wife of 30 years, β€œWill you still love me when I’m old, fat, and balding?” She smiled and answered...

β€œI do!"

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2021
🚨︎ report
A vampire was confused at his reflection

He wondered, what happened to the man in the mirror?

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ivory9576
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2021
🚨︎ report
Sometimes, I stop and reflect on last year.

As they say, hindsight is 2020.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/karmacatma
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2021
🚨︎ report
On reflection, there's a lot of stuff I'd like to have done differently this past year.

But hey, hindsight is 2020

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mish106
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the banana always stare at his reflection?

Because he thought he was very apPEELing

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MangoAway17
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2020
🚨︎ report
I remember when I bought my first rear view mirror.

I never looked back!

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ChuckBerry2020
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2021
🚨︎ report
They're building a mirror factory in my town.

I could definitely see myself working there.

πŸ‘︎ 316
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πŸ‘€︎ u/noapostrophe555
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2021
🚨︎ report
A Kung Fu student asks his teacher, "Master, why does my ability not improve? I'm always defeated." And the master, pensive and forever patient, answers, "My dear pupil, have you seen the gulls flying by the setting sun and their wings seeming like flames?"

"Yes, my master, I have."

"And a waterfall, spilling mightly over the stones without taking anything out of its proper place?"

"Yes, my master, I have witnessed it."

"And the moon, when it touches the calm water to reflect all its enormous beauty?"

"Yes, my master, I have also seen this marvelous phenomenon."

"That is the problem. You keep watching all this shit instead of training."

πŸ‘︎ 12k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2021
🚨︎ report
I knew a guy who disliked reflective headgear

You can say he was a matte hatter.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RickD716
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2020
🚨︎ report
Most people really hate when cars have a super reflective wrap, they think it’s too showoffy.

Personally, I can see myself in one of them.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/yraja
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2020
🚨︎ report
To the person who stole my running shoes and reflective vest...

You can run, but you can't hide!

πŸ‘︎ 32
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πŸ‘€︎ u/citronellaspray
πŸ“…︎ May 27 2020
🚨︎ report
I punched my monitor...

Now my hand Hz.

πŸ‘︎ 660
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2020
🚨︎ report
After a long hour of deep internal reflection
πŸ‘︎ 470
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πŸ‘€︎ u/fakyu2
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2019
🚨︎ report
My friend said he couldn't play with us because he had to write a "600 words reflection" so I did one for him

900 ʍoɹps

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LeviAEthan512
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2020
🚨︎ report
I often feel introspective when looking in a mirror...

It's good for self reflection.

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2021
🚨︎ report
People who hate how they look in the mirror are seeing their own reflect-shun
πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/WTF_is_OT
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2020
🚨︎ report
You know what they say about hindsight!
πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rejectedtuna
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2020
🚨︎ report
Page 22.) β€œYour Reflection”
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πŸ‘€︎ u/davetell2
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2020
🚨︎ report
In light of current events, I've been doing some self reflection and I came to the conclusion that I need to be more like a German child.

I need to be kinder.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/strmgdndl
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2020
🚨︎ report
I re-skinned my drums with the skin my faithful steed Chestnut. I want people to reflect on the emotional connection between man and beast through the art of drum solos.

But my wife says I'm just beating a dead horse.

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πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2019
🚨︎ report
My wife asked me, β€œDid you fog up the bathroom mirror again?”

I said, β€œI don’t see myself doing that.”

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2020
🚨︎ report
Why does the communist like the Laws of reflection? Because I=R

Because I = Our, get it? (I am aware of the pronoun change, this is a joke mate)

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OD1_ByHL
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2019
🚨︎ report
I went to my dads mirror warehouse

Upon further reflection i decided to leave

I just thought this up I hope its an original one

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kaoskrim
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2020
🚨︎ report
Cleaning a mirror
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πŸ‘€︎ u/robocoolgamer
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2020
🚨︎ report
I couldn't shave this morning because someone stole my mirror.

The police are looking into it.

πŸ‘︎ 425
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πŸ‘€︎ u/EasyOutside4
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2020
🚨︎ report
As I reflect back on my past, I remember the time when I forgot to pay my electric bill.

Those were some dark days.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2019
🚨︎ report
Light reflecting off Vietnamese soup should be called Pho tons
πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/snuzet
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2019
🚨︎ report
Hubs is gonna be late tonight
πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/amandapandacomics
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2019
🚨︎ report
I've been walking around the house reflecting on my errors

Sorry, autocorrect... My mirrors

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/justryingtokeepup
πŸ“…︎ May 13 2019
🚨︎ report
Best place to self-reflect is

A Mirror.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/iamrhaegaron
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2019
🚨︎ report
I think I want a job cleaning mirrors.

I could really see myself doing it.

πŸ‘︎ 133
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πŸ‘€︎ u/P5ammead
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2020
🚨︎ report
I was going to make a bread joke instead of a cake day joke...

On reflection though, I don’t knead to as it would be seedy, half baked, would get me rolled, wouldn’t involve me using my loaf and would leave me open to all sort of bread based buns...

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hideandsheep
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2020
🚨︎ report
I’ve been doing a lot of reflecting recently and have come to a realization

I own too many mirrors

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OhYeahSugah
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2019
🚨︎ report
Reflecting how you feel after selling pictures of yourself is self-evaluation on selfie valuation
πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AsymptoticAbyss
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2018
🚨︎ report
I surprised my family today by changing careers to become a mirror cleaner.

It was something I could always see myself doing.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/WhiskeyBadger_
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2020
🚨︎ report
Vampires don't break mirrors because it reflects poorly on them.
πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dyspaereunia
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2018
🚨︎ report
Why do you get 7 years of bad luck when you break a mirror?

So it gives you enough time to reflect on your mistake.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bodd19
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2020
🚨︎ report
Where do mirrors keep their life stories?

In their reflection journal

No, not funny

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Molotov_YouTube
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2020
🚨︎ report
There are relatively few films with Dracula in them. On the other hand, films without Dracula...

...are countless.

πŸ‘︎ 66
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JellyRollGeorge
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the lion do when it saw a reflection of itself?

It mir-roared

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SauceMaster6464
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2018
🚨︎ report
When feeling existential, one should look at a mirror for reflection.
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lapsed_
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2018
🚨︎ report
Working in a mirror factory is a profession

I can see myself doing.

πŸ‘︎ 47
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cpt_pickle
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2021
🚨︎ report
If inspecting mirrors was a job

I couldn’t really see myself doing it

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/panadatitties
πŸ“…︎ Aug 20 2020
🚨︎ report
Working in a mirror factory,

Is something I could really see myself doing

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/King_Sparky_
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2020
🚨︎ report

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