Reflecting on Prince Philip death, I was chatting with the Mrs and I said, I know Iβm getting a little older, but I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull the plug.
She got up, unplugged my laptop and threw out my beerβ¦.
EDIT: Thanks for the kind awards... My first ever! β€οΈ
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︎ Apr 09 2021
I was standing in front of the bathroom mirror one evening admiring my reflection, when I posed this question to my wife of 30 years, βWill you still love me when Iβm old, fat, and balding?β She smiled and answered...
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︎ Mar 27 2021
A vampire was confused at his reflection
He wondered, what happened to the man in the mirror?
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︎ Feb 11 2021
Sometimes, I stop and reflect on last year.
As they say, hindsight is 2020.
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︎ Jan 09 2021
On reflection, there's a lot of stuff I'd like to have done differently this past year.
But hey, hindsight is 2020
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︎ Dec 31 2020
Why did the banana always stare at his reflection?
Because he thought he was very apPEELing
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︎ Nov 17 2020
I remember when I bought my first rear view mirror.
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︎ Apr 11 2021
They're building a mirror factory in my town.
I could definitely see myself working there.
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︎ Feb 01 2021
A Kung Fu student asks his teacher, "Master, why does my ability not improve? I'm always defeated." And the master, pensive and forever patient, answers, "My dear pupil, have you seen the gulls flying by the setting sun and their wings seeming like flames?"
"Yes, my master, I have."
"And a waterfall, spilling mightly over the stones without taking anything out of its proper place?"
"Yes, my master, I have witnessed it."
"And the moon, when it touches the calm water to reflect all its enormous beauty?"
"Yes, my master, I have also seen this marvelous phenomenon."
"That is the problem. You keep watching all this shit instead of training."
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︎ Jan 10 2021
I knew a guy who disliked reflective headgear
You can say he was a matte hatter.
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︎ Oct 24 2020
Most people really hate when cars have a super reflective wrap, they think itβs too showoffy.
Personally, I can see myself in one of them.
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︎ Aug 08 2020
To the person who stole my running shoes and reflective vest...
You can run, but you can't hide!
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︎ May 27 2020
I punched my monitor...
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︎ Oct 25 2020
After a long hour of deep internal reflection
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︎ May 29 2019
My friend said he couldn't play with us because he had to write a "600 words reflection" so I did one for him
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︎ May 08 2020
I often feel introspective when looking in a mirror...
It's good for self reflection.
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︎ Mar 24 2021
People who hate how they look in the mirror are seeing their own reflect-shun
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︎ Jan 04 2020
You know what they say about hindsight!
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︎ Apr 03 2020
Page 22.) βYour Reflectionβ
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︎ Jan 04 2020
In light of current events, I've been doing some self reflection and I came to the conclusion that I need to be more like a German child.
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︎ Mar 25 2020
I re-skinned my drums with the skin my faithful steed Chestnut. I want people to reflect on the emotional connection between man and beast through the art of drum solos.
But my wife says I'm just beating a dead horse.
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︎ Sep 20 2019
My wife asked me, βDid you fog up the bathroom mirror again?β
I said, βI donβt see myself doing that.β
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︎ May 22 2020
Why does the communist like the Laws of reflection? Because I=R
Because I = Our, get it? (I am aware of the pronoun change, this is a joke mate)
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︎ Apr 03 2019
I went to my dads mirror warehouse
Upon further reflection i decided to leave
I just thought this up
I hope its an original one
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︎ Dec 31 2020
Cleaning a mirror
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︎ Aug 22 2020
I couldn't shave this morning because someone stole my mirror.
The police are looking into it.
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︎ Jul 03 2020
As I reflect back on my past, I remember the time when I forgot to pay my electric bill.
Those were some dark days.
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︎ Oct 03 2019
Light reflecting off Vietnamese soup should be called Pho tons
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︎ Jan 30 2019
Hubs is gonna be late tonight
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︎ Aug 29 2019
I've been walking around the house reflecting on my errors
Sorry, autocorrect... My mirrors
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︎ May 13 2019
Best place to self-reflect is
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︎ Jun 16 2019
I think I want a job cleaning mirrors.
I could really see myself doing it.
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︎ Jun 21 2020
I was going to make a bread joke instead of a cake day joke...
On reflection though, I donβt knead to as it would be seedy, half baked, would get me rolled, wouldnβt involve me using my loaf and would leave me open to all sort of bread based buns...
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︎ Nov 07 2020
Iβve been doing a lot of reflecting recently and have come to a realization
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︎ Feb 26 2019
Reflecting how you feel after selling pictures of yourself is self-evaluation on selfie valuation
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︎ Dec 15 2018
I surprised my family today by changing careers to become a mirror cleaner.
It was something I could always see myself doing.
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︎ Oct 02 2020
Vampires don't break mirrors because it reflects poorly on them.
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︎ Jun 22 2018
Why do you get 7 years of bad luck when you break a mirror?
So it gives you enough time to reflect on your mistake.
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︎ Nov 18 2020
Where do mirrors keep their life stories?
In their reflection journal
No, not funny
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︎ Nov 28 2020
There are relatively few films with Dracula in them. On the other hand, films without Dracula...
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︎ May 03 2020
What did the lion do when it saw a reflection of itself?
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︎ Nov 29 2018
When feeling existential, one should look at a mirror for reflection.
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︎ Dec 31 2018
Working in a mirror factory is a profession
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︎ Mar 02 2021
If inspecting mirrors was a job
I couldnβt really see myself doing it
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︎ Aug 20 2020
Working in a mirror factory,
Is something I could really see myself doing
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︎ Aug 21 2020
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