I hate reading puns about herbs. Seriously! They are such a waste of thyme...
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πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2019
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My teacher likes to start every day by reading a joke from Reddit. She was sick the other day, so

A subreddit.

πŸ‘︎ 14k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Such-Fig-3879
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2021
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Guess they should read the bio next time
πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Littlegrayhair
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2020
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I just read that someone in London gets stabbed every 52 seconds.

Poor bastard.

πŸ‘︎ 12k
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2020
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I'm reading a horror book in braille.

Something bad is going to happen. I can feel it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Artisticspawm
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2021
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I read that 25% of toddlers in America know how to use an iPad.

Whilst 100% of toddlers in China know how to make one.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Mar 08 2021
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Whenever I read the news
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πŸ‘€︎ u/whoosp
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2021
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Helen Keller reads β€œWarning! Electric Fence!” in braille

β€œWell that’s not a good sign” she said

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Akorical
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2021
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I thought this book I've just bought about farming would be a nice simple read..

But it's full of words I've never even herbivore.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/awesome_smokey
πŸ“…︎ Mar 11 2021
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I saw a sign above the urinal that read: "This is a urinal."

"No Shit."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ShawntheShiba
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2021
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I've been reading a book on anti-gravity

I just can't put it down.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kdlaz
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2021
🚨︎ report
Do you know why it's difficult to read what is on my Samsung phone's screen from 20 feet?

Because it's on a Galaxy far, far away.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/212lefty9
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2021
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Ok this needs a bit of context: 猫 is a Chinese word that is read as 'mao'
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πŸ‘€︎ u/EthanoicAcid2203
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2021
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Michael Read Charts
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Shir_zazil
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2021
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What do comedians like to read?

Comic books

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Xenonthewizlard
πŸ“…︎ Mar 14 2021
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I'm reading a great book about antigravity

I just can't put it down.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/beej2000
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2021
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I started reading an article on Stockholm syndrome.

At first it was terrible, but by the end, I found amazing.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/masterjon_3
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17 2021
🚨︎ report
Every night, I read my kids a book about the end of days...

Goodnight Moon is the darkest book I know.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Solest044
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2021
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How do you call a princess who leaves you on read?

Seenderella.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/evilmaker
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2021
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Bob: I read a...

Bill: What? a

Bob: Great article

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sitathon
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2021
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What is the smelliest kind of ox?

A buttocks.

πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wspoons5
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15 2021
🚨︎ report
Today I read a pamphlet on the history of incandescent bulbs...

It was light reading.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2021
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Did you know that dogs can’t read MRI’s?

But catscan!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Reeyou
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2021
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My deaf girlfriend just told me, β€œWe need to talk.”

That’s not a good sign.

πŸ‘︎ 12k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2021
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I'm currently reading a book about the life of Henry Ford.

It's an autobiography.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/gregsedwards
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2021
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A woman is walking through the park when she sees a very attractive man sitting on a park bench. He's reading a book and eating some fruit out of a Tupperware container. Slowly the woman gathers the courage to go ask the man out...

So, she walks over and takes a seat next to him on the bench, turns to him and says, "Sorry to bother you. I know this may be a little forward but I would love to grab coffee with you some time."

Flattered, the man responds, "Sure... but what makes you so certain you and I would get along so well?"

"Well..." the woman says. "A couple things, actually. I noticed you were wearing an Iron Maiden t-shirt. Iron Maiden are my favorite band of all time. When they went on their reunion tour in 1999, my parents took me to see them in Cleveland. I was 12 years old and it was the first concert I ever went to. I absolutely love Iron Maiden."

The man can't believe it.

"I saw them play Cleveland in '99! First concert I ever went to on my own. My best friend Jimmy Spitz and I told our parents we were sleeping at each others' houses, snuck out, took a bus into the city and saw them play at the Plain Dealer Pavillion!"

Naturally, they're both shocked.

"If that isn't weird enough..." says the woman. "I noticed you're reading Mark Twain. I was a communications major in university and I actually wrote my thesis on Mark Twain and how he used satire as a lens to comment on current events of the time, comparing him to satirical news sources of today. He's my favorite author."

Now the man is really taken aback, "Get out of here! I was an English major in university! I specialized in 19th century American literature and this is like my fourth or fifth time reading Tom Sawyer, I absolutely love Mark Twain."

They both can't believe it...this has got to be a match made in heaven.

"Ok..." the woman says. "Well, buckle up because here's the icing on the cake. I noticed you're eating a prune. Prunes are my absolute favorite fruit. When I was a kid, my grandfather lived on a farm. He had an orchard that mainly grew apples and some lemons, but he knew how much my sister and I loved prunes so he kept a couple of plum trees. Every year at the end of the summer, we'd go up and harvest the plums with him. He'd dry them and by the time we'd go back to his place for Thanksgiving he'd always have those prunes saved just for us. They're my favorite fruit! I love prunes, you're eating a prune, this has got to be fate. What do you say?"

The man puts down his fruit and responds,

"It's a date!"

πŸ‘︎ 17k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2020
🚨︎ report
I got a mail saying that I won a million dollars because I could read Maps backwards

I thought to myself, "That's just Spam".

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2021
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Yes, good one
πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dariomemes
πŸ“…︎ Mar 11 2021
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It would suck not being able to eat bread :')
πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DarknesTheElite
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2021
🚨︎ report
A priest, a pastor and a rabbit entered a clinic to donate blood. Nurse asked the rabbit what his blood type is

He replied " I am probably a Type O"

πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tomatosoup91
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2021
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Just read that FED X are merging with UPS and now will be known as....

FED UP.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2021
🚨︎ report
I havent read a book in ages. So i decided to start with a book of how clocks work.

It was about time!!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/robconone
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2021
🚨︎ report
Why can’t a nose be 12 inches?

Cuz then it would be a foot

πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/makecents91
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2021
🚨︎ report
A technique that has been used for decades
πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AM10_
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2021
🚨︎ report
Whatsapp has changed its feature previously known as β€˜marked as read’

To Mark has read

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ssigea
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2021
🚨︎ report
*Whose/You're
πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dickiedaydream
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2021
🚨︎ report
I was reading a book about an immortal horse the other day.

It was impossible to put down

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rhshi14
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16 2021
🚨︎ report
Every day, my teacher starts her class by reading a joke from r/dadjokes, but today she is absent.

So today, a subreddit.

πŸ‘︎ 25k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2020
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Cars ain't rocket.
πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2021
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I've been reading so many horrible things about drinking and smoking recently, that I've made a firm new year's resolution..

..NO MORE READING !!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2021
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Saw this from a web comic I read and had to share <3
πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2021
🚨︎ report
My teacher likes to start every day by reading a joke from Reddit. She was sick the other day, so

A subreddit.

πŸ‘︎ 114
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Such-Fig-3879
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2021
🚨︎ report
I’m reading a horror story in Braille, something bad is going to happen

I can feel it

Credits- u/Wyzeman3283

πŸ‘︎ 40
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πŸ‘€︎ u/matt12992
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2021
🚨︎ report
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity.

It's impossible to put down.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pattersonjeffa
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2021
🚨︎ report
I'm reading a horror story in Braille.

Something bad is about to happen. I can feel it.

πŸ‘︎ 51
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πŸ‘€︎ u/klwill1192
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2021
🚨︎ report
A priest, a pastor, and a rabbit entered a clinic to donate blood.

The nurse asked the rabbit: "What's your blood type?"

"I'm probably a Type O", said the rabbit.

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/professorf
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2021
🚨︎ report
i began to read a horror book in braille.......

Something bad is about to happen. I can feel it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hannahunfiltered
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2021
🚨︎ report
I got an email from Google Earth saying it can β€œread maps backwards” and I thought

β€œThat’s just spam.”

πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Merlin-5
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call a princess who leaves you on read?

Seenderella.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/evilmaker
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2021
🚨︎ report

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