I have many pictures for you to judgulate. No, I am not someone who is constantly told they are ugly, nor am I someone who is really told they are attractive. Like pretty much 99% percent of the people on the planet, I just walk around, breathing air and eating food. Nobody really goes out of their way to tell me anything! Which is why I have come here.
This is a throwaway.
This is me sitting down looking at a camera with my hair the longest it's ever been, and a vacation beard. I feel I have a perpetually weak chin and a large nose.
This is me kind of awkwardly posing in a car. I have a REALLY hard time smiling for pictures because I hate showing my teeth, and tend to smirk when I don't. First world problems. I prefer having a scruff because it hides my weak chin, and again, balances out the large nose.
This is a dirty picture. But it is SFW. I hate my chin, and have no idea why I was duckfacing.
For the ultimate in brutal judginess, this is my passport picture.
I also hate that I don't think I actually look like 'myself' in pictures...does anyone else get that feeling?
Anyhow...ttfn
Do your worst!
For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.
I said "hey look, an escaPEA"
No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!
Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂
Pilot on me!!
They’re on standbi
Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.
This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.
If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.
Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.
What did 0 say to 8 ?
" Nice Belt "
So What did 3 say to 8 ?
" Hey, you two stop making out "
I won't be doing that today!
You take away their little brooms
This morning, my 4 year old daughter.
Daughter: I'm hungry
Me: nerves building, smile widening
Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.
She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.
Thank you all for listening.
There hasn't been a post all year!
It’s pronounced “Noel.”
After all his first name is No-vac
What, then, is Chinese rap?
Edit:
Notable mentions from the comments:
-
Spanish/Swedish/Swiss/Serbian hits
-
French/Finnish art
-
Country/Canadian rap
-
Chinese/Country/Canadian rock
-
Turkish/Tunisian/Taiwanese rap
There hasn't been a single post this year!
(Happy 2022 from New Zealand)
Bob
Just to clarify, 12345678
So that I could frequently say, "I am going to walk 5 miles now."
Edit: My most popular post on Reddit! 😀 Thank you for the awards.
Me grabbing a soda from my (what I thought was) half full 12pk...
Notices there's only 2;
Me: "Awe man... This is a damn bird box!" Her: "What the hell does that mean?!" Me: (Pulls both cans out & shows them to her) "It's only got Toucans."
I'm not ashamed to admit the look on her face was glorious.
I was just sitting there doing nothing.
“BOOM”?!
"That's what they're fighting about."
Because his Visa didn’t work.
Because the audience only responds in a low ha
A happy Uncle.....
"Beauty, because beauty is in the eye of the bee-holder!"
I’d never seen him be 4.
Ice-olation.
She's only eleven and says she came up with that by herself. I'm so proud 😭😭😭
"No, it doesn't."
