He had to walk ten miles north to the nearest town. By the time he arrived he was famished, so he ran to the nearest diner and asked for the quickest meal possible. The server arrives and gives him a plate that was meant for a delivery, the rabbi eats most of the food and after he’s finished he realizes he didn’t know what he ate. Scared, he asks the server “Is this pork?” The server says “No, iss lamb.”
And the bartender yells out "what is this? A joke?"
Then the rabbi says: "Just give me a tea, so I can become an overused joke."
I know what you're thinking 'thats a little unorthodox'.
He was hit in the temple.
The nurse asked the rabbit: "What's your blood type?"
"I'm probably a Type O", said the rabbit.
To become rejuvenated.
The rabbit says "I think I'm a type O"
As many as you want just don’t use eleaven...
Theres this Jewish man who has a son who leaves home and decides to convert to Christianity. He confides in his friend who goes “dude you’re not gonna believe this, my son did the same thing he left home, came back and was all of a sudden Christian.” They decided this problem was getting out of hand so they go see their Rabbi and ask him what to do. The Rabbi goes “you’re not gonna believe this my son also left home and converted to Christianity. This is getting out of hand we have to talk to God”. So they go to God and tell him their stories about how Christianity is running rampant through their community and ask for his guidance. God says “Guys you’re not gonna believe this.”
"well I walked right into that one, didn't I?"
Key L'Chaim.
Be careful what Jewish for, you just might get hit
A priest, a minister, and a rabbi want to see who’s best at his job. So they each go into the woods, find a bear, and attempt to convert it. Later they get together. The priest begins: “When I found the bear, I read to him from the Catechism and sprinkled him with holy water. Next week is his First Communion.”
“I found a bear by the stream,” says the minister, “and preached God’s holy word. The bear was so mesmerized that he let me baptize him.”
They both look down at the rabbi, who is lying on a gurney in a body cast. “Looking back,” he says, “maybe I shouldn’t have started with the circumcision.”
The al pastor says, "I think might be a..." The bartender cuts him off, "Hey, no outside food allowed."
Hebrewed it
HE-BREWS IT!
He was a Torah Borer
The rabbit says, “I think I might be a typo.”
The troll replied, "Silly Rabbi, kicks are for Trids!"
...and ends up on the Island of Trid. The people there are starving and explain to the pastor that it’s because whenever they try to harvest the fruit at the top of the mountain, the nasty giant comes out of his cave and boots them all back down the hill. This infuriates the pastor who then declares that tomorrow he will join them on their next attempt. The next day they all march up the mountain together, and sure enough, out comes the giant who proceeds to kick all of the locals back down the hill leaving only the new guy to gather fruit at his leisure. Finally, he stops and asks the giant, “Well, aren’t you going to knock me off the mountain?”. Shaking his head, the giant says, “Silly rabbi, kicks are for Trids”.
A Rabbi walks into an elevator with a guy in it already. The guy asks the Rabbi what he’s doing there, in which the Rabbi replies, “I’m here for a Bris (circumcision).” The guy then asks, “How much do you make doing that?” The Rabbi says, “I don’t do it for the money. I just do it for the tip.”
Begone, dickhead!
Because he got no severance pay.
They had a nice time.
The bartender looks at them and says "What is this, some kind of joke?"
The rabbit says: "I think i am a Type O."
The bartender looks at them and says, “what is this a joke?”
The bartender says, "What is this? Some kind of joke?"
The bartender sees them and says , "Wait, is this some kind of joke ?"
The bartender looks up and says, what is this some kind of joke?
Because he was a Torah Borer
and the bartender says, "What is this, a joke?"
The rabbit says, “I think I might be type o.”
The rabbit says, “I think I might be a type O.”
Just wondering.
"Wait a minute. Is this some kind of joke?"
