What do you call R-rated puns
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︎ Jan 13 2021
Why canβt kitties watch r-rated movies?
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︎ May 29 2020
Rated R for Ridiculous
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︎ Aug 24 2019
Why was the movie about string instruments in a mafia,rated r?
Because it had too much violins.
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︎ Jul 11 2019
The new "Joker" movie is rated R for Strong bloody violence, language, disturbing behavior and brief sexual images"..
I guess you could say that the "Joker" without an R is just a joke.
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︎ Oct 15 2019
Why was the orchestra rated R?
Because it contained alot of violin
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︎ Mar 26 2017
I was taught to never use the Oxford comma
by Mrs. Henderson, my high school English teacher and a first-rate whore.
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︎ Dec 09 2020
You know why my jokes are so cheesy?
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︎ Dec 05 2020
What do you call a snake that's 3.14 meters long?
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︎ Aug 30 2020
A steak pie will cost you $2.50 in Jamaica, in Barbados its $3
These are the pie rates of the Caribbean
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︎ Jan 23 2021
So proud of my daughter for this one... "Why do fishes swim in salt water?"
Because pepper would make them sneeze!
She's six. She's awesome.
EDIT: Woo highest rated post, thanks to my kid. Also, I never said she wrote it! She just told it to me. So there.
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︎ Jun 03 2020
I once had a 2nd shift job, 3pm-11pm.
They even had a shift differential!
After my first couple weeks I received a case of hotdogs along with my paycheck. I thought nothing of it, but then it happened again next payday, and honestly the paycheck felt a little short.
I approached my boss and asked him what the deal was.
He said "your paycheck? Yeah that's just your day rates."
"And the hot dogs?" I asked
"Nitrates"
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︎ Jan 27 2021
A slice of key line pie in Jamaica is 2.75, while a slice in the Bahamas is 3.50.
Those are the pie rates of the Caribbean
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︎ Jan 26 2021
USPS Questions
Should tortillas be sent flat rate?
Is armor headgear sent over knight?
Is an addicts mail tracked?
Is mail to Gold's gym sent bulk rate?
Should mail to a school's kindergarten be sent 1st class?
Should the IRS send return receipts?
just wondering...
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︎ Jan 18 2021
Why couldn't the 11 year old get into the pirate movie?
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︎ Dec 05 2020
An apple pie in Jamaica is Β£1.50, a cherry pie in Barbados is Β£1.60 and a mince pie in Trinidad is Β£1.80.
These are the pie rates of the Caribbean
Ill see myself out
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︎ Oct 27 2020
I'd have to rate this pun on a sliding scale [xpost from /r/musicmemes]
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︎ May 11 2017
Why havenβt aliens visited us yet?
They saw the rating- only one star.
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︎ Nov 04 2020
Breaking News: Cornwall has been placed in Tier 4 lockdown.
Hundreds of pirates returned home to Penzance to celebrate Christmas with their families.
Apparently the Arrrr rate has increased dramatically.
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︎ Dec 31 2020
Why is their ship called 3.14?
Because they are Ο-rates.
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︎ Nov 04 2020
I have a ship named 3.14
Itβll be full of pi-rates.
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︎ Sep 06 2020
Why are cemeteries always so full?
high density cities have higher growth rates than can keep up with changing land use needs
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︎ Nov 02 2020
Apple Pie is a ridiculous $5 a slice in the U.S., but only $1 in Jamaica, the Bahamas, & the Virgin Islands
Those are the pie rates of the Caribbean
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︎ Nov 11 2020
Music puns are an acquired taste
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︎ Jul 23 2018
Did you hear about the pirate movie?
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︎ Aug 17 2020
Today is a perfect day
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︎ Oct 10 2020
My calculus professor was 16 minutes late for the first class, 8 minutes late for the second, and 4 minutes late for the third.
At this rate, he will never be there on time.
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︎ Jun 20 2020
Always verify the price of your pie.
You never want to be surprised by a pie rate...arr!
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︎ Oct 10 2020
What did the parents do before watching pirate movies with their kids?
They checked if it was rated... ARRRRRR
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︎ May 12 2020
i was reading Yelp reviews of local mortuaries
found one that was rated cad-average.
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︎ Jul 26 2020
Told my wife that an apple pie cost $2.50 in Jamaica
She replied, β lol ok.β
Then I told her, βan apple pie cost $3.00 in the Bahamas...β
She asked, β Are we going to these places?β
I said, β No, honey. These are just the Pie-Rates of the Caribbean.β
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︎ Jul 12 2020
in the 1700βs there was a ship called 3.14
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︎ Jun 19 2020
The price of Pie ( x-post from /r/ScottishPeopleTwitter)
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︎ Jan 11 2018
I just swapped 50 raisins for 100 sultanas
I canβt believe the currant exchange rate
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︎ Jul 19 2020
I just wanted to leave a few dad jokes if that's okay with all dads in this subreddit....
1.bI refused to believe my dad was fired as a road worker for theft
But when I got home, all the signs were there.
- Yesterday, I was fired from a keyboard factory
Apparently, I wasn't putting enough shifts.
- My friends bet me $50 that I couldn't build a car out of spaghetti
You should've seen the look on their face when I drove pasta.
- The price of a slice of an apple pie is $2.50 in Jamaica and $3.00 in Bahamas
These are the pie-rates of the Caribbean.
- "Welcome to the Plastic Surgery Addicts group", a man said.
"Btw I have to say I'm very disappointed to see only a few new faces this week."
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︎ Aug 26 2020
Pennβs mom had three sisters who owned a pie shop...
Their menu was titled βThe Pie Rates of Pennβs Auntsβ.
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︎ Jul 20 2020
A chicken pie in Jamaica costs Β£2.00. A chicken pie in Trinidad costs Β£2.14. A chicken pie in St Kitts costs Β£2.09.
These are the pie rates of the Caribbean.
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︎ Jun 28 2020
In Jamaica apple pie costs $2 a slice while in the Bahamas a slice of cherry pie costs $3.
These are the pie rates of the Caribbean.
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︎ Oct 25 2020
A slice of apple pie in Jamaica is $2.00. It is $2.50 in the Bahamas.
These are the pie rates of the Caribbean
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︎ Aug 14 2020
Why is that ship called 3.14?
Because itβs filled with Ο-rates.
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︎ Sep 06 2020
A slice of apple pie is $2.50 in Jamaica and $3.00 in the Bahamas.
These are the pie rates of the Caribbean
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︎ Jun 15 2020
A slice of pie in the Bahamas is $2.00, a slice of pie in Jamaica is $2.50...
The Pie-rates of the Caribbean
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︎ Aug 22 2020
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