All the Harry Potter movies should have been rated R.

Too much cursing.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 40
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 02 2021
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What do you call R-rated puns

Groan-up jokes

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ny8ry8
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 13 2021
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Why can’t kitties watch r-rated movies?

Too much purrfanity.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/mrscluna
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 29 2020
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Rated R for Ridiculous
πŸ‘οΈŽ 46
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/puntasticuser
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 24 2019
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Why was the movie about string instruments in a mafia,rated r?

Because it had too much violins.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Tiramisuafficionado
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 11 2019
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The new "Joker" movie is rated R for Strong bloody violence, language, disturbing behavior and brief sexual images"..

I guess you could say that the "Joker" without an R is just a joke.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/grmnlad
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 15 2019
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Why was the orchestra rated R?

Because it contained alot of violin

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ZeonPeonTree
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 26 2017
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r/movies didn't think this was very funny maybe you will. Actual convo: SO: Captain Phillips is only rated PG-13 it's about Pirates and kidnapping I thought it would be rated R. Me: Arrr
πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/jeffhayford
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 18 2013
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A slice of apple pie is $2.50 in Jamaica and $3 in the Bahamas

These are the pie rates of the Caribbean.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 586
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Merlin-5
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 02 2021
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I was taught to never use the Oxford comma

by Mrs. Henderson, my high school English teacher and a first-rate whore.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/SummonedShenanigans
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 09 2020
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Pecan pie costs 3$ in Jamaica, but it costs $4 in Cuba

These are the pie-rates of the Caribbean.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 19
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Low_Acanthisitta6716
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 19 2021
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What do you call a snake that's 3.14 meters long?

A pi-thon

πŸ‘οΈŽ 192
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/flippantteacup
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 30 2020
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You know why my jokes are so cheesy?

Because they're g-rated.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 28
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/salawm
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 05 2020
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So proud of my daughter for this one... "Why do fishes swim in salt water?"

Because pepper would make them sneeze!

She's six. She's awesome.

EDIT: Woo highest rated post, thanks to my kid. Also, I never said she wrote it! She just told it to me. So there.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 16k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/evanphi
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 03 2020
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I once had a 2nd shift job, 3pm-11pm.

They even had a shift differential!

After my first couple weeks I received a case of hotdogs along with my paycheck. I thought nothing of it, but then it happened again next payday, and honestly the paycheck felt a little short.

I approached my boss and asked him what the deal was.

He said "your paycheck? Yeah that's just your day rates."

"And the hot dogs?" I asked

"Nitrates"

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ServiceB4Self
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 27 2021
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USPS Questions

Should tortillas be sent flat rate? Is armor headgear sent over knight? Is an addicts mail tracked? Is mail to Gold's gym sent bulk rate? Should mail to a school's kindergarten be sent 1st class? Should the IRS send return receipts? just wondering...

πŸ‘οΈŽ 12
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/bolt470
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 18 2021
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I'd have to rate this pun on a sliding scale [xpost from /r/musicmemes]
πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/zonination
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 11 2017
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An apple pie in Jamaica is Β£1.50, a cherry pie in Barbados is Β£1.60 and a mince pie in Trinidad is Β£1.80.

These are the pie rates of the Caribbean

Ill see myself out

πŸ‘οΈŽ 372
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/APunchToThePuss
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 27 2020
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Why couldn't the 11 year old get into the pirate movie?

It was rated R

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Hud_is_on
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 05 2020
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Why haven’t aliens visited us yet?

They saw the rating- only one star.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 86
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/SZT2
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 04 2020
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Breaking News: Cornwall has been placed in Tier 4 lockdown.

Hundreds of pirates returned home to Penzance to celebrate Christmas with their families.

Apparently the Arrrr rate has increased dramatically.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/1963Jan
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 31 2020
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Why is their ship called 3.14?

Because they are Ο€-rates.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 56
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Winguin_rtl
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 04 2020
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Music puns are an acquired taste
πŸ‘οΈŽ 11k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Bored_Blod
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 23 2018
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I have a ship named 3.14

It’ll be full of pi-rates.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 67
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/sarcasticpremed
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 06 2020
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Why are cemeteries always so full?

high density cities have higher growth rates than can keep up with changing land use needs

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Poortio
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 02 2020
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Apple Pie is a ridiculous $5 a slice in the U.S., but only $1 in Jamaica, the Bahamas, & the Virgin Islands

Those are the pie rates of the Caribbean

πŸ‘οΈŽ 12
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/professorf
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 11 2020
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Did you hear about the pirate movie?

It’s β€œrated aarrr”

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/AndrewZabar
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 17 2020
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Today is a perfect day

I would rate it 10/10

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/rtgurley
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 10 2020
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My calculus professor was 16 minutes late for the first class, 8 minutes late for the second, and 4 minutes late for the third.

At this rate, he will never be there on time.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 138
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 20 2020
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What did the parents do before watching pirate movies with their kids?

They checked if it was rated... ARRRRRR

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/KnifeLegend19
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 12 2020
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Always verify the price of your pie.

You never want to be surprised by a pie rate...arr!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/GlassDeviant
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 10 2020
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i was reading Yelp reviews of local mortuaries

found one that was rated cad-average.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/berninicaco3
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 26 2020
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The price of Pie ( x-post from /r/ScottishPeopleTwitter)
πŸ‘οΈŽ 3k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/live4lifelegit
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 11 2018
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Told my wife that an apple pie cost $2.50 in Jamaica

She replied, β€œ lol ok.”

Then I told her, β€œan apple pie cost $3.00 in the Bahamas...”

She asked, β€œ Are we going to these places?”

I said, β€œ No, honey. These are just the Pie-Rates of the Caribbean.”

πŸ‘οΈŽ 50
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Datsm1015
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 12 2020
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in the 1700’s there was a ship called 3.14

it belonged to Ο€ rates

πŸ‘οΈŽ 82
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/sleepcow
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 19 2020
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A slice of pie is $2.50 in Jamaica, and $3.00 in the Bahamas.

These are the pie rates of the Caribbean.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 16
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/rubNTugInc
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 13 2021
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A steak pie will cost you $2.50 in Jamaica, in Barbados its $3

These are the pie rates of the Caribbean

πŸ‘οΈŽ 27
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Im_In-corg-nito
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 23 2021
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A slice of key line pie in Jamaica is 2.75, while a slice in the Bahamas is 3.50.

Those are the pie rates of the Caribbean

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/SkyHooksNGrannyShots
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 26 2021
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In Jamaica apple pie costs $2 a slice while in the Bahamas a slice of cherry pie costs $3.

These are the pie rates of the Caribbean.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/GotMyOrangeCrush
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 25 2020
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A slice of apple pie in Jamaica is $2.00. It is $2.50 in the Bahamas.

These are the pie rates of the Caribbean

πŸ‘οΈŽ 115
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/itsa_sharptooth
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 14 2020
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Why is that ship called 3.14?

Because it’s filled with Ο€-rates.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Scottspears89
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 06 2020
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A slice of apple pie is $2.50 in Jamaica and $3.00 in the Bahamas.

These are the pie rates of the Caribbean

πŸ‘οΈŽ 258
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Spu356
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 15 2020
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