All the Harry Potter movies should have been rated R.

Too much cursing.

πŸ‘︎ 40
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call R-rated puns

Groan-up jokes

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ny8ry8
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2021
🚨︎ report
Why can’t kitties watch r-rated movies?

Too much purrfanity.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mrscluna
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2020
🚨︎ report
Rated R for Ridiculous
πŸ‘︎ 46
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/puntasticuser
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2019
🚨︎ report
Why was the movie about string instruments in a mafia,rated r?

Because it had too much violins.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2019
🚨︎ report
The new "Joker" movie is rated R for Strong bloody violence, language, disturbing behavior and brief sexual images"..

I guess you could say that the "Joker" without an R is just a joke.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/grmnlad
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2019
🚨︎ report
Why was the orchestra rated R?

Because it contained alot of violin

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ZeonPeonTree
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2017
🚨︎ report
r/movies didn't think this was very funny maybe you will. Actual convo: SO: Captain Phillips is only rated PG-13 it's about Pirates and kidnapping I thought it would be rated R. Me: Arrr
πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jeffhayford
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2013
🚨︎ report
A slice of apple pie is $2.50 in Jamaica and $3 in the Bahamas

These are the pie rates of the Caribbean.

πŸ‘︎ 586
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Merlin-5
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2021
🚨︎ report
I was taught to never use the Oxford comma

by Mrs. Henderson, my high school English teacher and a first-rate whore.

πŸ‘︎ 5k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2020
🚨︎ report
Pecan pie costs 3$ in Jamaica, but it costs $4 in Cuba

These are the pie-rates of the Caribbean.

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call a snake that's 3.14 meters long?

A pi-thon

πŸ‘︎ 192
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/flippantteacup
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2020
🚨︎ report
You know why my jokes are so cheesy?

Because they're g-rated.

πŸ‘︎ 28
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/salawm
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2020
🚨︎ report
So proud of my daughter for this one... "Why do fishes swim in salt water?"

Because pepper would make them sneeze!

She's six. She's awesome.

EDIT: Woo highest rated post, thanks to my kid. Also, I never said she wrote it! She just told it to me. So there.

πŸ‘︎ 16k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/evanphi
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03 2020
🚨︎ report
I once had a 2nd shift job, 3pm-11pm.

They even had a shift differential!

After my first couple weeks I received a case of hotdogs along with my paycheck. I thought nothing of it, but then it happened again next payday, and honestly the paycheck felt a little short.

I approached my boss and asked him what the deal was.

He said "your paycheck? Yeah that's just your day rates."

"And the hot dogs?" I asked

"Nitrates"

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ServiceB4Self
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2021
🚨︎ report
USPS Questions

Should tortillas be sent flat rate? Is armor headgear sent over knight? Is an addicts mail tracked? Is mail to Gold's gym sent bulk rate? Should mail to a school's kindergarten be sent 1st class? Should the IRS send return receipts? just wondering...

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bolt470
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2021
🚨︎ report
I'd have to rate this pun on a sliding scale [xpost from /r/musicmemes]
πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/zonination
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2017
🚨︎ report
An apple pie in Jamaica is Β£1.50, a cherry pie in Barbados is Β£1.60 and a mince pie in Trinidad is Β£1.80.

These are the pie rates of the Caribbean

Ill see myself out

πŸ‘︎ 372
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/APunchToThePuss
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2020
🚨︎ report
Why couldn't the 11 year old get into the pirate movie?

It was rated R

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Hud_is_on
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2020
🚨︎ report
Why haven’t aliens visited us yet?

They saw the rating- only one star.

πŸ‘︎ 86
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SZT2
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2020
🚨︎ report
Breaking News: Cornwall has been placed in Tier 4 lockdown.

Hundreds of pirates returned home to Penzance to celebrate Christmas with their families.

Apparently the Arrrr rate has increased dramatically.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/1963Jan
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2020
🚨︎ report
Why is their ship called 3.14?

Because they are Ο€-rates.

πŸ‘︎ 56
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Winguin_rtl
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2020
🚨︎ report
Music puns are an acquired taste
πŸ‘︎ 11k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Bored_Blod
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2018
🚨︎ report
I have a ship named 3.14

It’ll be full of pi-rates.

πŸ‘︎ 67
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sarcasticpremed
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2020
🚨︎ report
Why are cemeteries always so full?

high density cities have higher growth rates than can keep up with changing land use needs

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Poortio
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2020
🚨︎ report
Apple Pie is a ridiculous $5 a slice in the U.S., but only $1 in Jamaica, the Bahamas, & the Virgin Islands

Those are the pie rates of the Caribbean

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/professorf
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the pirate movie?

It’s β€œrated aarrr”

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AndrewZabar
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2020
🚨︎ report
Today is a perfect day

I would rate it 10/10

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/rtgurley
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2020
🚨︎ report
My calculus professor was 16 minutes late for the first class, 8 minutes late for the second, and 4 minutes late for the third.

At this rate, he will never be there on time.

πŸ‘︎ 138
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the parents do before watching pirate movies with their kids?

They checked if it was rated... ARRRRRR

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/KnifeLegend19
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2020
🚨︎ report
Always verify the price of your pie.

You never want to be surprised by a pie rate...arr!

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/GlassDeviant
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2020
🚨︎ report
i was reading Yelp reviews of local mortuaries

found one that was rated cad-average.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/berninicaco3
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2020
🚨︎ report
The price of Pie ( x-post from /r/ScottishPeopleTwitter)
πŸ‘︎ 3k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/live4lifelegit
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2018
🚨︎ report
Told my wife that an apple pie cost $2.50 in Jamaica

She replied, β€œ lol ok.”

Then I told her, β€œan apple pie cost $3.00 in the Bahamas...”

She asked, β€œ Are we going to these places?”

I said, β€œ No, honey. These are just the Pie-Rates of the Caribbean.”

πŸ‘︎ 50
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Datsm1015
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2020
🚨︎ report
in the 1700’s there was a ship called 3.14

it belonged to Ο€ rates

πŸ‘︎ 82
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sleepcow
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19 2020
🚨︎ report
A slice of pie is $2.50 in Jamaica, and $3.00 in the Bahamas.

These are the pie rates of the Caribbean.

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/rubNTugInc
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2021
🚨︎ report
A steak pie will cost you $2.50 in Jamaica, in Barbados its $3

These are the pie rates of the Caribbean

πŸ‘︎ 27
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Im_In-corg-nito
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2021
🚨︎ report
A slice of key line pie in Jamaica is 2.75, while a slice in the Bahamas is 3.50.

Those are the pie rates of the Caribbean

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2021
🚨︎ report
In Jamaica apple pie costs $2 a slice while in the Bahamas a slice of cherry pie costs $3.

These are the pie rates of the Caribbean.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/GotMyOrangeCrush
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2020
🚨︎ report
A slice of apple pie in Jamaica is $2.00. It is $2.50 in the Bahamas.

These are the pie rates of the Caribbean

πŸ‘︎ 115
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/itsa_sharptooth
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2020
🚨︎ report
Why is that ship called 3.14?

Because it’s filled with Ο€-rates.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Scottspears89
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2020
🚨︎ report
A slice of apple pie is $2.50 in Jamaica and $3.00 in the Bahamas.

These are the pie rates of the Caribbean

πŸ‘︎ 258
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Spu356
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2020
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.