A list of puns related to "Q School"
Bison
One of the funniest school puns; science puns
Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium? It went OK. If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, theyβd be alloys.
The optimist sees the glass half full. The pessimist sees the glass half empty. The chemist sees the glass completely full, half with liquid and half with air.
If youβre not part of the solution, youβre part of the precipitate.
A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He says, βNo, Iβm traveling light.β
Did you just mutate for a stop codon? Because youβre talking nonsense!
How did the English major define microtome on his biology exam? An itsy bitsy book.
What did Gregor Mendel say when he founded genetics? Woopea!
Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero? Heβs 0K now.
I wish I was adenine, then, I could get paired with U.
Anyone know any jokes about sodium? Na
Two chemists go into a bar. The first one says βI think Iβll have an H2O.β The second one says βI think Iβll have an H2O tooβ β and he died.
A couple of biologists had twins. They named one Jessica and the other Control.
Did you hear the one about the recycling triplets? Their names are Polly, Ethel, and Ian.
Why can you never trust atoms? They make up everything!
What element is a girlβs future best friend? Carbon.
I had to make these bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon.
Why are chemists great for solving problems? They have all the solutions.
What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms? A ferrous wheel.
What did the male stamen say to the female pistil? I like your βstyle.β
Iβm reading a great book on anti-gravity. I canβt put it down.
I have a new theory on inertia but it doesnβt seem to be gaining momentum.
Why canβt atheists solve exponential equations? Because they donβt believe in higher powers.
Schrodingerβs cat walks into a bar. And doesnβt.
Do you know the name Pavlov? It rings a bell.
What does a subatomic duck say? Quark!
A neutron walks into a bar and asks how much for a beer. Bartender replies βFor you, no chargeβ.
Two atoms are walking along. One of them says: βOh, no, I think I lost an electron.β βAre you sure?β
βYe
... keep reading on reddit β‘Sundae school.
I just send them to school in Justin Bieber shirt and Crocs and let the other kids beat them instead.
His objective is to hook up with fancy, Eastern girls. He sees a couple and walks up to them:
"Where do y'all girls go to school at?"
They say "Yale"
He says "WHERE DO Y'ALL GIRLS GO TO SCHOOL AT?!?!"
Sunday school
This guy walks out of a store screaming how they're cheats and frauds. He then proceeds to knock over a mannequin and a few other decorations.
He then buys a coffee, is a jerk to the cashier and then spills some on the floor. He walks away and snaps his fingers at the janitor to clean it up.
The last straw was when he walks up to a group of school kids and starts ranting about how they should drop out of school and rise up against the establishment.
Security finally escorted him out kicking and screaming. Finally things calmed down a bit.
All in all, it was just another dick in the mall.
Why, the school buzz, of course!
They spend a lot of time in schools
Finally my high school Karate lessons came to some use.
New to this subreddit. I know the point of this thing is to share funny jokes, but since I'm a newbie I hope you'll allow me this one opportunity to make a serious but friendly PSA: If you're lucky enough to have a father, don't take him for granted. Even when they scold or punish you, trust their judgement, it's likely for good reason even if you can't see it at the time. When I was a child I narrowly avoided a horrific accident in which 4 of my friends were electrocuted at a playground we used to play on every day after school. I used to hate my old man for being so strict and disciplining me when all of my friends got to run wild, but if it weren't for him I definitely would have been electrocuted too that day. But I wasn't. I was grounded.
At my high school thereβs a tradition for the seniors to get sweatshirts with punny names on the back. Iβve already thought of mine but my friend is at a loss. Her name is Lierin, accent on the second syllable, pronounced βLee-air-inβ. any ideas?
So I'm going to nursery school.
I told her to call the cheerleading squad instead. Figured they might know the school spirit.
My wife and I were doing a bit of roleplay in the bedroom. I had just handcuffed her to the bedhead when we heard one of the kids turning the door handle. I quickly threw the covers over the both of us and in walked my 7 year old son. He noticed the handcuffs, went really quiet and had this confused look on his face. After 15 seconds or so he asked my wife why she was handcuffed to the bed. She blushed and had to come up with a lie on the spot. She stammered out that daddy was just practicing with the handcuffs for his new job as a policeman and that my son should just go back into the lounge room and watch some TV.
A few weeks later I was asked to careers day at my son's school. My son stood up with me in front of the class and proudly announced his daddy was a policeman and that I lock up baddies. I didn't want to embarass him so I just played along. It turns out I was the one who was about to be embarassed. One of the kids asked if my son had ever seen me at work. My son said no but that he had seen me practicing using handcuffs on his mom. It went right over the kids heads but the teacher was very amused and couldn't stop giggling. I guess my wife and I would have been the hot topic in the staff room that day.
I don't get why teachers take a lot of time grading. Just go to an elementary school because they have a room of 30 second graders. They can literally get their grading done in under a minute!
"Dad, there was a sign that said 'Slow Down, School Ahead'".
Dad - proudly cries
by Mrs. Henderson, my high school English teacher and a first-rate whore.
She then said I need to pay more attention at school pick up.
Fish, because they spend all their time in schools
Home-schooling
I told my dad the school was having a makeup day to cover any missed work, and he, typical dad, goes βtheyβre teaching you to put on makeup?β (Iβm a straight male)
When a school of small fish stop suddenly.
The ruler
Credit to my elementary school niece
Because he had no body!
Tomorrow is joke day at school for my kindergartner so I went to tell my daughter a joke to tell. Tells me she already had one and tells me this! Lol proud dad..
I don't know what they're teaching kids in schools these days. I asked my son what rhymed with orange, and he said nothing. Nothing? Those two words don't even sound alike!
Because they have no Seoul.
Edit: Thanks for the support and for my first award everyone! I canβt take credit for the joke itself as a friend who passed a number of years made it up in high school, but Iβm sure heβd be ecstatic to see the number of updoots and laughter itβs brought.
They are not part of a school
He was protesting against violins in schools.
A School bus.
....and realise we went to school together.
Me: βHow do you know it was going to school?β
Iβll never forget that first day at school when the teacher asked did we know any French...
Because they have high-schools
Tony Soprano: So your father tells me youβre taking up Astronomy in college.
Kevin Bonpensiero: No, business.
Tony Soprano: Well how come he keeps saying youβre taking up space in school?
Thy spend their whole life in a school.
What did the Indian kid say to his mother when he left for school...?
Mumbai π
At my high school there's an annoying dude who hates puns so if you have any really bad ones I need you to comment...
I'm gonna send him to PUNintentiary!
I won't stop till he PUNches me!
Finally my high school karate lessons came to some use.
She then said I need to pay more attention at school pick up.
In sundae school.
Me: βHow do you know it was going to school?β
Sundae school
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.