My brother was pissed when he saw I mated his wife
He bet $100 I would lose that chess match.
why was the cow pissed with the tractor in a race ?
cause it was mooving faster than it
My wife is pissed at me. I made hard boiled eggs for breakfast this morning and let our 2 year old help peel them and he made a mess
I have been walking on eggshells ever since.
Mario’s gonna be pissed again
When he finds out trumps impeach again
I was pissed when I lost my job at the horse ranch
I was told it would be stable.
All my crabs were pissed at me after I told them I must cook and eat them...
Siri kept calling me Shirley this morning. I was starting to get really pissed off, and then I realized why...
I left my phone in Airplane mode
I remarried, and my new wife is pissed because of my poor navigation skills
She said our relationship wasn't going anywhere
Edit : She just packed her bag and right
A young boy was walking to school when he saw a dead dog in the road. When he got to school he told his teacher what he saw. “How do you know if the dog was dead?” She asked the boy. “I know because I pissed in his ear.” The teacher looked horrified. “What do you mean you pissed in his ear??”
‘I went up to him and went “Pssstt!” in his ear and he didn’t move.’
This dude got really pissed at me for drawing a gun on him today
He said he's seen better and asked me to draw it again.
I farted in the Apple store and everyone got pissed at me
Not my fault they don't have Windows
Our amputee friend was pissed when we hid his prosthetic arm...
He didn't find it humerus
My wife was really pissed when I told her I spent $1,000 on a new wallet......
I told her not to worry I’ll definitely get my money out of it.
When you drink beer you get pissed.
When you pee the next day, the beer gets pissed.
Kinda pissed, think I'm gonna dip.
I was pissed off at my buddy Mark who borrowed my dictionary and refuses to return it.
I said, “Mark, my words!”
Kid: Dad, let me be frank.... and if you say, “Hi Frank, I’m Dad”, I’m gonna be super pissed.
Dad: Gotcha, gonnabesuperpissed.
What do you call a pissed off redhead?
I’m really pissed that my friend stole my antique atlas.
It really means the world to me.
My friend got pissed and threw his joke book at me.
Luckily, I dodged it but all the jokes flew over my head.
Do you know why I was pissed off with the car salesman ?
He said he can make the sale but has zero percent interest
I spotted both girls named Riya together in my office and both were pissed off as I greeted them together.
Apparently di-hi-riya was not an efficient way to say hi to both.
If you rearrange the letters of “Postmen”. They get really pissed off.
My wife was extremely pissed off by my poor sense of direction...
So I packed up my stuff and right.
I showed my friend all the people waiting to hit me because I pissed them off.
What did the pissed off student say when he handed in his english test?
My neighbor pissed me off yesterday by playing the same Lionel Richie song over and over again.
My wife is really pissed that I spent a lot of money to buy a make your own perfume kit.
But it just made scents to me.
I went fishing today and caught 36 bluegill, each a slabber in its own right! I got home and dumped em in the kitchen basin, to clean. My wife got pissed!
No one respects the panfish sink decision...
My grandpa is still pissed off at the Japanese for Pearl Harbor.
I had to tell him that it was the Americans who made that movie.
Why was the detectives daughter always pissed at him?
Why was the T-REX so pissed off?
Cos his mama never hugged him.
What do you call a pissed of sailor?
Bill Gates: "Today I farted in an apple store and everybody was pissed.."
"Hey, its not my fault they don't have windows"
My wife is pissed that I got her a helium balloon for her birthday.
It didn’t go down very well.
I am pissed
Once a murderer walked into a urologist's office, took out a knife and pointed it at him
"What is the meaning of all this?" the doctor asked
"Urine trouble" the murderer replied
My friend is really pissed that I made fun of his lazy eye.
He is having a hard time looking at me.
I'm so pissed off I can barely see straight! I had an argument with this fucking mute and you know what he said to me?
Kid: I'm going to be frank with you, bu- and if you say "Hi Frank, I'm Dad!" I'm gonna be super pissed!
Okay, gonnabesuperpissed.
If you rearrange the letters of postmen, they'll get really pissed at you.
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