Personally, I don't believe in bros before hoes, or hoes before bros.
There needs to be a balance.
A homie-hoe-stasis, if you will.
I've decided to quit my job as a personal trainer because I'm not big enough or strong enough.
I've just handed in my too weak notice.
A chemist froze himself to -273.15°C and everyone called him crazy but personally,
Kinder Person Award goes to...
What does a person who fakes injuries like to drink?
To the person who stole my spectacles. I will find you.
Personally, though I enjoy the sport, I could never date a tennis player.
Love means nothing to them.
What do you call a person missing 75%, of their spine?
What do you call a person who eats other people slowly?
The person who invented Russian roulette
“Studies show that 1 person is dying every 30 seconds from COVID-19 in the U.S.A...”
To the person that stole my office 365 subscription,
I will find you. You have my Word.
What do you call a smart person that wears jeans?
When a short person waves at you, what do you call it?
TIL that Cardi B has a sister. She’s a personal trainer.
What do you call a lazy person that’s stoned?
According to ancient Japanese lore, the colour of a person’s aura changes when they die.
If someone yawns on tv and yawning is contagious, that person has a chance of being a superspreader and causing a short yawndemic 🐸
What do you call a person who is happy on Mondays?
A person who crushes can for a living is always sad
Because his job is Soda pressing
A person can be alpha male or a beta male but
Hulk is always a gamma male
My boss told me that he was going to fire the person with the worst posture
I have a hunch, it might be me.
I'm Buzz Aldrin, second person ever to step on the moon.....
The person who had once kidnapped me got released after serving 10 years in prison. Since then, I secretly follow him to his house every single day without his knowledge.
I guess I'm suffering from 'stalk home' syndrome.
I can always tell a person when they are lying, just by looking at them.
I can also tell when they are standing or sitting too.
I never take a horse's opinion personally.
They're always a bunch of neighsayers
How do you call when a person kills his best friend?
A cannibalistic tribe was arguing about which person they should eat first...
...when a frustrated cannibal threw up his hands.
What do you call a disabled person lying
I'm an antimatter type of person
Just looking for 1 positive experience
If you stink up another persons bathroom, you’re an asshole.
What do you call a person who points out the obvious
The person who points out the obvious
Who is the best person at the golf course to get to make coffee?
Why did the parasite infect the person who had many health problems?
At a conference there was the most courageous person who went by the name Sam. Before he got on the stage to deliver his impressive speech, all attendees begged him not to sing.
What does a blind person say when you give them sand paper?
Do degrees even matter as long as the person gets the job done?
What do you say when someone roasts a person with reddish-brown hair?
How many cats does a IT person own?
To the person that invented the number 0
Did you know you can actually listen to the blood in your veins?
You just have to listen varicosely
The person that invented Knock Knock Jokes
Should get a no bell prize.
To the person who took my iPhone off the dinner table, when I was distracted.
I hope you face time soon.
What do you call a person who eats other people slowly?
What do you call a deaf person ?
I decided to quit my job as a personal trainer because I’m not big enough or strong enough
I’ve just handed in my Too weak notice.
To the person that stole my copy of Microsoft Office
I will find you, you have my Word
To the person who invented 0...
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