Pasquinade Puns

LET'S GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Background: I happened to be traveling through Tennessee on my way to Florida when I stumbled upon a unique liquor store:

A Unique Liquor Store in Tennessee

Inside I met an interesting salesperson who knew a lot about bourbon. I asked what rare bourbons he had available and he said he had a bottle of “Maker’s 47”. I said I had not heard of that. He stated that many haven’t.

A Very Rare Bottle of Maker's 47

He went on to say that Maker’s tried many iterations of their expression before they found the one they wanted which they called “Maker’s 46”. The bottle I was shown was a formula that they did not select to sell. I asked him why it was called “Maker’s 47” and he said that “well, it was their 47th try with 47 staves. It has 47% ABV, and a mash bill of 47% wheat and 47% corn and is priced at $47. But he said no one really knows why they call it “Maker’s 47”.

I said 47 staves seems like a lot of extra staves for a single barrel. He said that “it is one oak stave from every state in the country except Alaska and Hawaii because they are too far away and that Washington D.C did not have any oak trees.” I did not question him on his response.

He went on to say that because I would be buying it in Tennessee it would technically be a Tennessee Whiskey and not bourbon. I said that I thought it had to go through the Lincoln County Process to be a Tennessee Whiskey. He said that is a myth. He said that Abraham Lincoln never lived in Tennessee and never made whiskey. He said “if you buy it in Tennessee and its whiskey, its Tennessee Whiskey”. Wow, I have so much to learn.

Owner: Beam Suntory

Region: Purchased in Tennessee

Price: $47

ABV: 47%

Age: 47 months

Mash Bill: 47% wheat, 47% corn, and other

A common mistake that people make before nosing is that they do not cleanse their nasal passages. I use the approach detailed here to prepare for an unbiased nosing: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vbVxQUI9FaE

Additionally in preparing for the taste test I perform this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vr4DmoeD2JY

Nose: I immediately picked up on the different oak nuances from

https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/pasquinade

Reading a History of Yarmouth wherein was buried this lovely run on sentence:

>He published an account of the life and reign of James I, written with much freedom, and displaying a thorough knowledge of Court intrigues; but the liberties he took in exposing the propensities of that monarch and his son towards the Catholic cause, brought upon him the vehement censure of the friends of the Stuart family, who said that he had written from conjectures rather than from records, and that his work was more like a pasquinade than an authentic history.

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

Do your worst!

They were cooked in Greece.

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

Don't you know a good pun is its own reword?

Because she wanted to see the task manager.

Heard they've been doing some shady business.

but then I remembered it was ground this morning.

Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale

Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments

BamBOO!

They’re on standbi

A play on words.

My daughter, Chewbecca, not so much.

Pilot on me!!

Christopher Walken

Nothing, he was gladiator.

Or would that be too forward thinking?

Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.

This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.

If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.

Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.