My girlfriend's dad got me while watching the Pan Am games.

Me: Where exactly is Uruguay?

Him: Next to My-uguay

  • Groaning *
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πŸ‘€︎ u/fads70
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2015
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How did the Beatles’ new skillet introduce himself to them?

β€œI am the egg pan.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hisdudeness9829
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2020
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My girlfriend says she might be pansexual...

Here is a screenshot. Me and my girlfriend were texting each other:

Her: One day I do want to try having sex with a girl just to see what it's like, but I think I'm just really open minded about it. Or I'm pansexual which my dad thinks I am.

Me: -I send her a picture of a frying pan- So does this turn you on? I knew you liked cooking, but I didn't know they had a word for it.

Her: I'm gonna kill you -_-

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πŸ‘€︎ u/J52
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2015
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Egg on the pan, egg on the plate

I (husband) am good at making egg dishes for breakfast. Me and the wifey were talking about the first time I met her family, when I made them an omelette with goat cheese and spinach. They were all very impressed.

Wifey: "My parents never cooked like that when I was growing up. For them, it was just egg on the pan, egg on the plate."

Me: "I can see how that would be unpleasant, especially if they didn't crack the shells first."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Fudgebert
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2013
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