You can tuna piano, but you can’t piano a tuna.
Whoops wrong sub
It's called plagiarism
One is disgusted by a rack of lamb and the other by a lack of ram…
Is it still called a beef?
i was like well damn
Pave-mint
It's a literal walk in the park.
It said "outlook not so good."
Thank you, this is an original.
It was here a minute ago
Supplies!!
Edit: ooooo! Thanks for the awards! I appreciate it! =D
But it turned out, none of you liked it.
Pig in a blanket 😄☝😭🐷
Should I print a sticker that says "Snape Kills Dumbledore" or "Hedwig Dies"?
In hindsight, I should have reddit.
P.S. My first Oc.
Martin Freeman, and Andy Serkis.
They also play roles in Lord of the Rings.
I guess that makes them the Tolkien white guys.
I give her a nightly dad joke from this forum.
Tonight she got me
Hey: what’s a kidnappers favorite shoes
Me: (not expecting a dad joke)I don’t know
Her: white vans
Me: speechless.
He was a Monster.
Lawyers kept saying I already lost my case
So I headed down to the library to see if they had a copy. The librarian said that my description rang a bell but she wasn’t sure if it was there or not.
She said:
I'm mature
I'm moral
I'm polite
And, by and large, I'm perfect
Don't know why she then accused me of having "a fundamental incapability to understand the proper use of apostrophes and spacing" though....
SO: Where do Rainbows go when they are bad?
Me: Idk you got me on that one..
SO: They go to Prism......
*crickets chirping*
SO: but dont worry its just a LIGHT sentence!
Feel free to downvote the shit outta me. I can take it.
The zoo keeper told me it was bread in captivity.
Is a deck of cards glued together.
Wookie mistake.
I don’t know how many people know this but there is an Instagram account (dadsaysjokes) that literally copies and pastes the jokes posted here. Even the typos.
They have a book. So if you posted an original joke here someone else is profiting from it.
Ya ya I know this is the internet yadda yadda yadda. I just didn’t know how many people were aware
A brewhaha
My how the stables have turned.
Edit: Wow guys, thanks for all the love!
So the rope goes outside and thinks for a minute. He twists himself up and messes up his hair and goes back in.
“Hey ain’t you that rope I just kicked outta here?” “Nope. I’m a frayed knot”
They’ll tell you
You bug me in ways I can't put into words
In other words, he was a super-calloused fragile mystic suffering from halitosis.
But I'm not buying it.
