There is only one you in the whole world...
One day the Canadians will take over the world....
Then you'll all be sorry.
There is one place in this world where you can truly love yourself.
I am currently one of the world record holders for the Rubik's Cube...
It has been 43 years and I still cannot solve it.
Ding heres a light joke to brighten up the world(three jokes in one) (;
Carolina Reaper is one of the spiciest peppers in the world. But they are not scary.
For the wise men once said: Don't fear the Reaper
With so many sporting events being delayed or cancelled, one sports TV outlet decided to televise the 'World Origami Championships'
The bible is one of the best-selling books in the world.
You could say it's very prophetable.
Did you hear the one about the world’s most honorable comedian?
He was a real stand-up guy.
An homage to a one-time teen star suspended from the Muppet*Vision ceiling, Disney World
Just got the Father-in-law with this one... Me: At Disney World parades they keep people in line with masking tape on the ground.
Father-in-Law: And do people actually adhere to it?
Me: No, cuz they put it sticky side down.
Why is Scotland, one of the most secure countries in the world?
They have the biggest Lochs
TV Narrator* This is a mallard. A mallard is a dabbling duck that breeds throughout the world. This one is in search of a mate. A female will lay 8 to 13 eggs.
Did you know that being an omelette chef at a ski resort is one of the most stressful jobs in the world?
Everyone has such high eggspectations
“Dad, did you know that one out of four kids in the world still faces hunger?”
Dad: Someone should immediately turn that kid around.
One person died during the manufacturing of the world's largest lenses.
He fell into the vat of molten optical glass and made a spectacle of himself.
One thing is for certain about the men who invented, built, and flew the world's first successful airplane at Kitty Hawk...
They were the Wright brothers for the job
We call it World War One in America
But Germany calls it World War Lost
My wife asked me, “Could you go to the store and buy one gallon of milk and if they have avocados, get 6.” When I came home with 6 gallons of milk, she shrieked, “Why in the world did you buy 6 gallons of milk!?”
I replied, “They had avocados.”
My friend just had three kids! He asked me what to name them. I said ‘James, Charles and Li Zhao’ He asked me why the last one was Li Zhao. So I said ‘Because every 3rd person born in this world is Chinese
My Uncle is one of the best farmers in the world
because he's always out standing in his field.
Grave diggers have one of the most serious jobs in the world. Every single time they do something wrong it’s a grave mistake.
This one is out of the world.
So I showed my grandma the solar system tattoo I got on my leg. She told me it took up too much space.
Just heard this one from the guy behind me talking about going to Sea World for spring break...
Son: Hey I want to go to Sea World!
Dad: Okay lets go!
He walks out with his son to the backyard.
Son: What are we doing here?
Dad: Look you can see the world from right here!
New Zealand is one of the remotest countries in the world
In fact, on average, we have about five remotes per household.
I think my 13 year old cousin is a dad. One who can save the world.
Received this text while watching Spain v Chile in the world cup. He's not a dad yet but I think he will be ok when he is one.
[18/6 21:05] Toddy: Chile are just too hot to handle
[18/6 21:05] Toddy: Sorry
Dadgamer pulled this one in a round of World of Tanks
o7, as we all know, is used to "salute" other players.
A friend of mine who's a father of 3 got sick of seeing this emoticon and said during the match:
"You folks really need to get your calendars checked, it's 2014, not '07"
With so many sporting events being delayed or cancelled, one sports TV outlet decided to televise the World Origami Championship.
One day in the near future, Canada will take over the world.
And then we will all be sorry.
One day, Canada is going to take of the entire world....
Then you'll all be sorry...
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