One Night Stand Puns

A man is getting together a old story of a young women than invites a guy for a forgeteble one night stand, to her department. She moves on, but he is sure that they "click" and that will be together forever. When she had another guy she waited in front of the door to see if he would ask to come in or not, if not she would give him another date, he thanks her for the date and wish her good night. After that when he walk back to his house, the stalker beats him so bad that it leaves the poor guy on a coma. She works, and goes to college on arts (I thing), The stalker is smart, and can trick people into helping him, and he also makes her life miserable(he sends "proof" to her job and school, that she hates judes and stuff).
She goes to his grandmother house, for protection but the stalker fallows her. She and her familie buy tickets to France to trick him, but they also hire a privet detective. The privet detective fallow the stalker, and tries to intimidate him. The stalker breaks into the PD office and leaks many documents, so that the PD gets kill.

Sorry if a mispell something.

Nut and bolt

I'm really struggling to cope with the fact that you slept with someone else so soon after dumping me.

It’s all I can seem to think about, the thought of you touching her body and she touching you in a very sexual way .. amongst many other details and the fact it happened over and over again. It’s killing me that these thoughts won’t stop.

I think of a tonne of questions everyday and they keep piling up

- Why was it so easy to replace me so fast?

- Why didnt you come talk to me to see if could've worked things out?

- Why after the first time when you say you regretted it you kept going back?

- Why didnt you just tell me the truth that week I asked you to come over?

- Did I even matter to you? Did the years we spent together mean anything?

- Was she worth losing everything we had for?

- How can you say you love me but literally be fucking another woman?

I was going through hell in that flat for those 3 months just hoping you’d come talk to me, for once I didn't chase you because I wanted you to show me that I mattered, it didnt even occur to me that you’d be already be in someone else’s bed. I feel so stupid now knowing that while I was crying every day trying to control my panic attacks, you were already with someone else.

I’ve tried to talk about it with you about this as its something that’s really causing me a lot of pain but your lack of willingness to talk about it and lack of remorse for it is really hurting me too, you've mentioned once that you regretted it and that was it. I’ve even tried asking you how this can be fixed but you have nothing to say around that too. Im forever terrified that you would do it again and again because now you think that its okay.

The more I think about it, the more I'm spiraling into this uncontrollable depression, its almost like its all hitting me now, you have no idea how many hours ive spent crying over it. Admittedly I haven't left the bed much in past 3 days because I just want to sleep and forget about everything.

I wanted to be with you so fucking bad, you have no idea! I wanted to spend a happy my life with you and the girls creating good memories together. I would’ve worked through any issues we were having because I wanted to be with you but you ruined everything.

No matter how much I love you and want to be with you, what you did was disrespectful, what you did showed me that I no longer had any value in your life. You threw away the 6 and a half years we had spent together for a h

But I bought a second one for the other side of my bed

I prefer two night stands. It makes my room look more symmetrical.

I am pregnant with a new one night stand and at the same time I'm in a lesbian relationship. She is willing to coparent with me and she wants us to be a family. I don't know if to tell the bio dad. My family is homophobic and will take time to accept my relationship. I love this women even though we are having complications with everything, mostly about living together because I'm not willing to give my pets away but we decided we will move in and need we are ready but for now we are together.

I have heard so many guys say in real life and on forums they throw caution to the wind and always go raw on a one night stand/girl they just started dating.

Yes I know going raw feels better than a condom but firstly...

STD’s are a real problem! and with a girl you are taking home from a bar or a girl you had one date with off Tinder before you fuck, you know nothing about her! You don’t know how many dudes have ploughed her raw, you don’t even know if she has even ever had a checkup or anything.

Secondly pregnancy! Now this is where my friend’s life is truly fucked. Just over a year ago he met a girl at a bar and went back to her place. She told him that she was on the pill (consistently for over a year) so it was safe to go in raw as it feels better. They banged and he never heard from her for a couple of months. Then he received the phone call every guy would dread saying she is pregnant with his kid. He asked how it could have happened with her being on the pill and she apologised saying she lied to him about being on the pill but at 30 she felt her time was decreasing to have a child and was desperate. He was smart enough to get a DNA test but sadly it’s his and he couldn’t persuade her to abort so now he is paying for a child he doesn’t want. This incident has really fucked up his mindset! We used to hit the bars together and have a great time meeting girls but now he’s worried about getting someone else pregnant/being lied to by another girl.

It Started Out With A Kiss, How Did It End Up Like This?

I don't regret what happened. I don't regret staying. I don't regret giving access and consent to my body in that way. If I could go back in time, I wouldn't change my actions. Despite my lack of regret, I'm still so sad. I never expected the experience to be marked by aggressiveness, lack of consideration, and such a rough, unloving touch. I never expected the marks that would remain on my neck for the days to come, reminders of the literal and symbolic chokehold he inflicted upon me. The aggressiveness was apparent from the start. His verbal and physical communication was inconsiderate and domineering. Yet, I took no heed and failed to speak up because I was desperate for a chance at human touch and connection and, perhaps most of all, a chance to get even. Should I have spoken up? I should have. I didn't read the signs clearly, and I should have known better. They were clear, the red flags waved prominently in the most brilliant shades of red - but I was colorblind. All I saw was the possibility of intimacy and a chance to place an indiscretion as a bulwark between me and my previous relationship.

I was not asked if I enjoyed the acts performed. I pleaded with him to stop when the pain was too much, and he did. I cried, embarrassed, and disappointed. Was I supposed to like it? Do others? I feel as if I am less than for not enjoying the acts performed on my body. I crave romance, softness, gentle caresses, slow, steady, and mutual enjoyment, but this encounter was characterized by forceful, unwanted penetration, aggressive touch, and a lack of consideration for my pleasure. My body was used as a mere means for his fun and enjoyment alone. My head was forced down, my body forced to bend to his will, and my desire and pleasure forced out of the equation. But I spoke up only once, and that was my fault, I have trained myself to suffer in silence in most aspects of my life. My fault.

I knew from the start I wasn't the person he wanted. He desired another member of our party, which was obvious. He requested contact info from this other person and not from me, even after our escapades. One of a multitude of glaringly obvious red flags. Why did I ignore this? I knew he was settling for me. And I settled for him in return. I did this to myself. Now I wrestle with the emotional drain and confusion. I feel I am to blame, but can I not relieve myself of some of that burden and place the blame partly on

So here’s the first post I had below and I took what you guys considered, manned up and told her how I really felt. But it doesn’t end there.

Hey guys, so I had a flight that was cancelled for 4 days and she was on the same flight. We met on the third night and one thing led to another and we ended up sleeping together. The problem is I just didn’t want to see her afterwards because that’s what a one night stand is. So I was being very nice to her all day today and she’s texting me things like “I miss you without even knowing you”. I respond because I don’t want to be a dick and hurt her feelings so should I just be honest to her? How do I move forward with this. I’ve never been in this kind of situation before. We both live in the same city.

It’s been exactly 6 days and I get a text today from her asking if I took the condom off. I remember specifically double checking before I finished and afterwards and everything looked intact. Even threw it away in front of her. So she calls freaking out saying she felt sick yesterday and took the tow pregnancy tests today and she’s pregnant. Now obviously I’m not mad nor I am denying the fact it could be mine but surely isn’t it a little too soon? Today is exactly 6 days since her and I slept together and she tells me this. I hope this doesn’t make me a bad person but is there a possibility she might be wanting to get my attention again. If she is really pregnant then I’m stepping up. What do you guys think and how should I go forward with this. Thank you.

I sat down and said, "It was the most amazing experience of my entire life..."

I(M20) have recently been through a breakup. It's been about two weeks now, and it is one of the most painful weeks of my life. I know very well that I'm not ready for a committed relationship right now. But when it comes to more casual relationships I'm not sure if I should stop myself or not. On one hand I crave for sexual intimacy. On the other hand, I'm worried that it might not be the right thing to do because if the other person gets attached to me, they'll feel my pain and suffer with me. What is the right thing to do? Should I listen to my urges and find something light and casual, or should I sit with myself for a longer time?

Edit: I did a bit of research I realized there's a term to describe this. It's called 'rebound sex' and apparently it's a pretty common phenomenon. And of course safety first!

Apologies for the wall of text!

I met a girl (I’ll call her H) online almost a year ago and we’ve texted nearly every day since, but because of busy work schedules and living in different cities we didn’t meet IRL until July. The second we met in person, sparks flew and we’ve been basically inseparable ever since. We’ve done a city break together, met each other’s friends and while H was away on a work trip last week with no signal in her hotel, she’d walk in the rain to a cafe with WiFi to talk to me on the phone. Things were going great, but we hadn’t yet put a label on things. (Though while H was away, she drunkenly told me that the next time she sees me she’s going to ask me to be her girlfriend. We’ve also spoke about how “us” is a different kind of feeling.)

Last night, I was supposed to see H, but her roommate was having a shitty time so all of their friends banded together to take her out for dinner and dancing. I was invited, but we both agreed it might be a bit awkward for me to eat and get wasted with a huge group of her friends, so we rescheduled. Mates before dates, ya know?

Anyway, at the beginning of the night, H was drunk texting me about unwanted advances from a girl at the restaurant, but how she’d never pursue anything because of how into me she is. This triggered a conversation about whether she’d be upset if I slept with somebody else and she said yes. Before I fell asleep, I joked that she’s very lucky I’m too besotted with her to want to have sex with anybody else, as I’d got all dressed up for a night on the tiles and been bailed on. I woke up to lots of texts and voicemails saying how sorry she is about bailing.

H calls me every morning when she wakes up, but I didn’t hear from her til around 2pm today. She called me to tell me she’d just got off the subway from a friend of a friend’s house and that they’d slept together. I was really shocked, so made some excuses about needing to work on my thesis and ended the call. She almost instantly texted me to say she knows that she’s fucked up and she’s so sorry. I told her that I’m not a possessive person, but I don’t like to feel bad this early into a relationship so I need time to think about things. I’ve not replied to all of her apology messages just yet.

Where do I go from here? I really like H and prior to this we’ve had great communication etc. I don’t want to hold a person back from enjoying their life and sleeping with whoever they want, but at the same time it feels imb

So the Reverb G2 just broke cover and is apparently a collaborative project between Microsoft and Valve.

I've spent all morning at work today with absolutely zero productivity thinking about what this collaboration is and what it means, and I've got two ideas.

1. This is a one time deal orchestrated by HP. Hp has taken both wmr tracking and lighthouse tracking and integrated into one product, much like how the vive cosmos gives a choice between HTC's inside-out tracking and lighthouse tracking. This would explain HP's no compromises claim. IMO, this is the less interesting option cause it implies that MS and Valve haven't actually collaborated, just that hp has packed tech from both parties into a single product.

2. The other possibility, which I find far, far more interesting is that there is a deeper collaboration, with valve offering insights towards user experience related factors (alongside lighthouse tracking), and Microsoft offering their technical expertise for inside-out tracking. The way I see it, Windows MR's biggest issue was that they poorly analysed the market and cut too many corners with the tracking system. The insights of a company like valve could prevent them from making the same mistakes again. Valve on the other hand, has much to gain as well. With hololens 2, microsoft showed that money no bar, they can develop great inside out tracking with full finger tracking and gesture support. If oculus' hand tracking ends up being a game changer, then licensing this tech from Microsoft could be a great way for steamvr to remain competitive. Not to mention better mid-range wmr headsets means more business for steam, since it prevents Oculus from establishing a monopoly in the mid-range vr market, seeing as valve themselves only seem to interested in making hardware for the uber-high end.

So, tl;dr do you guys think this is a one-time affair, or are we gonna see microsoft/valve work together to take on oculus in the future?

I'm genuinely a bit worried that ITA and I'll have to apologise to my sister in the morning with some chocolate.

Also, sorry for formatting: Im on mobile as my laptop is currently in my sister's room!

So my older sister (26f) lives at home with my mum while she studies to become a teacher. My younger brother (20m) and I (22f) live away at uni but we are back home at the moment for Christmas.

My parents are currently away on holiday, and they've left me in charge of the house and their two high needs dogs.

So tonight was some end-of-term drinks for my sister's school, so my brother and I made dinner and settled down with the dogs in front of the TV. My sister knocks at the door at around 8:30 and she's bought a boy back from the party. She's clearly quite drunk, doesn't introduce him and whisks him upstairs to her bedroom.

Now, we're all adults but I'm not going to lie, having a random man in the house begins to make me and my brother fairly uncomfortable. It was also upsetting the dogs who, in their old age, hate having strangers in the house. I also thought it was rude as she didn't give us a heads up or any indication of when she'd be home.

My brother said we should just leave them to it and talk to her in the morning about how it was weird to bring home a one-night stand to your parents house where your two siblings are. However, I could see a full night of us trying to calm the dogs down and then bumping into him in the morning, and it kind of made me a bit ill.

So I went up and took my sister aside and said "please could you take this somewhere else, it's kind of grim and we feel uncomfortable."

She went back into her bedroom and presumably had a discussion with him, while I was shut in my bedroom trying to calm the dogs down.

After about 10 minutes he left, and my sister is furious. She called me a prude, and said that this was her one opportunity to bring someone home while my parents are away. She said it was unfair as I live in a flat on my own so I can bring whoever back, whenever I want while she doesn't have the same privilege.

AITA for asking him to leave because we were uncomfortable?

TLDR: sister bought a one-night stand back to my parents house after work drinks. My brother and I were in the house and we're uncomfortable with this. I asked her to ask him to leave,and he did.

EDIT: Thanks guys, I fully accept my judgement as the asshole. I'll apologise to my sister tomorrow with some chocolate chip banana bread.

UPDATE: Ap

You didn’t kick me out after we slept together or even in the morning. Instead, you cuddled me as we chat about random stuff. You took me as an equal, you made me feel safe and wanted. You fixed me a drink, not because you wanted me to get drunk but because that was the kind thing to do. You offered me water throughout the night to make sure that I was hydrated after a long night of partying. In the morning, you told me that I could shower and spend the rest of the day at your apartment bc it was too rainy for me to get back home. I left, I didn’t wanna be a burden to you. I just want you to know that you’re a good guy. You have no idea how much I appreciate it - In between getting tossed around by random guys I think I got used to being treated like a meatsuit. You took the time to get to know the person underneath it. Thank you.

She decided to keep the baby and even though I couldn't keep a relationship with this girl, I'll want to support the child where possible. Are there child support laws regarding US citizen fathers who travelled in China?

So look at the history on this account if you'd like more context, this is my 3rd post recently.

My wife and I decided to be poly (go read the other posts for more on that). I thought we were on the same page, until a couple of weeks ago, she came to me saying she wanted to have one night stands. At the time, I immediately reassured her that that was fine, mainly because I hadn't put a lot of thought into it. Over the last couple of weeks, she's been messaging guys looking for hookups. I thought I was okay with it, but we both just flew out of town for work to two different states.

2 nights ago, she messaged me saying there was a local guy who hit her up, she thought he was cute, etc. Around the same time, she also sent me a nsfw pic of her saying that a different guy was asking for pics, so she sent it to me first.

Between the two messages, the separation from her (this is the furthest away and longest we've been apart since meeting almost 8 years ago), and the fact that I'm not really interested in one night stands, my anxiety went from like 1/10 to 9/10 in a flash.

We talked about things, and she was upset with me saying she had a feeling I was going to do this (which made me feel even worse). We talked about things, and apparently, to her, one night stands are a part of being polyamorous. I explained to her that, from what I'd been reading the past few months, that she may feel that way, but that the poly community is pretty torn on the subject, and that a large portion feels like that's what's called "polyfuckery" and that it's generally not seen as poly.

She got even more upset and accused me of looking down on her for wanting casual sex. I did my best to explain that that wasn't the case, that I didn't feel that way, and that I was literally just trying to be honest and upfront with my thoughts and emotions.

By the end of the night (we talked over fb chat on and off for like 5 hours), she agreed not to have sex with anyone while we're apart, at least until I can work through my emotions on the matter and we can talk more about it in person.

Part of those 5 hours of conversation revealed that she's not really interested in a relationship with ANYONE other than me. That she was only really interested in our friends because I was. That all she really wants is one night stands. Yet, when we were first talking about poly, she was offended that I doubted her when she said she was poly, because she'd considered herself poly before she ever

So I am posting this for just a general idea. My friend called me in tears. Her husband had an affair 8 years ago which she already knew about. He claimed it was a one drunken night thing. She forgave him and moved on. Well she finds out this week that it wasnt that at all, that he had a full relationship with this other woman for well over 6 months. He even met her kids, told her he loved her the whole nine yards. So of course my friend is in shambles she feels like the last 8 years was a lie and this feels like a fresh wound. Her relationship is really good, and had been for a few year now and they even have 2 more kids than they did before. So shes really torn now. This isnt what she got over. Had she known the extent 8 years ago she would have left then. Her husband doesnt want to talk about it because to him its old news and they already got past this. Hes even making her feel bad for having these feelings saying how shes bringing up old stuff to fight etc. Last we talked she was like "hes right I shouldn't care." And I honestly think fuck that! She has ever right to care. Hes been lying about this for 8 years. Not to mention the reason she found out was cause he recent looked her up on Facebook and my friend was confused on how he remembered the first and last name of someone he drunkly met at a bar, ntm why after so long he would look her up. I think my friend has every right to be upset and she wants her husband to tell her everything and give her a full time line.

Beautiful girl I saw on Tinder had a Frank shirt so you already know I had to Super like that hoe. Fast forward we ended up hooking up and for the first time I saw an extremely hairy vagina in person. And honestly it turned me on, I wish more girls did this.

I had sex for the first time yesterday in a drunken one night stand. I only met this girl at the club but we started talking in the smoking area and hit it off. So we made out and brought her back to my place (at uni).

Anyway as soon as we get back she gets on top of me and starts riding me. As she's riding me she starts choking me for some reason with one hand and I start losing air and then she leans down and covers my mouth with the other. At this point I'm not sure what is happening or wyhy.

Then shortly after I orgasm there's an awkward silence and she says she has to go. So she leaves.

I've never had sex before. Is this a normal thing that happens on a night stand? Are they usually this kinky? Why would she want to choke me? Is this normal? I'm still trying to proccess this.

TLDR - Lost virginity in one night stand and she unexpectedly starts choking me out and then leaves shortly after.

I recently had a one night stand with this girl and I was wondering if I was asshole in this situation.

She started off by giving me a blow job (with condom on), I think she just meant it as foreplay rather than me ejaculating. But after 15 minutes I did. Afterwards she asked me to give her oral in return, I said I can’t because I have no protection for oral sex. I offered to do hand stuff to her or if she was willing to wait 30minutes we can have sex. She said it unfair because I had an orgasm and she didn’t. She got angry with me and started calling me derogatory terms and threated to tell all her friends that I am pussy and is bad at bed [we didn’t have sex]. I felt a little uncomfortable and left.

I know I was selfish in not reciprocating oral sex, but I personally feel that her reaction was a bit too much.

Edit: I think there is some misconception going on. Usually on a one-night stand that I been on, I would use my hand at the start and then we will procced to have sex. There will be no oral from any parties.

In this instance she took control of the situation and went for a blow job without me saying anything. My plan in the moment was to let her give me a blow job, go back to kissing, I use my hands to make her climax, more kissing and then we go to sex. I never made any promise of giving oral and never planned to. The only person I gave oral to was ex-girlfriend who I knew didn’t have any STI and i felt comfortable with. I have never heard of ‘dental dam’ or any protection for oral sex.

Hi guys,

So my twin boys have just been born.

I had a one night stand and there's 0 chance of being in a relationship with the mother (she's still bitter about that and we're not exactly best friends... ).

So anyway, still need a dna test but in the mean time I'm acting like their mine to be on the safe side (currently writing this in the hospital).

I'm struggling to find any advice on being a single dad after a one night stand that isnt men asking how to get out of their responsibilities.

Any advice from single dads out there? Especially those of you that stuck around after a one night stand

What are some of your favorite ECW PPV matches?

It leaves.

I felt so bad about it. I just had to go out and buy another one for the other side of the bed.