Old pun, new format.
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︎ Jun 26 2020
2 old puns are better than 1, drawings by friend at work
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︎ Jun 16 2018
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︎ Jun 12 2015
I took a job as the head of Old McDonaldβs farm
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︎ May 29 2021
My 5 year old told me this today - Dad, how does a farmer count all his animals in the barn?
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︎ May 26 2021
From my 5-year-old son: "Hey"
True story; it even happened last night. My 5-year-old son walks up behind me and out of the blue says, "hey."
I turn to him and say, "yeah, kiddo? What's up?"
He responds, "it's dead grass."
I'm really confused and trying to figure out what's wrong and what he wants from me. "What? There's dead grass? What's wrong with that?"
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He says, totally straight-faced, "hay is dead grass," and runs off.
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︎ May 10 2021
I'm so proud. My 12-year old told this joke during dinner: What degree does Dr. Pepper have?
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︎ Apr 30 2021
From my 9 year old son: Dad, what hand do you wipe your bum with? Me: My right hand......
Response: EEEEEEEERRRRRRRRR, I use toilet paper.
Well played, boy.
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︎ Apr 28 2021
I saw a 1000 year old oil stain
It was from ancient Greece
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︎ Apr 08 2021
I just found out the Mortal Kombat theme was based on something old
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︎ May 12 2021
My Dad: Did you know that Mortal Kombat is actually based on an old Scandinavian church song?
Me: Wait, what? Really?
Dad: Yeah, a Finnish Hymn.
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︎ May 28 2021
Straight from my 6 yr old.
What do you call a sleeping dinosaur?
Dino-snore.
I ugly laughed at this and she thought it was the best.
Edit: wow, thanks for the awards! I told my daughter she got 500 likes and she started dancing. Thank you!
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︎ May 15 2021
Old but gold
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︎ Apr 02 2021
My 6 year old told me this one today. Why do dogs carry bones in their mouths?
Because they don't have pockets.
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︎ Mar 14 2021
you know what drives old people up the wall?
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︎ Mar 08 2021
I bought my 10 year old son an acoustic guitar yesterday and he has mastered 3 chords already.
So now the full Oasis songbook is covered he's moved on to a new one.
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︎ May 11 2021
So I'm walking down stairs with my 2 year old son this morning when my wife calls from the kitchen...
"Hey, you boys Wahstarving?"
"umm... what?"
"Cause I've got WAHFULLS!"
(She was so proud, a decent dad joke from the mama panda)
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︎ May 28 2021
My 7 year old daughter's contribution: What kind of cookies do they have at the airport?
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︎ May 26 2021
When I was a kid, having fun was simple, we just rolled down hills in old tires..
Yes..those were the Goodyears.
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︎ May 17 2021
Why did the old lady fall down the well?
She didnβt see that well.
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︎ May 16 2021
From my 7yr old daughter: Why was the pig covered in ink?
Because he lived in a pen!
So very proud!
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︎ Feb 06 2021
My 7 year old, gazing in wide eyed wonder asked, "Is the Aurora Borealis heavy?"
I said, "No, it's pretty light. "
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︎ Apr 17 2021
A reporter interviewed a 103-year old woman: βAnd what is the best thing about being 103?β the reporter asked.
The woman simply replied, βNo peer pressure.β
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︎ Feb 12 2021
I told my 7 year old daughter, "Go to bed, the cows are sleeping in the field."
Puzzled she asked, "What's that got to do with anything?
I chuckled, "Well that means....its pasture bedtime. "
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︎ Apr 18 2021
I'm a 40 year old woman who delivers babies for a living and I just bought a brand new Corvette...
Everyone thinks I'm have a Midwife crisis.
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︎ May 20 2021
An actual joke from my 8 year old - Why canβt you trust atoms?
They make up everything.
I was proud.
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︎ Jan 28 2021
What is an Air Fryer's favorite food? (Courtesy of my 6 year old)
Air-vrything.
I'm so proud.
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︎ Dec 26 2020
In the old days, excessive use of commas was considered to be a serious crime.
It usually resulted in a long sentence.
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︎ Mar 16 2021
My 6 year old just told me this joke... What's stronger than a fortune cookie?
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︎ Dec 21 2020
My 8 year old just told me this one.. What does the minister say when you marry a computer?
I now pronounce you man and wifi.
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︎ Apr 25 2021
What do you call an old snowman?
Water
(Courtesy of my 13 year old daughter)
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︎ Apr 16 2021
My calculator is very old
But I can always count on it
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︎ Apr 22 2021
I own a old mining helmet with a light on it.
But I never wear it....
It makes me light headed.
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︎ May 06 2021
My 8 year old sons joke today. Whatβs a girls favorite unit of measurement?
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︎ Apr 15 2021
Where do pirates store their old files?
In the arrrchives, of course!
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︎ Apr 22 2021
an old classic
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︎ Apr 10 2021
My mechanic is 87 years old and he still works 40 hours a week.
Whenever he says "I'm ready to retire," his boss puts him right back to work on another car.
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︎ Apr 03 2021
I discovered a treasure trove of old dad jokes my grandfather had stashed away for future generations...
It was a virtual corny-copia of wit!
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︎ May 27 2021
The old beat up sneaker asked his lace if he would make it through the run. The old lace replied
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︎ May 12 2021
My 6 year old daughter was listening to music with me and came up with this one: What is a bananas favorite Tom Petty song?
You Dont Know How It Peels
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︎ Apr 02 2021
Is there a company thatβll deliver food to your old girlfriend?
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︎ Apr 21 2021
My 11 year old shared a cool joke. He says...
"I just bought a fridge magnet.... So far I have 14 fridges!"
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︎ Apr 17 2021
Did you know that Mortal Kombat was actually based on an old Scandinavian worship song?
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︎ May 18 2021
From my 7 year old daughter
Where do pencils go for vacation?
βPennsylvania!β
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︎ May 17 2021
Did you guys know that Mortal Kombat was actually based off of an old Scandinavian worship song?
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︎ May 24 2021
Did you know Mortal Kombat is actually based on an old Scandinavian church song?
Itβs called a βFinnish Hymnβ.
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︎ May 28 2021
I saw a 2000 year old oil stain.
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︎ Apr 09 2021
Why did the old lady fall into the waterhole?
She couldn't see that well.
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︎ Apr 23 2021
Did you know Mortal Kombat was based on an old Scandinavian church song?
A Finnish Hymn, if you would
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︎ May 29 2021
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