Even my Dreams are Punny

I honestly just had a dream that belongs here. At the start of the dream, I meticulously engraved the word "Over" into a knife when I started getting all these friends and old contacts telling me to leave them alone and blocking me... when I didn't say shit. I finally notice somebody is going through my contacts on all social media one at a time and just ruining friendships sending lewd photos of their junk.

I realize it's coming from my computer at home and I can't get remoted into it so I start driving home... only to get caught in a bunch of tornados. One smaller one picks me up and throws my car about 20ft knocking my wheel loose.

I limp my car away from that tornado only to find another doing like a Mexican standoff with me on the highway. I turned to the random person in my passenger seat holding up the knife and said "Wind or Loose, it'll be Over in a Flash" and I woke up. Now I feel the need to change all my passwords...

👍︎ 3
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📅︎ Jun 03 2017
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Kid tow away service, does it still count if I'm a mom?

A strangers car broke down and they left it in our yard for a week and a half, leaving no name or contact information. After making several attempts on social media to find these people to come get their vehicle, I finally had to call the local police station to ask them to take care of it.

An officer came and he talked about putting a 72 hour notice sticker on it and then having it towed. At the mention of stickers my 6 year old blurted, "oh! Stickers! Can I have one?!" The policeman asked if my boy could come to the cruiser to get a few stickers. I said, "sure but, kid, are you sure? After 72 hours they will tow you away!" My boy groaned "moooommmm...." but at least the officer laughed.

👍︎ 8
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📅︎ Oct 20 2016
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Got dad joked by the pediatrician

My 18-month old son has an ear infection, his first. I asked the doctor when he might be feeling better, and when he can go back to normal activities like day care, etc. He said, "Well, with otitis media, you really just gotta play it by ear," then walked away chuckling to himself.

ಠ_ಠ

👍︎ 10
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👤︎ u/supcaci
📅︎ Dec 12 2014
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