Somebody threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at my head.
It's OK though as my injuries are only super fish oil.
There are only 3 types of people..
- People who can count
- People who can’t
I was very proud of myself :3
My wife hit me on the head with a bottle of Concentrated Omega-3 capsules this morning.
I'm okay though.....it was just a super fish oil wound.
In Jamaica, a slice of apple pie costs about $3.50. In the Bahamas, it costs about $4.00.
Those are the pie rates of the caribbean.
The police just showed up at my house and arrested my bottle of water. They said he was wanted in 3 states...
In the Bahamas a piece of pie costs $2.75, in Jamaica a pice of pie costs $3.25.
Those are the pie-rates of the Caribbean.
A Mexican magician tells the audience he is going to disappear on the count of 3.
He says, “uno, dos..” and then POOF he disappeared without a tres…
A tub of margarine fell on my foot 3 weeks a go and it still hurts.....
I can't believe it's not better.
Today someone bought our department a box of donuts and some lotto tickets. The potential grand prize was $3,000, in which my boss exclaimed "Well that isn't enough to retire".
I corrected him by saying that is plenty of money to buy some new tires for your car.
The physical pain on his face was priceless.
So proud of my 3 year old daughter... her first dad joke. “Hey Dad, why did the duck cross the road?”
Because the chicken had the day off.
Neither my wife or I have any idea where she heard this. And she isn’t divulging her sources. Hilarious.
Edit: The first joke she’s told in general. And happened to be a dad joke. :-)
Did you know that fish are a great source of omega 3, which is great for helping the brain function?
...Just some food for thought.
The latest survey shows that 3 out of 4 people....
......make up 75% of the world's population.
3 months since I had COVID and I’ve still got very little sense of taste.
Sometimes I just find myself settling down on the sofa, opening up Netflix and sticking on Friends
3 unwriten rules of life..
There is a species of frog that can jump higher than a 3 story house
This is due to the frog's incredibly strong hind legs, and the fact that a house can't jump.
Goldilocks, running from the 3 bears, finds herself in a dead end with nothing but a bag of ice. Papa bear is Drunk and scary. What happens next?
A Goldy-smack with a cold sack in a cul de sac, which is more than a bear with beer could bare.
A wise man once gave me the 3 unwritten rules of life
What happens when you eat 3.14 slices of pizza?
You get really full.
What, were you expecting a pie joke on my cake day?
A guy walks into a bar and sees 3 pieces of meat hanging from the ceiling
Guy:"Whats this about?"
Bartender:"Well, if you can jump up and slap the meat, you get free drinks for the rest of the night. If you miss, you pay for everyones drinks for the next hour. You wanna do it?
Guy:"Nah, the steaks are too high."
So, 3 nuns die in a car crash and end up before the gates of St Peter....
St Peter says to the nuns "Given you are nuns and have devoted your life to good works you only need to answer a single question each to enter Heaven."
He looks to the first nun and asks "where did the first woman live?"
The first nun quickly replied "the garden of Eden".
St Peter nods approval and looks to the second nun "what was the name of the first woman?"
The second nun pauses for a second and then replies "Eve."
"Well done!" Says St Peter before turning to the third nun and saying "As the Mother Superior you should be able to answer this; what did Eve say to Adam when she first saw him?"
The Mother Superior furrows her brow and says "oh, that's a hard one".
"Correct!" Says St Peter. "You may enter."
I'm the youngest of a family of 3...
Both my parents are older than me.
Why do teenagers hang out in groups of 3, 5, or 7?
Because they just can't even.
Only 3 stars for waist of space...
Today my wife accidentally pushed flower pot with her elbow. After 3 hours of arguingshe came to a conclusion that
I put it in the wrong place......
3 years ago
Did you know that a single sperm contains 37.5 MB of DNA information? Meaning that, during 3 seconds long ejaculation, more than 11,250 TERA bytes of information is transmitted.
That's alot of information to swallow.
3 out of 4 people suffer from anal itch
Does this mean 1 in 4 enjoy it?
I was backing out of the parking lot earlier when I backed into a car! The driver was only 3 feet tall....!
He got out of the car and started waving his hands above his head! He kept yelling "I'm not Happy, I'm not Happy!"
So, I got out and yelled back, "Well, which one are you!?"
There are 3 types of people in this world...
Those who are good at math, and those who are bad at math.
There are 3 types of people in this world:
Those who can count and those who cannot.
The price for a slice of pie in Costa Rica is $2.50 and $3.00 in the Bahamas. Do you know what those are?
The pie rates of the Caribbean.
A slice of apple pie is $2.50 in Jamaica and $3 in the Bahamas
These are the pie rates of the Caribbean.
A slice of apple pie is $2.50 in Jamaica and $3.00 in the Bahamas...
These are the Pie rates of the Caribbean
Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me
Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
A slice of pie is $2.50 in Jamaica, and $3.00 in the Bahamas.
These are the pie rates of the Caribbean.
There are 3 types of people in this world
Those who can count and those who can't
A slice of key line pie in Jamaica is 2.75, while a slice in the Bahamas is 3.50.
Those are the pie rates of the Caribbean
Yesterday someone hit me with a bottle of Omega-3 pills
Luckily, my wounds were only super fish oil
The 3 unwritten rules of life..
I was hit by a bottle of Omega-3 capsules
Luckily, I only suffered super fish oil injuries
There are 3 kinds of people in this world
Those who can count and those who can’t.
In Jamaica apple pie costs $2 a slice while in the Bahamas a slice of cherry pie costs $3.
These are the pie rates of the Caribbean.
There are 3 types of people in the world:
Those that can count,
Those that can’t.
3 unwritten rules of life: 1. 2. 3.
A slice of apple pie is $2.50 in Jamaica and $3.00 in the Bahamas.
These are the pie rates of the Caribbean
The 3 unwritten rules of life.
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