I asked my North Korean friend how things were in his country currently.

He said they couldn't complain.

👍︎ 67
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📅︎ Jan 26 2018
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Santa joins the Army

Santa decides it's time to put his 364 days worth of downtime to use, so he travels to Warsaw to join the Army.

The recruiter says "Sir, only natives of this country can join the military".

Santa replies, "I understand, and I meet the requirements".

"How so?" queries the Recruiter.

Santa smiles and says, "Isn't it obvious I am North Pole-ish?"

👍︎ 24
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📅︎ Dec 02 2018
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So, I was telling my kids about the history of eating black-eyed peas and greens on New Year's Day...

[this one is actually technically a mom joke]

...and I was explaining how the practice originated during the American Civil War, but they're still young, so I had to explain how we got into the war.

Me (Dad): "...so the South didn't like what the North was doing and they decided they wanted to quit the country."

Wife (Mom): "AND THEY SECEDED! ... Get it? SECEDED! HAHAHAHHA! It's like succeeded, but it... nobody?"

👍︎ 10
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📅︎ Jan 02 2014
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Gym Music

Driving from NY to North Carolina. Listening to rock and electronic music.

Mom: This is perfect gym music.

Dad: Jim? He likes country better.

👍︎ 14
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📅︎ Aug 19 2013
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I asked my North Korean friend how things were in his country currently.

He said he couldn't complain.

👍︎ 34
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📅︎ Nov 21 2017
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