Did you hear about the new dating website for chemists?

It's called carbon dating.

πŸ‘︎ 59
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Imholt11
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2020
🚨︎ report
Russia have just launched a new website that tracks down and deletes pirated movies

Nyetflix.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2020
🚨︎ report
Have you seen the new Amish website?

Neither have they...

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/B_tchlasagna
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2020
🚨︎ report
I'm thinking of starting a new website, exclusively so people can subscribe to Ninja Sex Party cover bands.

It's called OnlyDans.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PhoShizzity
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2020
🚨︎ report
My friend built a new house and started a website...

Spiders like the attic.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2019
🚨︎ report
I hear there's a new dating website for pirates...

It's called Shiver Me Tinder...

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2019
🚨︎ report
Turns out that new Call of Duty brand frames are available through LensCrafters' website!

Press F to pay for specs.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Dachannien
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2018
🚨︎ report
New York MTA (subway) dad must be in control of writing for the website...
πŸ‘︎ 136
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/tess_niedermeyer
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2015
🚨︎ report
I finally made a website of all of my pun doodles. Except they're puzzles, so you have to figure them out. New posts every monday. Enjoy. mondaypunday.com/59
πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mrmailbox
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17 2012
🚨︎ report
Wife: β€œDid you just make up that joke?” Me: β€œNo, I....”

β€œ...learned it from an American social news aggregation, web content rating, and discussion website that I can’t remember the name of.”

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VeryLastBison
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Just brew it!

I’m building a website for a new cafe and Coworking space opening in the area. The owner loves humour and wants to reflect that in the site. Does anyone have any great puns or other humorous ideas to do with cafes or working spaces? Thanks a million!

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Instinct13now
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2020
🚨︎ report
What's next for Apple?

The iPhone 6 and its big brother the plus has just been launched and already websites are crawling with the next iphone slated to launch in sep-oct of 2015 and experts are wondering if the new iPhone under Tim Cook's management will flop or be a....6 s?

πŸ‘︎ 30
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FingerFlares
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2014
🚨︎ report
Computer Puns

How do two programmers make money? One writes viruses, the other anti-viruses.


Where’s the best place to hide a body? Page two of Google.


A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history – with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila.


If it weren’t for C, we’d all be programming in BASI and OBOL.


There are 10 types of people in the world: those who understand binary, and those who don’t.


In a world without fences and walls, who needs Gates and Windows?


Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.


Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.


Never underestimate the bandwidth of a station wagon full of tapes hurling down the highway.


An SQL statement walks into a bar and sees two tables. It approaches, and asks β€œmay I join you?”


Why is it that programmers always confuse Halloween with Christmas?

Because 31 OCT = 25 DEC.


Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft… and the only one that can be mass produced with unskilled labor.


How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb? None. It’s a hardware problem.


I named my hard drive β€œdat ass” so once a month my computer asks if I want to β€˜back dat ass up’.


I think my neighbor is stalking me as she’s been googling my name on her computer. I saw it through my telescope last night.


I changed my password to β€œincorrect”. So whenever I forget what it is the computer will say β€œYour password is incorrect”.


A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.


It’s ok computer, I go to sleep after 20 minutes of inactivity too.


Entered what I ate today into my new fitness app and it just sent an ambulance to my house.


A clean house is the sign of a broken computer.


Wifi went down during family dinner tonight. One kid started talking and I didn’t know who he was.


I would like to thank everybody that stuck by my side for those five long minutes my house didn’t have internet.


A TV can insult your intelligence, but nothing rubs it in like a computer.


Are you a computer whiz? it seems you know how to turn my software to hardwar

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Punsville
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2017
🚨︎ report
Star Wars Puns

From movie puns we provide you the funniest collection of Star Wars puns

What do you call 5 siths piled on top of a lightsaber? A Sith-Kabob!


Why does Princess Leia keep her hair tied up in buns? So it doesn’t Hang Solow!


Why shouldn’t you ask Yoda for money? Because he’s always a little short


What program do Jedi use to view PDF files? Adobe Wan Kenobi


What do you call a Mexican jedi? Obi-Juan Kenobi


What do you call the website Chewbacca started that gives out Empire secrets? Wookieeleaks


What do you call a Jedi in denial? Obi-Wan Cannot Be


Where does Princess Leia go shopping for clothing? At the Darth Maul


Greg: Which Star Wars character travels around the world? Craig: Who? Greg: Globi-wan Kenobi!


Matthew: What does a Star Destroyer wear to a wedding? Daniel: What? Matthew: Bow ties, of course!


Deen Why was the droid angry? Mark: Why? Deen People kept pushing its buttons.


Luke: Why did Anakin Skywalker cross the road? Lei Not sure. Luke: To get to the Dark Side.


Darth Vader: I know what you’re getting for Christmas. Luke: How do you know? Darth Vader: I can feel your presents.


What do Whipids say when they kiss? Ouch.


What is a jedi’s favorite toy? A yo-yoda


What do you call a pirate droid? Argh2-D2


Where does Jabba the Hutt eat? Pizza Hutt


What is Jabba the Hutt’s middle name? β€œThe” Why is Han Solo a loner? Because he’s solo.


What do you call a Mexican jedi? Obi-Juan Kenobi What do you call a Sith who won’t fight? A Sithy.


What time is it when Darth Vader steps on your chronometer? Time to get a new chronometer.


What do you call a pirate droid? Arrrrgh-2-D2


Which side of a wookie has the most hair? The outside.


Where does Jabba eat dinner? Pizza Hutt


Who do Jedi call to help open PDF files? Adobe Wan Kenobi


What do you call someone that tries to be a Jedi? Obi-Wannabe


What do you call a bounty hunter from Alabama? Bubba Fett


What time is it when Jabba the Hutt sits on your blaster? Time to get a new blaster! Why is Luke


Skywalker always invited on picnics? He always has the forks with him.


Which imperial officer hated Thanksgiving? Grand Moff Turkeyn


What do you call stormtroopers playing Monopoly? Game of Clones


Why did

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Punsville
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2017
🚨︎ report
I told myself a dad joke

I've been on a metal kick lately. A little sabbath, zeppelin, and a lot of ozzy. So I'm sitting here building a Christian website for myself, singing mr. Crowley when I say to myself....."well, this is abbot odd."

I told myself a dad joke because my daughter is asleep. I've reached a new low.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/anonkingdragon
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2017
🚨︎ report
Adam Baldwin

I was reading aloud through a website about celebrity heights, and came across the list of Baldwins. Alec and Billy I knew to be brothers. Adam was a new one to me.

"Adam Baldwin," I said. "Is he a brother, too?"

"No, I'm pretty sure he's white," said Dad.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/pretzelzetzel
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2013
🚨︎ report
I need help writing airplane puns for a message on a dating site.

So the person's profile only talks about airplanes. I wanted to send a message totally jammed packed with airplane puns but I don't have that many. It's probably a fake profile but I still think it would be fun.

Here's what I have so far. Hey Girl. Most of the girls on this website are so 'plane' but you're the exception. I have a 'terminal' illness and hope to meet my copilot before I go. Just kidding. My health is 'A oK47'. I was just 'play'n' around. Just to let you know I have some baggage from some 'turbulence' in a previous relationship but Shirley I can get past it. My previous relationship taught me that two wrongs don't make a right. However, two Wrights made an airplane. I hope a new relationship can 'takeoff' with you though. I would be a great boyfriend. I have financial 'security' and could buy you anything you want with my 'visa'. Have you seen the movie, "Planes, Trains, and Automobiles"? It's really good, except for the train and automobile parts.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/richrawl
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2018
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.