National Geographic: "Nearly 3/4 of our planet lies underwater"

My dad: "I wonder what it is about water that makes people so dishonest?"

๐Ÿ‘︎ 167
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/CptGurney
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 18 2015
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
What kinds of countries do soft drink companies make?

Carbo Nations!

๐Ÿ‘︎ 7
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 01 2021
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
We need to add PR, DC, and Guam, as states.

53 is a prime number. Then we can truly be one nation, indivisible.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 45
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/DubNationAssemble
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 03 2021
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
My wife told me she had to pee while I was mid stream.

I told her to join the club.

It's called Urine-Nation.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 2
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/EnforcerBiggin
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 07 2021
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Question

Why is today not National ballerina day?

I mean it is 2-2 after all

๐Ÿ‘︎ 3
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/taterheadx2
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 02 2021
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
I once visited a country where a lot of people were called Yuri and it stank of pee.

It must have been the Yuri-nation.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 2
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Bbew_Mot
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 13 2021
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
We will never run out of puns now!

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. Itโ€™s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind itโ€™s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I donโ€™t think itโ€™s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

Thereโ€™s a new type of broom out, itโ€™s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels canโ€™t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, itโ€™s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldnโ€™t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didnโ€™t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit โžก

๐Ÿ‘︎ 21
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/communist_scumbag
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
My first time posting on my cake day!

What nationality is Santa Claus? North Poleish

Merry Christmas!!!

๐Ÿ‘︎ 12
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/nbudri
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 26 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
What do bears call people in sleeping bags?

Bearritos.

This was stolen from the NPS Instagram, which you should follow for this and other (real) amazing National Parks facts.

https://www.instagram.com/p/CGciQLIDOFS/

๐Ÿ‘︎ 2
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/chexmp
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 17 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
In recent news, a giant had a troubling discovery when he returned home from work.

After discovering he'd been given a parking ticket, the giant exclaimed in disappointment as he approached his house. This startled a burglar inside, causing him to flee from the property but not before trapping his stubby digit in the door, causing him to leave blood at the scene. Thankfully, the giant's powerful nasal abilities allowed him to aid police as he was able to detected the exact nationality and gender of the robber in question. When interviewed, the giant simplified the story for us by saying,

"Fee, Fie, Foe, Thumb, I smell the blood of an English Man."

๐Ÿ‘︎ 4
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/wolfyfancylads
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 14 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
What does DNA stand for?

National Dyslexic association.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 924
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/The-Real-Legend-72
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 01 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
If everyone in the country had a pink Cadillac

Weโ€™d have a pink car-nation!

๐Ÿ‘︎ 20
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/2ndbreakfastfan
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 03 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
If you're looking for sense these days, don't bother.

There is a national coin shortage, after all.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 4
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/stevethepirate89
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 20 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
I showed my friend my pond, including the best fishing spots and the place where the bank drops off...

I wish the First National would stop sending their packages to my pond's address...

๐Ÿ‘︎ 6
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/thomasbrakeline
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 28 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
How would you describe the US between 2009 - 2016?

An Obama-Nation

๐Ÿ‘︎ 4
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/themoreidont
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 22 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
TIL that there is one country that has the most well-rested citizens

HyberNation

๐Ÿ‘︎ 9
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Hitler_the_Painter
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 24 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
i have a girlfriend from another nation? do you know where she's from?

my imagiNATION

๐Ÿ‘︎ 7
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/kenkenthepro06
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 25 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
In March we had coughs, colds, Influenza A&B, and Covid-19.

I guess you could say the nations of the world were in a Cold War.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 9
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/SalmonXenu420
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 31 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Steve jobs named an apple computer - Lisa; the same name as his daughter. Do you know what Lisa stood for?

The National Anthem

๐Ÿ‘︎ 5
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/DrakeVader
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 12 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
All donkeys of the world gathered in a rally and demanded a seperate nation for donkeys

The leader donkey got shot and killed.

Ass-as-a-nation

๐Ÿ‘︎ 5
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/crazyjarvis
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 23 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
What country has the best sodas?

The Carbo nation!

๐Ÿ‘︎ 7
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/breakone9r
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 20 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
A joke that takes a while to evolve

To celebrate the 200th birthday of Charles Darwin, the scientific community joined together for a party. As is common at such gatherings, the Biologists began to argue about what species was the most suited to its environment. Finally after much heated debate, a group of scientists pledged to spend the rest of the year exhaustively researching the Biological record to once and for all determine which creature was the ultimate example of adaptivity and proficiency ever to live.

Yesterday, the results were announced at the National Academy of Sciences. The creature identified as the most adaptive and proficient in Earth's history was a previously unknown animal from the Mesozoic era, a water dwelling insect that thrived for a hundred million years.

It was ... a FishAnt

๐Ÿ‘︎ 10
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/CapnFancyPants
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 22 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
What do you call a fictional country?

Imagine-nation.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 35
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Bakedschwarzenbach
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 24 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Why was Prussia forced to leave the First Schleswig War?

They were Pruss-ured by other nations.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 3
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/hello-i-am-fox
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 28 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Jokingly told my fiancรฉe that I want to change my name.

Her: To what?

Me: I donโ€™t know yet

Her: That sounds nice. What nationality is that?

๐Ÿ‘︎ 7
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/umadbro996
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 01 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
A giant list of puns from r/copypasta

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. Itโ€™s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind itโ€™s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I donโ€™t think itโ€™s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

Thereโ€™s a new type of broom out, itโ€™s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels canโ€™t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, itโ€™s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldnโ€™t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didnโ€™t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit โžก

๐Ÿ‘︎ 6
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
There's a new type of broom out

Its sweeping the nation and the competition

๐Ÿ‘︎ 14
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/The_Russell_Pinto
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 03 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Did you hear the news about the shovel? It's ground breaking. But the broom?

That really swept the nation.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 17
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/the_houser
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 10 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Thereโ€™s a new type of broom out

itโ€™s sweeping the nation.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 14
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/lolyfe-dc
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 06 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
What do bears call people in sleeping bags?

Bearritos.

This was stolen from the NPS Instagram, which you should follow for this and other (real) amazing National Parks facts.

https://www.instagram.com/p/CGciQLIDOFS/

๐Ÿ‘︎ 3
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Ford456fgfd
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 17 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
What does DNA stand for?

National Dyslexic Association

๐Ÿ‘︎ 64
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Noxxicityy
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 16 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
What does DNA stand for?

National dyslexia association

๐Ÿ‘︎ 67
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/gqwr87
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 26 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Have you seen that new broom?

Itโ€™s Sweeping the nation!

๐Ÿ‘︎ 5
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/AJ-Naka-Zayn-Owens
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 08 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Do you know what DNA stands for?

National Dyslexic Association

๐Ÿ‘︎ 28
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/ArceusLord13
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 30 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
514 Dad Jokes

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. Itโ€™s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind itโ€™s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I donโ€™t think itโ€™s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

Thereโ€™s a new type of broom out, itโ€™s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels canโ€™t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, itโ€™s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldnโ€™t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn

... keep reading on reddit โžก

๐Ÿ‘︎ 74
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Josvys
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 03 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Did you hear about the bug activist who was happy he was fired?

He was for Termite Nation.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 2
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/alphabluewolf
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 06 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Did you hear about that new broom that stands on its own?

Itโ€™s sweeping the nation

๐Ÿ‘︎ 12
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/runs_with_airplanes
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 11 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
What does DNA stand for?

National Dyslexic Association

๐Ÿ‘︎ 45
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/RudzBotha
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 30 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
What does DNA stand for?

National dyslexic association

๐Ÿ‘︎ 70
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Quint_Cordewener
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 12 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Did you hear about that new awesome broom everyone is talking about?

Itโ€™s sweeping the nation.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 59
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/stupidsexyf1anders
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 16 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
The invention of the shovel was groundbreaking, but...

the invention of the broom really swept the nation.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 23
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Canooter
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 23 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
We need to add three more states to the United States of America

53 states would make it a prime number; One nation, indivisible.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 974
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/BradC
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 18 2017
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
The invention of the shovel was groundbreaking,

but the invention of the broom swept the nation.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 429
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Ryyi23
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 23 2016
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
We Need to Add PR, DC, and Guam as states.

53 is a Prime Number.

We then would truly be one nation, indivisible

๐Ÿ‘︎ 28
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Twigsnapper
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 13 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
I'm going to start a country for people who are into peeing on/getting peed on other people.

I'll call it the urine nation

๐Ÿ‘︎ 2
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Farmerofwoooooshes
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 03 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report

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