My favorite part of the morning is the sound of pouring coffee into my metal thermos

It’s the little tings in life, ya know?

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Cold_Shogun
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 23 2021
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Instead of water, I accidentally put RedBull in the the back of my coffee maker this morning.

I was halfway to work before I realized I forgot my car.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 56
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Daudelin1
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 23 2020
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There I was this morning, sitting and drinking Coffee in my slippers , and I thought to myself..

..I really need to clean a few mugs around here.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 159
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 26 2020
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I was pouring morning coffee from our bodem and my wife noticed I poured mine first and asked why

I told her this way, she won’t have any grounds for divorce.

Now give me my 7 upvotes

πŸ‘οΈŽ 91
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/sprintbooks
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 03 2020
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Almost got arrested for pouring myself a coffee this morning.

It was mugged.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 18
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/this_time_i_mean_it
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 24 2020
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This morning I made my hamster an extra strong espresso coffee and crushed some caffeine pills up in his food.

I'd hate for him to fall asleep at the wheel.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 16
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 20 2020
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This morning, my wife was grinding coffee beans and suddenly said, β€œWe’re through.”

It was grounds for divorce.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/zedhead0628
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 06 2020
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I was having an argument with my wife about who should brew the coffee each morning. She said, β€œYOU should do it because YOU get up first and then we won't have to wait as long to get our coffee.”

I went full sexist pig, β€œYOU'RE in charge of cooking around here woman and YOU should do it, because it's YOUR job and I can just wait for my coffee.”

She replied coldly, β€œNo, YOU should do it and besides, it's in the Bible that the man should do the coffee.”

I guffawed, β€œI can’t believe that, show me!”

So she fetched the Bible and opened to the New Testament and showed me the top of several pages, that it indeed says, β€œHEBREWS!”

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 22 2018
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My roommate accidentally spilled his coffee grinds this morning...

I told him he was grounded

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/momo_marin2897
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 06 2020
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I love making coffee every morning

It’s always grounds for a good time

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Geezard9
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 31 2020
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I like to have a little mid-morning coffee at work...

It's my break fluid.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 09 2019
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I put a hole in my coffee cup this morning

> I added half and half

πŸ‘οΈŽ 17
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/slayergod13
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 26 2019
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[laywer joke] Worried about my court case, I forgot to use a coffee filter this morning!

After it brewed, the coffee had too many grounds to appeal...

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 10 2019
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How does Moses make his morning Coffee?

Hebrews it!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 20
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Ya_Boi_Jayson
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 07 2019
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What did the croissant say to the coffee in the morning?

You're just not my cup of tea.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 54
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/celeriss
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 05 2016
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In a christian marriage, is the wife or husband supposed to make the coffee in the morning?

According to the bible, "Hebrews"

πŸ‘οΈŽ 23
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ZesterOfNazareth
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 28 2018
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The Bible answers the question of whether the man or the woman should make the coffee in the morning.

Hebrews.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/IranRPCV
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 05 2018
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My wife used the wrong beans when she made my coffee this morning.

I maintain that's grounds for divorce.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/NicNoletree
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 19 2018
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When I got ready to make the coffee this morning, I asked my wife if she wanted some -

I told her that I didn't want a brewhaha.

She laughed, so I guess I got one anyway.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/IranRPCV
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 02 2018
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How does coffee help you in the morning?

It makes me coffeedent

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/chinese_snow
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 27 2018
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A lot of people were laughing at the coffee shop this morning.

It was quite a brew ha ha.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 18
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ScottyUrb
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 26 2017
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Drinking my coffee this morning was like making love on a canoe

It's fucking close to water.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ArtfulDues
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 22 2017
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What do you feel when you haven't had your morning coffee?

Depresso

πŸ‘οΈŽ 14
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/thecheezyweezy
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 04 2015
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My dad dropped this one liner on me this morning after drinking coffee that my mom had made.

"this coffee is full of grounds... grounds for divorce"

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/regulatuh
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 04 2014
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Got dadjoked by my roommate this morning while getting coffee

We went to a bagel and coffeeshop this morning for breakfast. As we were fixing our coffee, two coffee workers began arguing over thrown out bagels.

My roommate looked at me and said, "looks like there's some bagel drama brewing." I told him he will make a great dad some day.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/obeseelise
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 18 2014
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Making coffee this morning...

I asked my dad if the coffee was ground. He replied, "It should be ground- it was mud this morning!"

Good one, old man.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Leviajonathan
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 28 2013
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There I was this morning, sitting and drinking coffee in my slippers, I thought to myself...

I really need to clean some mugs

πŸ‘οΈŽ 143
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/potato_fish12
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 27 2020
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I was sitting drinking coffee in my slippers this morning, when I thought to myself…

I really need to wash out the mugs...

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 22 2020
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I was sitting drinking coffee in my slippers this morning, when I thought to myself...

I really need to wash some mugs.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 116
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/simplyGagi
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 30 2019
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I went into the kitchen this morning and said to the wife, "Is that coffee I smell?"

She said, "It is and you do."

πŸ‘οΈŽ 115
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 16 2017
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According to the Bible, who makes the coffee in the morning?

Hebrews.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/IranRPCV
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 06 2017
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