During Chemistry class, I learned that sulphur dioxide should never be poured into a metal container..
It's just an oxidant waiting to happen..
What's a police officer's favourite metal?
Plastic. Metal. Big red. Ice. Ash. Industrial.
What did the metal plant worker say when he was turned into a frog
Which famous wrestler went into the scrap metal business?
I was so exhausted when I went to bed that I slept right through my son and his friends having a raging weed and heavy metal party in the yard all thru the night. As the sun came up, the party was still in full swing and my phone had blown up with messages complaining about the noise and the smell.
So I wake up in the morning and I step outside and I take a deep breath and I get real high and I scream from the top of my lungs ‘WHAT’S GOIN’ ON?’
Edit: so happy that one of my home-made dad-jokes is so well-received :) thanks, everyone!
I found a really sick 80’s metal cover band
They’re called Deaf Leper
What do you call a space rock made of organic material that can be refined into metal?
The adjective for metal is metallic, but not so for iron,
"Hey Thor why do you wear that metal plate over your butt?"
What large metal robot talks in a paradoxical way?
What's the one note a black metal band will never play?
A rock musician tried lifting a metal bar, but couldn't.
Did you hear about the under cover police made of metal?
Yeah, there's a bunch of secret coppers running around
I know a junk dealer who gives away metal for free. Right now, he comps stainless steel, copper, and aluminum.
Unfortunately, he's straight outta comped tin.
A metal skeleton is great for blocking radio waves.
Because of its Faraday rib cage.
Will Smith must be great at metal works.
Because he is a Blacksmith
since lead can kill you just from being around it too much, it can technically be considered death metal.
how can I include "lead/lead singer" into the joke
I regret taking carpentry over metal work.
What’s both metal and nonmetal?
Did you know Alaskan sled dogs love metal music?
You’ll often see them in mush pits
A lawyer handed me a metal rod...
I suppose he was just passing the bar.
What do you call the main vocalist of a heavy metal band?
What's a Quaker's favorite metal album?
What does the angry metal worker say in his job advert?
Did you know they used to use lead to hold barrels together? A guy had to singe the band ends together. Now you know that every heavy metal band needed a lead singer.
credit to fang0654 who replied this to my previous post to expand off the joke "did you know lead is technically death metal since you can die just being around it"
This superhero sheets metal
I used to be a big metal fan.
But, with recent revelations, I have discovered that I, am an air conditioner.
Never pour sulphuric acid into a metal beaker...
It's an oxidant waiting to happen.
So I went up that massive metal tower in Paris recently...
It was amazing, don't get me wrong, but I'm lucky to be here to be honest.
I was up the very top, and there was a massive gust of wind, and unfortunately Ie ffel!
What’s a policeman’s favourite metal?
Although I’m a sculptor, I still wasn’t sure about how to make a metal bust.
But I just forged ahead anyway.
Michel Lotito had a strange ability to consume metal. He is said to have eaten an entire Cessna 150 light aircraft.
I imagine it would have tasted a little plane though
originally posted on r/tumblr by u/MaetelofLaMetal
I was touring a rocket factory and wondered why the fuel tank was full of metal plates,
So when the tour guide pointed out a fuel system engineer I asked him "can you tell me why there are big flat plates all over the inside of the fuel tank?" and he looked up at it and said "oh, that's just baffling" and I thought, great, if he doesn't know, who would?
Last night I was jumped by a stranger, but managed to defend myself with a seasoning packet and metal cylinder
He was charged with assault and battery.
Have you heard about the children’s musical group featuring metal music from Germany?
They’re called Sharon, Lois and Brammstein.
Why did no one show up for auditions to "Heavy metal, the musical"?
Did you hear about the guy that only ate metal?
What's a criminals most hated metal?
I saw a drama written by a gridiron referee about a big metal vessel for drinking wine.
It’s was called “Flagon: the play”
When I make Eggs Benedict I only use metal plates
Because theres no plates like chrome for the hollandaise.
My friend told me they were into Heavy Metal….
but couldn’t decide which is his favorite, Neptunium or Plutonium
I’m a fan of heavy metal and I have Crohn’s disease- I call myself Megadeth because…
When I go to the bathroom, it’s a symphony of destruction.
What do you call the main vocalist of a heavy metal band?
What does the angry metal worker say in his job advert?
The adjective for metal is metallic.
But not so for iron which is quite ironic.
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