M.o.l. Puns

and not ?

Because they're all not 'C's.

Enrolled.

Student said “you said the formula was H to O”.

Fucking attention horns.

H2O

M R NOT O S A R C M WINGS L I B M R DUCKS

Me: F-O-R T-H-E L-I-F-E O-F M-E

Daughter: confused look

... E deer, F deer, G deer, H deer, I deer, J deer, K deer, L deer, M deer, N deer, P deer, Q deer, R deer, S deer, T deer, U deer, V deer, W deer, X deer, Y deer and Z deer.

Wait.. did I miss one out? O deer

‘yes but just to prove you’ve been paying attention I’d like you to recite the alphabet first’

So with his best effort the boy replies ‘A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O Q R S T U V W X Y Z’

The teacher says ‘very good but what happened to the P?’

‘Well this took so long it’s running down my leg’

What he got is alphabet soup with letters H I J K L M N O.

L-M-N-O-P, my dear Watson.

Back when I was younger I needed to write an essay.

Me: Dad what is the computer password?

Dad: The password is in my control

Me: Okay cool but I need to write an essay

Dad: I told you it is my control

Me: Can you just come here and type it in then?

This went on for a few weeks until I watched him type in m-y-c-o-n-t-r-o-l

The password is still the same to this day.

My wife, 2 year old son, and I were traveling this past week and went through a drive thru for lunch. After finishing his meal, my son was trying to figure out what the bag said. Not being able to turn around and see what he is seeing, the following exchange took place.

Wife "Do you know what the letters are on the bag?"

Son "Yes!"

Wife " Tell me what the letters are"

Son "A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z!"

Me "Was that his first dad joke?"

Wife "He is definitely your son" and rolled her eyes.

3yr - What is that?
Dad - Mail
3yr - No, those are letters
Dad - (Look to my wife in approval) Yes those are letters.
3yr - He starts reading each letter on the envelope. L-I-M-I-T-E-D O-F-F-E-R

who's there

L-M-N-O-P

L-M-N-O-P who?

no! It's L-M-N-O-P-Q!!

Student: H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O.

Teacher: That’s not the formula of water.

Student: You said the formula was H to O.

Student: A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, phosphorus, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, Z.

Teacher: How did you say phosphorus instead of L, M, N, O, and P?

Student: Because phosphorus is EL-EM-EN-TAL P.

... l m N o p ... w x y N z

I received A, B, C, D, F, G, H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, and Z.

I'm missing the iron E.

but it skips b c d e f g h I j k l m n o and p