Light The Torch Puns

I guess it's hard to put out a Greece fire.

I made the best dad joke of my life only a month before my daughter was born. I was sitting across from my wife with a trash can between us, and we were lighting sparklers for my nephews. My BIL walked away holding the butane torch we were using, so my wife said she needed something to light them with. I reached into the trash can and pulled out a piece of plastic and said, “there, now it’s a little lighter”.

I’ll never beat that

What do you call a boat that can sell you something. A sails man. My friend asked for something to write with, I said “pen or pencil”. He said it depens. I went to a fan contest. The winner blew away the competition. My friend got married to a torch. You could say she was the light of his life. After going through these jokes I now hate myself.