What do you say to a constipated liar?

You're full of shit

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lonelyslav
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2020
🚨︎ report
Why are ghosts bad liars?

Because you can see right through them!

πŸ‘︎ 77
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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2019
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Those northern canadians can smell a liar a mile away

And they wont have Nunavut

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2020
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Liar liar pants on fire
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πŸ‘€︎ u/puntasticuser
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2019
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Windows are terrible liars

You can see right through them.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Laughing_Mask
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the liar stand out of the block?

Because he was an outlier

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πŸ‘€︎ u/gourishbiradar
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2019
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My Microwave is a Liar

On the front it says "30-60 Seconds for a Hot Dog. I keep running that thing for minutes on end but I never get a Hot Dog to come out.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Elon_Muskmelon
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2019
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β€œI told you Doc!! I’ve got fatigue and my heart keeps skipping a beat! Why do you keep calling me a liar??

Doctor: β€œSir, I’ll say it again, that’s A Fib!”

Sorry, It’s not a good hearted joke.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/boogerknows
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2019
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Her: You’re such a liar! You said you have between 10 and 15 million dollars.

Him: I didn’t lie. I have 25 bucks.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2018
🚨︎ report
A constipated pathological liar told me he was having a bad day.

He was full of shit.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CaseyWillstat
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2018
🚨︎ report
My friend is such a liar.

He showed me this clay pot, and told me that he uses it for slow cooking.

What a crock.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AVeryCredibleHulk
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2018
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A constipated pathological liar told me he wasn't feeling well.

I could tell he was full of shit.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CaseyWillstat
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2018
🚨︎ report
What are the symptoms of a compulsive liar?

I don't have connection to the internet so I can't check.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2018
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Liars are just unbelievable!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/iack4
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2018
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What do you call a liar sitting in a river?

In de nile

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrDitz
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2018
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My dad is a religious man, and whenever I would lie as a kid, he would say, β€œDo you know where liars go?”

β€œNot where they say they’re going.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tehPWNwhale
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2018
🚨︎ report
Y'all hear about the habitual liar who allegedly published a best-seller?

Everybody's buying it.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/megaletoemahs
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2017
🚨︎ report
Soup lovers are all liars

You can never put too much stock in them.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ToroZuzuX
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2018
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What happens to liars when they die?

They lie still!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/WookieFragger
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2015
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5yo laying on sofa: Liar! You're lying!

Dad: No, you're lying, I'm standing.

Overheard my dad and brother

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Majellico
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2017
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Three Types of Liars

A good liar believes her lie as she tells it.

A mediocre liar believes something, as she talks, and pretends that her words correspond to that something.

A bad liar thinks of the truth as she lies against it.


X-post from /r/OCPoetry

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πŸ‘€︎ u/justonium
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2016
🚨︎ report
Why do windows make such bad liars?

Because you can always see right through them!

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JohnManyjohns
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2015
🚨︎ report
Why are ghosts bad liars?

Because you can see right through them!

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2019
🚨︎ report
Why are ghosts bad liars?

Because you can see right through them!

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2019
🚨︎ report
Why are ghosts bad liars?

Because you can see right through them!

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2019
🚨︎ report
Why are ghosts bad liars?

Because you can see right through them!

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2019
🚨︎ report
Why are ghosts bad liars?

Because you can see right through them!

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2019
🚨︎ report
Why are ghosts bad liars?

Because you can see right through them!

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2019
🚨︎ report
Why are ghosts such bad liars?

Because you can see right through them!

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/canthasslethehof
πŸ“…︎ May 27 2019
🚨︎ report
Why are skeletons bad liars?

Everyone can see right through them

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SharpNeedle
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2019
🚨︎ report
Why are ghosts such bad liars?

Because you can see right through them.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GoliathTheTitan
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2018
🚨︎ report

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