What do you call a chicken that has a lettuce leaf in its eye?

Chicken sees a salad

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BlankPhotos
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2020
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Grocery store lettuce know we can leaf with safe food
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ucchan801
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2019
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I was confused as to how much lettuce to buy from the grocery store, so I called my wife.

Turns out two heads are better than one.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2021
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My friend really changed when she became a vegetarian...

It’s like I’d never met herbivore

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πŸ‘€︎ u/_morgarita_
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2021
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Pandemic Puns
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πŸ‘€︎ u/egarske1
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2020
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Thought I would toss this one in
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tribelawn
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2020
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Iceberg! Right ahead!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Aliciab12
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2020
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Lettuce take a moment to appreciate this salad pun.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2020
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Poor guy
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bmizzo
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2019
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My mother sent this to me...
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bio1203
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2019
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Did I ever tell you about the girl that only ate plants?

I can't believe I never mentioned herbivore.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cavtrpr017
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2019
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Lettuce rejoice.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Quibblicous
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2019
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Lettuce pray for her.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FullData5
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2019
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514 Dad Jokes

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Josvys
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2019
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I once caught two vegans in my basement

Or at least I thought they were vegans. They kept shouting "Lettuce leaf!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Enhanced_35
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2019
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What Did the Vegetables say when they were kicked out of the garden ?

"it's fine then Lettuce Leaf!!! "

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Shdwstar2417
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2019
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Want to hear a bunny joke?

Great! Because even doe they're coney, I'm a rabbit fan of a really bunny jokr. Sorry if it bugs you, but they make me hoppy and I hope they multiply.

I'm all ears whenever I hare one, br'ers nothing better. If I had burrowed a buck fur every one that's cotton me to chuckle I could buy a 10 carrot ring just in case my brother Jackelopes.

Shoot, I can't remember what the joke was now...

Oh well, Lettuce leaf it there, I've got to bounce over to IHOP for lunch.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JephriB
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2019
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What did the salads say before departing?

Lettuce leaf.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bonethug
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2016
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Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs 2

If you fellow dadjokers haven't seen this, it's basically a movie full of dadjokes. :)

"We're all here to help you...now it's time to let us." (while he points to a leaf of lettuce)

I suggest watching it immediately. :)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/choralmaster
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2014
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lettuce see the problem

A man goes to see his doctor because he has a lettuce leaf sticking out of his ear.

"Hmmm," the doctor says, "that's strange."

The guy replies, "I know. And that's just the tip of the iceberg."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/shimshamshum
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2018
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What did the cabbage say to the tree?

Lettuce leaf

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πŸ‘€︎ u/iceberger3
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2017
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